All welcome in Muslim tea room 3!

[squishinglittlefatcheeks]

Salaam and hello to all.

Thought I would take the liberty of starting a new thread as I didn't get to say Eid Mubarak on the last one and I do like checking in with you all

So come in, pull up a chair and have some lovely biryani - and there's baklava for dessert

Salaam, peaceful, it's not a biography as such but I found thid book was great for really getting deeply into who the Prophet (pbuh) was. With the seerah books, they are amazing but I feel like I am learning more about what was around him. This book looks at all the gifts bestowed on him by Allah and is really awe inspiring. Some later parts in the book go into a lot of detail about scholarly debates about some aspects of his life which I didn't find so useful personally, the well worth buying the book for the first bit.
In terms of worldly preparation I have some rice and falafel in the freezer, spiritually, not feeling quite so well prepared!
Does anyone have any ideas for healthy but extremely calorific suhoor meals? I always lose weight in ramadan but am trying not to this time as it would make me underweight.

oh my clever clicky link was supposed to say "this book" obviously!

Salaam ladies, how exciting that Ramadan is finally back! I really need a big Iman boost this year. Perfectly, I came across this Ramadan healthy meal planner here: productivemuslim.com/the-fasting-and-the-fit/ . It has very little carbs (and sweets) though so I'm not sure I would last the whole day on these meals, but it seems like a good start insha Allah. My goals are just reconnecting with God really and focusing on my salah and ibadah insha Allah, I feel like I got completely taken over by the dunya and motherhood this past year. Allahuma Balaghna Ramadan

Salaam Mala, there are some great ideas on that chart but wow, I think I'd be starving trying to live on just that!
I also am in need of an eman boost. I also feel the need to reconnect with DH a bit, and I'm hoping Ramadan works its usual magic, as we tend to close our doors a bit to the outside world in ramadan.

Jazakhallah mala. Some great tips on that. I have decided to do a meal plan for the month. I did this last year and it really helped to speed up the iftar making process.

Perfectly in terms of needing an emaan boost I think a lot of mothers are in the same boat. We are kept busy from early morning to sometimes very late at night when you have a young baby. Im so shattered by the time my kids go to bed Im just trying to reconnect and rebuild myself. When you have very little spare time for anything its hard to ring fence any time for ibadah or developing your spirituality. I was reading some articles giving tips for mums during Ramadhan and the main gist of them was that its not about quantity but quality. You realistically cant do everything so focus on those acts of ibadah you really love. Another useful tip I read was write down your dua list now. Write down at least 10 duas for yourself, family and friends. Then during the month in your prayers you know what to focus your duas on and ask at least 3 a day. My mum is one of those who when she finishes her prayers she sits for at least 5 mins making dua and doing dhikr. One thing i feel bad about and need to work on is making time after prayers for dua. I literally pray my fard then jump up and get back to the daily grind. Taking that time out to speak to Allah SWT I think will really help my emaan. Another tip I thought was yseful was put away some of your kids toys to minimize the potential mess thy can make.

Anyway thought I would share some of the articles with you all to read at your leisure. I found the first link very useful in terms of practical tips on how to fit in more ibadah and the second link good for how to manage your other responsibilities during the month.

wisdomandtea.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/productive-ramadan-for-busy-mothers/

confessionsofamuslimmommaholic.com/2013/06/11/ramadan-tips-for-mothers/

productivemuslim.com/ramadan-interview-series-transcript-how-can-busy-moms-manage-their-time-during-ramadan/

www.theheartsoflight.com/ramadan-for-the-very-busy-mum/

I think my new goals are:

1. Memorise Surah Mulk by learning one ayat a day (30 days = 30 verses = whole surah)

2. Listen to more Quran by playing it in the house during the day even if its in the background

3. Listen to lecture on seerah (realistically I know I wont be able to read a book) whilst making iftar.

4. Read duas after at least one of my prayers during the day (either fajr or maghrib)

5. Read at least 10 verses of translation of Quran after kids go to bed.

These may seem little but honestly if I can keep them up I will be happy.

