The Muslim Tearoom

[HardlyEverHoovers]

Salaams/peace to all! I'm already missing our old thread, so taking the bull by the horns and opening our very own Muslim Tearoom, all welcome (non-Muslims too of course), to chat, share, ask questions etc etc. Imagine a cosy cafe with floor cushions, tea and coffee of all kinds, and lovely cakes! Please join me!

Salaam,

Thanks for all of the information. I've spoken with my mother in law and I've decided not to fast. I'm actually really sad about it as last year was my first ever Ramadan and I loved every minute of it. The first day was also when I started wearing hijab so it was really special for me. I just need to remember the health of my baby comes first and I'd like to remain breastfeeding for as long as possible.

Can I ask now then, with regards to making up the fasts. I thought you had to make up your lost fasts before the next Ramadan? So what if I'm still breastfeeding next year too, will I have to wait until I stop and then make up two months worth once I've stopped?

Fuzzy, I think what you said was really helpful with my decision not to fast, jazakallah khair.

Crescent, I'm struggling to pray at all at the moment. And I feel terrible for it. I too wish we could pray the Shia way. My mother in law is Shia, I've never actually asked her about the way she prays, I think I will when I see her tomorrow. As my father in law was Sunni my husband and brother/sister in laws follow the Sunni way although my husband follows no way at all.

I used to struggle with the prayers too Lost, I did a similar thing to what crescent suggested, picked the easiest one and did that everyday, then the next easiest and then the next until I was doing all of them.
With the long days the whole maghrib/isha/fajr thing is really hard. There is an opinion that you can pray isha one hour after fajr between mid-May and end July, which helps.

Don't be sad about not being able to fast this ramadan, be happy and thank Allah for his Mercy on us. With regards fasting next year, play it by ear see what happens if your nursing is the main source of food for your baby then I would not fast if your baby is feeding less and on other foods I'd give it a go.

As far as I know you will have to make up the fasts you miss so if you miss two in a row it will be two months owing!

With the lies thing, I also ensure I don't lie to my children in return for expecting the truth from them. It works Alhumdulillah.
There are three rules in our house, we don't hit, we try to be kind at all times, and we tell the truth. Everything else is merry chaos.

Can you just pray the farad of the salat so it makes it quicker, I guess it is difficult to maintain all five prayer times, but for me I'm nowhere close to bedtime even at Esha time, I must confess I prefer summer as I get all my salah in, during winter I do two out of five as there's no where here to pray, it really upsets me if I think about it.

Don't be sad about not being able to fast this ramadan, be happy and thank Allah for his Mercy on us. Thanks again fuzzy, you've made me view it in a different light again, I really must not be

Oops...

I really must not be so negative, I need to start focusing on the positives. I used up be such a positive person but I fear years of verbal rubbish is grinding me down!

Hardly, that's how I started after my pp bleeding stopped. I started with zuhr and asr, doing only the fard, but thats as far as I got!

I'm going to start today as I'm housebound with dd2 who has chicken pox!

Rosie, crescent posted that information on the last thread and I found it really helpful.

I really have learnt so much from this thread and got some amazing support, thanks all.

I've been taught that if you want to speak to Allah then pray Salah, if you want Allah to speak to you, recite the Quran.

Some days I just need to pray.

The way I deal with Salah is to pray slap bang at the beginning time so I don't forget and I'm not constantly worrying about forgetting.

Yes I am Hanafi, we've been taught to pray sunnah and Nafl as well, at salah time I get everyone up to pray including the children so it's automatic, my girls are used to it Alhumdulillah.

Also make intention to yourself and ask Allah to make it easy for you, I do that for Fajr, which is really hard for me and then I ask Allah to grant me a quick and restful sleep after Fajr, otherwise I have had days where I get up at 3am for Fajr and then watch the clock tick to 6am when I have to get up for work...those days have almost bought me to my knees.
I find when I make dua especially for Salah, it is swiftly answered.

And Alhumdulillah for the days when we are not required to perform salat, the days where I've had a week where work has been insane I feel deeply grateful that Allah has granted us respite one week of every month.

Salaam,

I've always prayed the fard and sunnah, with the intention to pray the nafl in the future too. I feel like my life is such a whirlwind at the moment, I'm looking to the future when ds is slightly older and we're more settled, then I'll be able to fit in all 5 prayers inshallah.

Crescent I've never heard about the 40 days for something to be a habit, I'm going to take that on board. Day 1 started yesterday as I prayed once.

You definitely need to stay away from chicken pox, have you had it yourself? Some people say if you've had it then your baby is immune whilst pregnant and breastfeeding. However I'm not sure how proven this is and I'd never take the risk.

I've always wondered that myself about giving to the poor. I'm completely clueless and my H is also. He always relied on his dad for things like that .

Fuzzy, I used to get that, some days I'd just need to pray. Often it was after a round of my husbands vicious tongue. On those days I'd pray 5 times, fard and sunnah, then make dua for myself and my husband then sob afterwards.

How old are your girls fuzzy? I think during Ramadan as its the summer holidays I'm going to get my 8 year old up with me to pray fajr. She's never actually prayed before, although she can recite it all. She needs at least 12 hours sleep a night still otherwise she can't function! Although she actually has 13 hours, she's normally in bed at 6.30! Last night she went up at 7 and is still fast asleep. My 3 year old however has been on the go since 6!

I'm probably going to disappear a bit over the next few weeks, I'll still be around but may not post that often. I've been in denial about moving house and now we have 3 weeks today until I have to hand my keys back. And we still have nowhere to live. I think we're going to end up at my mother in laws with all our furniture in storage until we find somewhere. 6 adults and 3 children in a 3 bed house won't make for easy living!! Wish me luck!

Oh I killed the thread

Salaam sisters, this thread has gone a bit quiet so I'm going to bump it up with yet another self absorbed post.

I was admitted to hospital last week and had to stay in a few days. I developed mastitis, had a temp of 39.6 and my pulse rate was 150 (should be 60-100) and so I was rushed onto a ward as they thought I was developing septicaemia. It was scary and I didn't have a clue what was happening. I was a bit delirious! They started me on iv antibiotics and put me on a drip. My baby boy was taken to my mother in laws for the night where he was very well looked after. The girls stayed at home with my husband.

Anyway, the cause of all this was not only mastitis but I had an abscess in my breast. Ouch. Because I stayed in two nights and was on a cocktail of painkillers I'm currently going cold turkey and switched to formula. I'm gutted. I'm still in agony and can't even move my arms due to being so engorged. DS has taken the switch amazingly alhamdulillah, and doesn't route for me anymore when he's hungry, he expects a bottle and guzzles 5oz in under 5 minutes! He's feeding 3 hourly instead of 2 hourly in the day and my husband did the night feeds last night. Just a shame I couldn't sleep because of the pain!!

crescent the house search is on hold at the moment, as is packing up the house. I have visions of us throwing everything in boxes and bin bags and having the headache of dealing with it at the other end! