All welcome in Muslim tea room 3!

[squishinglittlefatcheeks]

Salaam and hello to all.

Thought I would take the liberty of starting a new thread as I didn't get to say Eid Mubarak on the last one and I do like checking in with you all

So come in, pull up a chair and have some lovely biryani - and there's baklava for dessert

Salaam yummytummy, really sorry to hear you are having a difficult time.
Would you be able to attend iftar at a local mosque on the weekends at least? I quite often go with 4 and 1 year old, and they enjoy it too.
Other than that I can only suggest trying to look at things from a different perspective. I also spent lots of ramadan and eids alone, before I got married, and while it's different as being a convert I didn't have anything to compare it to, I do sometimes look back longlingly, as I at least had the time to reflect, study and read quran, which i don't have much time to do now. Perhaps this could be your reflective, me-time Ramadan. Put the kids to bed and have a couple of hours pre-iftar?
I am intending to listen to the tafsir lessons here throughout Ramadan.
If you wanted to do them as well we could compare notes?!

Salaam everyone,

Sorry you are having a rough time yummytummy. Ramadan Mubarak from Egypt, I will be thinking of you during this month and making duaa that you enjoy this month once you get into a rhythm. It is hard being alone with young children at the best of times, I am always around on MN if you want to talk.

We are an hour away from fajr and I am so tired! DH has many friends who have come back to Egypt for just a few days and is out most nights catching up with them after the taraweeh.

The kids have already become nocturnal. I have spent the time since iftar being a character from my little pony and a bouncy castle. No Qur'an. I haven't even cleaned up properly.

I have been finding the fasting fine but tonight I was trying to drink regularly in small amounts. The only result is a swollen tender belly but a still raging thirst. It is weird. I am bfing but DS is 18 months so reduced supply is not really a problem. Today wasn't even that hot.

Also, someone please keep me away from the dates. The almond stuffed ones are gone (they weren't the best, I convinced myself I was doing DH a favour by polishing them off) and so now we are onto the massive 2.25kg box of Iraqi ones. To make matters worse, DH says he prefers Egyptian dates so I will likely end up eating the lot, with minimal assistance from DS.

I hope you are all having good fasts and plenty of peaceful time for ibadah. I wasn't looking forward to Ramadan this year, but now it is here I am feeling at peace and ready. I just hope I can do better at prayers and reading Qur'an to make up for these first couple of days.

The usual bun fight has descended about Ramadan on AIBU

Step away form the threads Teacup, you tried. But it's a load of Islamaphobic rhetoric dressed up as concern. Guaranteed any Muslim surgeon who caused harm would be plastered all over the news with his religion highlighted. IF the poster is concerned honestly she should demand a different non-Muslim surgeon.

Nobody died or killed anyone whilst fasting. And I've never in my entire life nor as my family nor my friends ever encountered anyone who has or anyone who has fainted/driven badly because of fasting. And middle Eastern countries/the Indian subcontinent have absolutely crazy road conditions and reckless drivers especially in places like Dubai were the rich spoilt Arab kids race and do 'stunts' in their flashy cars, the warnings to drive safely are up all year round.

I am truly scared about the world I am bringing up my young family, it's like we are being dehumanized, and where that will lead to terrifies me.

Allahualam

Yes good advice fuzzywuzzy I have had enough now.

I am finding it all really depressing. It is the same every year.

It makes me think that muslims shouldn't tell others they are fasting because of incidences like these. It is the approach I take myself. Don't tell anyone and then you cannot be accused of poor performance. It is a shame it has to be this way.

The vitriol is really difficult to cope with and really gets me down.

Salam sisters
I am a muslim mum of a 14 year old daughter. Are there any muslim sisters who have daughters of the same age to chat about muslim teens issues and exchange idea.

Thanks
Solly

Yep, I am disengaging from the AIBU Muslim threads. Not worth the stress, and I don't want to spoil my fast!