Anyone decorating their house this month for the kids.

Any breastfeeding mums fasting this year? If you have fasted in the past whilst you were breastfeeding how did you manage? Im optimistically planning to fast every other day but not going to beat myself up if I cant do it.

Last one I promise.

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Healthyramadan/Pages/healthyramadanhome.aspx

NHS advice about how to have a healthy Ramadhan. They have a healthy meal plan on there perfectly if your interested.

Ramadan meal plan

That's a really good tip peaceful about focusing on quality not quantity, makes me feel more positive masha Allah. And I think I might add surah al mulk to my goals too, 1 ayah per day sounds a good plan!
I am hoping to decorate a bit insha Allah, I printed out a Ramadan banner I got from Sakina Design, will blow up a few balloons and maybe try to make lanterns with the kids. There are loads of ideas on Pinterest. I am breasfeeding my 14 month old this year, I tried to breastfeed last year but felt my milk supply decreased a lot after a few days, so I settled on a rhythm of fasting 1-2 days then breaking my fast. Just listen to your body! I suppose it also depends on what your little one is having, if he is still exclusively breastfed it might be better not to fast. There is no hardship in the deen alhamdoulillah.

I've decided not to have too much fried stuff during Ramadan. Will break fast with dates and water and stick to a main meal wit lots of fruit to eat. And obviously the compulsory cup of tea.

Also sisters would greatly appreciate duas if you could remember us please would be most grateful inshallah.

Also a friend said that drinking coconut water is better than normal tap water for effective hydrating. Might stock up as Tescos is doing a three for a pound on coconut water.

I m making samosas tho, can't not, it's a Ramadan tradition, when the samosas run out Ramadan is coming to an end and we frantically up the ibadah to get in our last duas and ibadah in before the month of Mercy is gone.

Ramadhan Mubarak!

May Allah SWT accept your fasting and prayers in this blessed month. Ameen

Ramadan Mubarak to you all! I'm fasting tomorrow and excited! I have xh staying here tonight and probably for Iftar tomorrow and we will see how it goes from there. Too much time together makes us less than kind to each other! I have prepared harira for tomorrow but that's it. DS keeps asking to fast bless him, I have said he can try going without breakfast on the weekend and see how he gets on with that! He's only 6 so of course he won't be really fasting.

Ramadan Mubarek everyone!
Thanks for those links peaceful they were really good.
Off to make some suhoor porridge now...slow releasing oats and all that!

hello all

forgive me for intruding but i was hoping you would be able to give me some advice. i work with children of 7/8 years old and one of my children is fasting for ramadan.
i am so worried about him trying to get through the school day with no water. mum insists that he be allowed to try it and he seemed very keen yesterday.

i am expecting his fast to have been a one day thing yesterday but if he is fasting today, can you offer me any advice on how to talk to his parents about this please?

Hi Gymboy,

My DD's go to Muslim schools. The school has a policy that all children bring lunch with them so if they start flagging they eat & drink.

My youngest observed the first fast yesterday, the mad excitement she always begs to join in, she's 10, I didn't let her fast today and she agreed that she'd fast a few during the last ten days of Ramadan &/or over the weekends, maybe an odd fast during a weekday if she really wants.

At 7/8 the child is not going to be able to fast consecutively. I think you should suggest to the mother that it's fine but he needs to bring lunch with him just in case & he'll be doing everything with the class.

thanks fuzzywuzzy
we couldn't let him go out to play yesterday because we felt that running around in the heat would make him thirsty! he spent lunchtime and playtime in a quiet spot drawing.
it's hard because my job is to protect him and i feel really odd knowing he can't have a drink.

gymboy I totally see your point of view, my first ever fast was during a summer and I was 7 too, I insisted on it. It's a fine balance for parents being harangued to by their children to let them fast.

But you need to do your job, if he runs around and gets thirsty and tired he can eat and drink, he's very young and fasting is not compulsory for him yet.

As a mother I worry about my eldest fasting and any suggestion she's not feeling well I refuse to let her fast, she can make the fasts up in winter, there are allowances and they should be taken.

