All welcome in Muslim tea room 3!

[squishinglittlefatcheeks]

Salaam and hello to all.

Thought I would take the liberty of starting a new thread as I didn't get to say Eid Mubarak on the last one and I do like checking in with you all

So come in, pull up a chair and have some lovely biryani - and there's baklava for dessert

Yummytummy

I just read your post and I feel exactly the same as you, being alone for iftar and sehri. Difference is that my DH is either at the mosque, at his family's or in a sulk at the table and not speaking, except to maybe pick at my cooking. This year with iftar being so late, makes it difficult with the kids. I invited all the sisters I know over for iftar, and they all said no as their kids will be in bed sleeping. Likewise, I can only go to my inlaws on Saturday as there's no school the next day Strangely, this has been the easiest ramadan for me in years regarding the physical fast, but the spiritual side is challenging me

Iloved but at least you get to go inlaws on a saturday i don't even have that. And even a sulky dh is better than nothing as at least someone is there

It is very challenging though even if there are people around. Just so long days makes me feel very unwell

Salams sisters

What you having for iftar? I have made a tomato pasta bake (with chicken, spinach and mozzarella) and will have my samosas and spring rolls on the side.

How are your ibadah goals going too? I forgot to say thanks perfectly for that tafsir link. I havent downloaded her full lecture but have listened to the 5 minute excerpts. I have learnt the first 6 ayahs of Surah Mulk but to be honest i was kind of already familiar with the first part so it was more like revision. Tomorrow it gets real. I need some inspiration as I always find myself flagging mid month.

We had grilled fish and rice. It was delicious!

Yesterday was chicken and rice and molokheya.

Tomorrow might be kofta, not sure yet.

The pasta bake sounds great. I made this courgette lasagne on Friday. I loved it, so easy but cheap and really filling. DH wasn't so keen, but I think it was because I used quite a sharp cottage cheese instead of the ricotta so it was tangy!

My ibadah goals are going really badly . I haven't even been to mosque yet and it is the building next to mine. I am struggling a lot with tiredness, 3 hours of sleep is a killer! The kids are being really relentless this year. DD has her last day of school tomorrow so hopefully will be able to sleep in a bit after that.

Sorry to hear your both having a tough time iloved and yummy. This is the month of mercy, turn to Allah SWT and ask for help. With spiritual development I always find what helps me the most to raise my emaan is listening to and reading the Quran. If you want something to reach in to your chest and give your heart a good shake read Juz Tabarak. Surah Haqq and Surah Qiyamah are particularly good defibrillators and always shock me back to life. Other good surahs to read are Surah Yusuf, Surah Rahman and Waqiah. Take time out and read the translation as your listening to the recitation.

Iloved why is your dh being unpleasant? Is it a usual state or to do with Ramadan? It's a real shame as it spoils the time really doesn't it.

Iloved that sounds really sad for you, is e always like this?

ex used to be horrible and grumpy and forever criticising my cooking and my very existence actually, no matter what I went thro in trying to extricate myself from him, I never felt it would have been better to have him around than a single parent.
Nasty people bring you down and it is exhausting and soul destroying.

Yummy, I hope and make duas that Allah grant you ease, I pray the same for Ilove and everyone going thro a hard time.

Yesterday I made pakoras and samosas and we had leftovers for Iftar and fruit.

I promised myself I wouldn't do the whole fried food thing, butr I get carried away, it's so much fun laying out a beautiful table (floor actually we don't have a table).

Tonight I'm planning on making coriander kadhi and rice with sweet and spicy potatoes, prolly a load of pakoras again as well, everyone goes mad for them.

Oh fuzzy your pakoras sound great. I never think its really worth making fried stuff just for me! I really wish i was in one of these places you hear about where neighbours send plates of food at iftar would be amazing

my DC love love love the pakoras, my eldest keeps begging me to make them.

Would your neighbours appreciate a small plate of food? I used to give my neighbours food occasionally during Ramadan's when we first moved here one was non Muslim (Jehovahs witnesses actually) and the other was Muslim. I just knocked n the door held up the plate of food and said I am observing the month of Ramadan and it's traditional for us to share our food with friends and neighbours as a gesture of friendship and goodwill.

We became really good friends after that! lol

Well its more i am looking for people to feed me! Can barely manage mine and kids food let alone extra!

Ehric and Fuzzy, DH works long hours, is very stressed at work and fasting makes him exhausted. He's also been feeling unwell for a few months now but can't seem to find the time to see a GP, and then fasting on top of all that is a challenge for him. I also think he misses his DM at Ramadan, she died very suddenly 4 years ago and she loved cooking for him. His memories are interlinked with the food. He's fine once he's eaten.

Now I've written that I feel bad for complaining, everyone has their own personal struggles and inner turmoil. I was just feeling particularly down yesterday. I have since worked a nightshift and the time away from home has given me some perspective.

Yummy, is there a mosque near you with a women's section that you could attend for iftar? Our local mosque is tiny, so only the men go. Likewise the larger local mosques in the nearby towns all put on Eid celebrations which is nice for the kids as well as you. Does your local mosque have women groups or anything like that you could get involved in?

Yummy, when you have young children, I believe fasting to be of a great challenge and the fact you're struggling now but continuing to be good and practicing, Allah swt will reward you ten fold. In a couple of years, you'll see how different it becomes, especially when your DC share the hardships of fasting with you and have iftar together, even if they only managed 3 hours!

Fuzzy what's your pakora recipe? Mine just don't turn out tasty or crispy!

