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Philosophy/religion

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Original poster

spirit in my house frightening my DD...

382 replies

hollowhallows · 21/10/2013 03:41

I have NC for this.

OK, I know some people are going to think I am a crank, but here goes...

I have been aware of a spirit/s in my house since I moved in. In my family we are thought to have 'the sight' and it has been very real to me from the experiences I had growing up and experiences I continue to have. I'm not talking miracles or talking to the other side, just an ability to sense what others cannot, such as aura and spirits etc...

Because I was aware of spirits myself as a child from my own experiences, I was always aware that my children could experience the same thing. I have dealt with having 'the sight' (I don't know what else to call it, I know 'the sight' sounds cheesy) and as I have grown older it has bothered me less and I fear the things I sense a lot less. I hope this is all making sense, I usually keep this to myself Blush

Well now my DD has started to very obviously see something that is frightening her. It is starting to become more frequent and is really upsetting her. It is always in the same place in the lounge and she runs over to me upset, crying and pointing towards whatever it is she can see. She tries to tell me but her speech isn't good enough yet, but her actions and feelings are very clear. Tonight she was so upset by whatever it was that she started crying and covering her eyes so she couldn't see it. I tried to encourage her to show me what it was that was upsetting her in case it wasn't what I thought, but she refuses to even venture to that side of the lounge when this happens. This has been going on for about 6 months but is now becoming more obvious.

I am not religious, I am not overly superstitious, but this is the one thing I genuinely believe in because I have experienced it myself. I have read stories by other MN's about their children telling them they had seen peculiar things so I'm hoping to get some input on how to handle this (and not be mocked in the process). When I sense something myself, I just ignore it. I'm not sure how to handle my DD possibly seeing things that are upsetting her.

OP posts:
headinhands · 01/11/2013 16:22

Skeptics have made suggestions on how to help her dd, which were met with disdain and then this discussion followed from there. It hasn't been derailed it just didn't go the way others wanted it to but discussion is still about how to help her dd and I say until her dd can speak op should do her best to comfort her without performing unusual rituals. Just reassure her she's safe with words and cuddles as you would normally.

Again, atheist doesn't mean you don't believe in ghosts so our position on god is neither here not there on this thread.

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 16:35

It has been derailed. The OP stated her own belief at the beginning of the thread and asked for help on that basis - she did not say 'what do you think this could be?'. You are not going to change her views with your constant brow beating.

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 16:39

And tbh, I think it's rather disingenuous to suggest that you can use threads like these for debate about the existence or otherwise of anything supernatural. You can start your own thread for that but to keep on with it here comes across as arrogant imo when the OP has made her feelings clear.

BackOnlyBriefly · 01/11/2013 16:40

If you post on the religion and spirituality board then generally you want to hear from people who believe in religion and spirituality

Posters on another MN board (which shall remain nameless) said much the same thing "but we only want people who agree with us in here" and MNHQ explained firmly that this is not how it works.

You're on less shaky ground saying "but the thread title was..." but people posted what they considered was the best help for the child rather than what pleased the beliefs of the adults. Surely that's what everyone should want isn't it?

headinhands · 01/11/2013 16:46

Arrogant is a refusal to change your mind in light of evidence. I have no evidence that ghosts exist therefore that shaped my advice to just comfort as she would if her dc was upset about thunder etc.

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 16:47

It's not that 'we only want people who agree with us'

The onus is on other people to behave decently and not to keep on brow beating because they are determined that everyone agrees with their pov no matter how long the thread gets. They should be sensitive enough to realise that on this board there are people who believe in stuff that maybe they don't. It seems to me that certain people actively trawl this board to tell people they are wrong, wrong, wrong.

And the thread title makes it clear what the Op's beliefs are.

curlew · 01/11/2013 16:52

So, as I said, but nobody has replied, if somebody posted about their child's migraines and said she was absolutely sure they were caused by eyestrain, would I be disrespecting her beliefs if I said something like "are you sure? Because I thought that about my dd, and she got glasses but they didn't help. And it turned out she was sensitive to cheese and chocolate"

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 16:57

A medical condition and the cause of it really isn't comparable with belief in God and / or paranormal phenomena.

BackOnlyBriefly · 01/11/2013 17:04

A medical condition and the cause of it really isn't comparable with belief in God and / or paranormal phenomena.

Absolutely. That's why it's important to look for a medical or other reason first before assigning behavior to ghosts.

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 17:10

I imagine the OP already has Hmm to suppose otherwise is patronising.

headinhands · 01/11/2013 17:16

I'm thinking of a thread a while ago, the op was concerned she was possessed by a demon. No one agreed with her. Everyone had the sense to ask her to seek an alternative explanation for how she was feeling. Why was it okay for posters to give an alternative explanation to the op's on that thread, but not on this?

BackOnlyBriefly · 01/11/2013 17:19

Well you may imagine of course.

curlew · 01/11/2013 17:20

"I imagine the OP already has to suppose otherwise is patronising."

Is it? So does the same apply to my migraine example "I won't suggest food sensitivity as a possible cause because it would be patronizing"?

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 17:40

Yes it is. What do you think you will achieve? I can understand giving your view (without rude comments about insanity or otherwise). But then to keep on and on and on - why exactly? You won't persuade people to change their minds with such a dogmatic approach in your determination to be right.

curlew · 01/11/2013 17:43

Just to be clear. If a poster asked for help about their child's migraine it would be patronising to suggest an alternative cause to the one they were putting forward. Really??????

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 17:47

You're comparing apples with pears.

You have your view, others have a different view. You should just accept that some people believe in things that you don't - you are not going to be able to change that. The decent thing to do is to give your opinion and then move on and not to continue brow beating.

curlew · 01/11/2013 18:00

I'm not browbeating.

Why is it different? Both posters have a distressed child. Both posters are clear that they know the cause. In both cases I have alternative suggestions. Why is it patronising to offer them?

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 18:04

But you have offered them, they have been noted and when the OP said the thread had been derailed this was ignored. The OP has disappeared now so I assume she hasn't found the thread very helpful. Sometimes people want to discuss things without a debate. Mainly because they don't want to have to explain themselves. If you want to have a debate why can't you do that on another thread?

headinhands · 01/11/2013 18:52

Anyone want to explain why it was okay to ignore the beliefs of the poster who thought she was possessed? I'm not saying this op is possessed obviously I just want to know how/when you decide it's appropriate to dismiss an op's explanation?

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 18:55

I didn't see that thread so can't comment. And that doesn't have anything to do with this thread.

headinhands · 01/11/2013 18:56

Well it does because posters disregarded the ops beliefs.

headinhands · 01/11/2013 18:58

No posters on that thread said anything like 'you can't ignore the op's beliefs' . How come?

technodad · 01/11/2013 19:11

Hold on a minute.

The only reason this thread has been derailed is because "believers" have not allowed an alternate view (posted as a genuine response of support from a differing perspective) to be posted without a counter attack.

The immediate response to any post that doesn't perfectly align with your expectations of acceptability is to attack it, rather than just let it be part of the advice.

Taking a slightly different look at the medical example, let's apply it to a vaccination example.

Example OP "I believe that the MMR vaccination will cause autism in my DC. Please can someone give me advice as to how I can stop my DC getting Measles in the current welsh outbreak"

Technodad "The MMR vaccine doesn't cause autism. You are not basing your decision on the majority scientific view and you need to get your DC vaccinated unless they have a real medical reason not to (as advised by doctors."

My response here, is identical in tone and recommendation to that which I published early in this thread. I am simply countering an incorrect analysis of the data by the OP.

Are you saying the above example is wrong? Should I not reply and risk the death of the OP's child?

Why does the OPs "belief" in ghosts make my reply unacceptable, but their "belief" in vaccination risk not come attached with the same "deeply held belief do not cross line"?

Both are identically bollox and both could lead to a child suffering. FACT

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 19:31

Vaccination has nothing to do with the issue.

An alternate view has been given. Lots of people believe in these things whether you like it or not. If you think belief in this sort of stuff causes children to suffer then I would disagree, writing FACT doesn't make it true either.

lottieandmia · 01/11/2013 19:34

It's not your place to wade in and decide how other people live their lives. If you disagree / find it tiresome / think it's nonsense then fine. But don't dictate.