If the child is enthusiastic to fast he can do half days and eat lunch with everyone, a lot of kids do fasts like that so they feel included.

This actually annoys the hell out of me, then schools feel the need to ban children from fasting and it becomes an issue when there really isn't one. The odd fast here and there fine, consecutive fasts for little children is ridiculous and not doable especially during the summer months.

Salams all

One down. Another 27/28 to go. How did you find the fasting yesterday? Subhanallah I found it surprisingly easy. I havent fasted during Ramadhan for so long I forgot how Allah SWT makes it easy for you. Taking a day off today though to make sure my breastfeeding doesnt get disrupted.

Hey Ehric i was wondering whether you would join us again this year. I hope your ex and his family appreciate you. You go way above and beyond the call of duty. What a lucky little man your son is too. I used to teach 4 year olds in a weekend islamic school and during Ramadhan the kids would come and tell me thy were doing fasting from breakfast to lunch. Worked like a charm.

Perfectly Im glad you enjoyed the links. They really motivated me to get my act together before Ramadhan. I feel like I have a plan now.

Gymboy your student can have a drink. Children under the age of puberty are not required to fast. Just make sure water is available to him if he needs it. If he looks a bit peaky give him a drink and just tell the mother he looked like he was about to faint and you were saving her a trip to a&e. I used to go to school fasting when I was in primary (maybe from about 9-10 years old) but if i got really thirsty I would drink water and no one would be the wiser. We used to break fast at 4-5pm at that time. Those were the days. Fuzzy's plan sounds good. Tell the mother to send him in with his lunch so if he struggles he can have it.

Hey peaceful! I honestly wouldn't do it if I didn't enjoy it it's not some big sacrifice for them
Yesterday was hard because I had to get up at 6.30 so it was long. Today I feel fantastic and full of energy. Only an extra hour sleep but I feel much better! I didn't gorge myself last night either which was much better as previously I have eaten too much too quickly and felt too full to sleep!
DS wants to fast, I have said he can fast til lunch tomorrow if he wants to (but I will give him drinks, maybe a nourishing smoothie for breakfast!) he's only 6 but he wants to be involved.

hi ramadan mubarak to you all

just wanted to ask i feel very very sad as due to my situation as a single mum i am alone for every sehri and iftari and will be alone on eid and its really getting to me. kids too small to fast. since separating obviously inlaws dont want to know and my brother lives in qatar and so my parents are spending ramadan and eid there. i understand they want to experience the time there but it hurts to be alone. i cant go to any masjid as iftar is so late and past kids bedtime. few muslim friends live far and usually busy with their own families. just cant be bothered to cook anything nice for only myself and it feel like there is none of the fun in it alone

it hurts as everyone says ramadan should be about unity and togetherness and fasting with people but i dont have that and its so hard anyway. i just dont have the emaan or the energy for it at all. always did the right thing and my life is still hell.

please can anyone help. i just dont want to do it

I spent a lot of Ramadans doing iftar and suhoor by myself, I took the chance to enjoy the quiet and peace. I'd listen to talks on youtube, I loved the transliteration of surah Yusuf by Dr Yasir Qadhi.

Does where you live have masjids that do classes/events exclusively for sisters? Contact Solace I don't know if they will have a network in your area, but your struggling and it would be worth calling them inshallah, I know you're to a revert.

I also made friends with other single mums over the years and we would spend at least one iftar at each others homes.

Could you parents not pay for you and your children to go to Qatar as well at least for a short while maybe the last few days and Eid?

I know you're not a revert (that should be)

thanks for replying. end of ramadan and eid are unfortunately still term time so cant miss school

Could you speak to the school and ask for leave given your circumstances and that it's a family thing?

i suppose i could but to be honest i really have a fear of flying and wouldnt be able to cope with a long flight and two small kids alone. plus personally i would prefer to travel at a non fasting time

thank you for your help. He is fasting again today and i have told him that he just needs to say the word and he can have a drink and not to worry about it.