Ingredients
» Finely chopped onions
» Oil – 1 tablespoon + more for deep frying
» Water – 5 tablespoons
» Baking soda –a pinch
» Salt – to taste
» Sugar – 1 teaspoon I usually skip this
» Asafetida (Hing) – ¼ teaspoon
» Black pepper corns – 8-10 (lightly crushed in mortar and pestle)
» Coriander seeds – 1 teaspoon (lightly crushed in mortar and pestle)
» Carom seeds (Ajwain) – ½ teaspoon
» Green chilies – 4, chopped finely
» Dried Fenugreek leaves (Methi leaves) - tbsp. can use fresh too then use 1/2 cup washed and chopped
» Besan (gram flour) – 1 cup

Instructions
1.Take water and 1 tablespoon of oil in a bowl. Mix it well.
2.Then add baking soda, salt, sugar (if using), asafetida, crushed peppercorns & coriander seeds, carom seeds and green chilies. Mix it very well.
3.Then add fenugreek leaves & onions. Mix it properly.
4.Now add chickpea/gram flour (besan).
5.Mix it and make sure there are no lumps of flour. Batter should be thick.
6.Heat the oil in a pan on medium heat for deep frying. Once oil is hot enough Drop small balls in it using your hand or with help of two spoons. Make sure that you drop medium sized batter in hot oil, because while it is frying it will puff up and get bigger in size.
7.Do not touch them for at least 40 seconds after dropping batter otherwise they will break. After some time move them around and fry till they become golden brown. Remove them on paper towel lined dish.

We eat them with either home made tomato and coriander chutney or chilli sauce/tomato ketchup

Oh Yummy, I didn't realise that's what you meant. Can you get take outs or have friend/relatives send you food at you can freeze and eat when you need?

Our local Halal restaurants all have special Ramadan deals on alhmudulillah.

So sorry youre feeling so down.

Ilove I hope your husband stops taking his grief out on you, he has had a rough time but that's not a reason to make those who love you unhappy.

All this talk of food and pakoras is making me hungry! Iloved and fuzzy thanks for your kind words. It really helps when people say such kind things it means a lot. I wish I had anyone who could send food but there isn't really. If only fuzzy could distribute her pakoras to everyone magically! I guess takeaways but asian area is around 20 mins away and iftar is so late cant take kids out then. The local masjid is too small for ladies section and tbh i feel a bit intimidated going into masjids alone as everyone seems so much more religious and not so friendly maybe.

But anyway hope fasting is going good for everyone a week gone already!

With the pakoras I put all the ingredients except the water and gram flour into a large bowl and mix with my hands squeezing the onions to get the flavours out, then I add the four and warm water not just the random tablespoons of water enough water for the mixture to be of dropping consistency slightly thick and gloopy.

I make the batter up before Iftar time and fry an hour before Iftar, so it's all fresh.

Yummy I wish you were near I'd bring food over to you.

Thanks for the recipe Fuzzy. I went to my local tesco and they didn't have aesofetida and carom seeds Do you not use the batter and dip vegetables into it before frying?

I'm making an iced decaf frappe with whipped cream for iftar

You can make it without the asofoetida olajd carom seeds.

I don't dip veg into it, you can but if you do don't add the onions to the recipe just use the batter straight.

Assalaam alaykum all! Ramadan Mubarak (sorry it's being said so late)
Yummy and ilove sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. May Allah make it easy for you. Yummy solace is a great organisation, I don't really have any suggestions further than what the other posters have suggested I just didn't want to read and run. Perhaps stock up the freezer? Don't ever feel that you can't go to masjid cos you think others are more religious. The fact that you want to join in speaks volumes to me!
How are u all coping with kids testing your patience? I'm a complete bear with them and always feel bad after but I find it hard to deal with the whinging and winding each other up.
Everyone's dishes sound delish
Not long left today, best get to some ibaadah!

Salams everyone

Hope you are all well. Fuzzy Im definitely going to nick your pakoras recipe. I always get confused between a pakora and a onion bhaji. What's the difference? I thought it was the onions but your recipe has them in too. I made shawarma yesterday for iftar. First time and it came out pretty good. Ramadhan is my experimental month food wise. I like to try out different recipes. Im not a great cook. Im a bit heavy handed or under handed when it comes to seasoning but I do try. I bought a one pot cooking book which has been a blessing. So many put it all in a pot leave for x time job done recipes. Just what I need.

Its sad to hear people are struggling through Ramadhan with difficult spouses. Im more inclined to be like you fuzzy. Id rather be on my own and be in control of mine and my children's lives then live with an abusive man and let him wreak havoc on all of us. Even if you think at least he is good to the kids, think about if your own dd was in your position. Would you tell her to accept a life of unhappiness? Often abusers are only good to their kids whilst they are young, loyal, obedient, malleable etc. As soon as they start showing their own interests, developing their own personality, character then they turn on them too. Your property shouldnt talk back to you should it? Sorry for going on a rant. These sorts of men are absolute killers of your emaan too but dont ever think that the deen condones their behaviour. The sooner you get away from them the better. I pray inshallah yummy that the time will come soon when you look back at this and think the best thing that ever happened to you was the day he left. Its coming. With men like your ex life only gets worse. Without him life can and will get better.

Uh not under handed. Lets say light handed. you know what i meant i hope.

I always thought onion bhajis is the English name for pakoras!

I have definitely heard asians referring to them as bhajis. Pakoras look neater. Maybe bhajis are like their scruffy cousins.

Heads up by the way there are big sales on at the mo if anyone is looking for eid clothes for kids. Is it too early to start talking about eid outfits

Ah got you, Asians call them Bhajias, Pakora is I think the Punjabi word for them