Just out of interest, do you regularly encounter people like this in your normal lives or is MN especially provocative? I am sure that lots of people do hold these views but I have been very fortunate to never have had any problems living in the UK or in France. In fact I sometimes feel I am judged more in the circles I move in here in Egypt about my hijab, ridiculous as that sounds.

Hi Solly, my DD is only 4 so no help on the teen front I am afraid, although it is a stage I am not looking forward to since I my family are not Muslims and DD is at a French school so there are going to be a lot of conflicting messages.

I have come across some people in normal life to that are this provocative and I think a lot of people are "keyboard warriors" so say things they maybe wouldn't usually say and use it as an opportunity to jump on the bandwagon

Altered, nope never Alhumdulillah. In fact our work has a reflection room which everyone uses and some people use for working in quietly, but they are absolutely lovely and let us use the room for the five minutes we need to do salat.

I don't go around banging on about fasting either unless I'm offered food, I fast all year round Mondays and Thursday as is the sunnah and everyone is used to it. My team is actually so sweet they tend to tailor food celebrations for days I wont be fasting. I have NEVER requested this and am NEVER EVER bothered about people eating around me or brining in treats wen I cant eat.

I return the favour and make sure we celebrate Eid in style, we bring in food and cakes for everyone for Eid as a thank you for the thoughtfulness and we enjoy sharing the celebration.

I've got a 12 year old DD.

I agree about the "keyboard warriors" but I am sorry you have to put up with this in your daily life too.

How is Ramadan going for everyone so far?

This is a picture of our fanous Ramadan.

Salaam sisters! Ramadan Mubarak!

I have also stepped away from AIBU, although last I looked there was someone who's an atheist posting about the benefits of religion (yes, really)

That's a lovely photo. I really need to get a Ramadan Lantern, does anyone know of any good ones available online?

Salams all

Hope your Ramadhan is going well. Ehric I am less impressed now I know you enjoy the fasting. Just kidding I know what you mean. I have always felt a bit of a fraud when friends have said admiringly that they didn't know how I was able to fast and that they couldnt do it. Its actually not as difficult as people think. Its much more about discipline for me then hunger. After all people all over the world are forced to function on very little food or water and are able to do it. The feast you get at the end of the day helps too. I realise now that although it distracts from the worship and meaning of the month it does help to motivate and give that celebratory feel to the month. We used to have samosas, shorba, mandazi most days and for after iftar we would have home made creme caramel. I miss living with my mum during Ramadhan.

How did your ds fare this weekend with his 'fast'. I have also been thinking of ways to include my ds in the months festivities not that he really notices that Im not eating. We made and put up decorations last week which was nice. I thought I cant make the month special by cooking amazing iftars but By God I can stick sparkly bits of card together and blow up balloons. In a non explosive way mind. I also adapted a calendar of good deeds I found online for him to do throughout the month. Bearing in mind that he is 3 they consist of things like say Bismillah before you eat, decorate a charity box, make an eid card for gps, bake a cake to give away, hug your baby brother, go to the mosque with daddy etc. Lots of great ideas for activities here

goodtreemontessori.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/30-childrens-activities-for-ramadan/

to do with young children to get them involved if anyone's interested.

Altered I know exactly what you mean about the dates. We bought the Palestinian Medjoul dates from Zaytoun at the start of Ramadhan Im already 3/4 through and I know its me as my dh breaks his fast in the mosque. What makes it worse is I have only fasted about 3 days. I would love to spend Ramadhan and Eid in a muslim country one day. I have friends that have and they tell me the atmosphere is amazing. One of my friends who is spending her first Ramadhan in the Uk this year told me the thing she will miss most is the daily knock before iftar which was usually her neighbours bearing trays of food for her to have when she broke her fast. Sometimes more than one would visit her and she wouldn't even need to cook iftar . I was in Egypt a couple of years ago just before Ramadhan and saw loads of those lanterns going up. They have some pretty Moroccan lanterns in the Range if your interested or you can make them yourself by getting some coloured jars and filling them with fairy lights. A tip I got from a friend.

Teacup I used to waste a lot of time on those kinds of thread but now try to steer clear. I mentally visualise them as delusional attention seekers who have got nothing better to do with their lives. It helps that they dont know the first thing about the deen though. That can be quite comical. Like the woman with the High born Egyptian caste neighbour who has five wives. I have also learnt from these threads not to shop for underwear in Primark. The number of posters who have thought it relevant to mention they saw a Muslim woman shopping for nighties in Primark has made me paranoid. Its Debenhams all the way for me now.

m.therange.co.uk/search?keywords=moroccan+lanterns

Those Moroccan lanterns look great! I want to swap!

IKEA also do some lanterns that could work here and here and here. The last one is only £2 and comes in silver and black too. Not nearly as pretty though!

What is the primark thing? I was going to buy some stuff from primark when I am over after Eid.

Maybe its just a weird thing that has stuck in my mind.

Thank you the link peacefuloptimist there are some lovely ideas there.

Came across this beautiful nasheed yesterday, the lyrics are amazing. It is called Ghurabaa (Strangers). Particularly relevant after the last day or two.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=KURlzQO17wQ

Salaams,

You can download and print off Ramadan activity pack here for kids.

Looks fun and is very colourful. Gets children involved and thinking about it.

Hi all - the above YouTube link has been reported to us a few times by some concerned posters and we wanted to ask your opinions on it.

The few people that have reported it have asked us to remove it for 'containing extremist material'. We don't claim to be experts in any field, and rely on our community to guide us and let us know what you feel is acceptable or not.

We'd really appreciate your views. Please do post below, but if you don't feel comfortable doing that, feel free to report this post with your thoughts.

Many thanks everyone.

MNHQ

It's a song about the struggle of being a Muslim in times when religion, Islam, is seen as strange and it's followers strange/different/the other/maligned/persecuted for following Islam.

It states we should ignore the taunts and continue thro the trials we are faced with as this is our struggle for the sake of God alone.

I think if people reported it and objected to it you should have deleted it rather than initiate a discussion about it potentially embarrassing posters who may have not wanted to draw more attention to it. Especially for the reason provided by those who reported it.

After reading the lyrics I can see why some people might have reported it. The Arabic term used has not been translated in to English and has a dual meaning which can mean struggle/persevere spiritually or its more common usage in the media. I think that though most people would interpret it the first way particularly in the context the lovely teacup posted the song in and fuzzy has kindly elaborated on. However as it has not been translated in to English it could be easily misconstrued.

Extremist material?
The lyrics contain one line about jihad which as a cursory Google will tell you does not refer solely to Islamist militancy. Other than that it's a song about faith only.

i hope there are not posters reading this thread poised to report what they see as extremist views. That is an uncomfortable thought. Perhaps it was contributors to this thread who reported it, but that would be surprising.

islamicsupremecouncil.org/understanding-islam/legal-rulings/5-jihad-a-misunderstood-concept-from-islam.html?start=9

Salams all

I was one of those who reported the post. I have posted on the thread and do follow it. I have heard the nasheed before but have never read the lyrics until now. I did interpret the use of the word jihad in the way you all have as a spiritual struggle to remain strong in your faith in the face of adversity. However I worried that others who were less familiar with islam may interpret it with its other meaning and worried the tearoom may get unfairly smeared with the extremist brush for not reacting to it even though I know most of you didnt because you interpreted it in its correct context. sorry guys I think I went a bit overboard with the whole self censorship thing. Massive apologies to teacup for causing so much drama around your post. I'll go now.

My apologies for any offence caused

Thank you to the supportive posters

fuzzywuzzy I interpreted the lyrics the same way as you

I was posting it as a response to some of the hostility shown in the AIBU threads regarding fasting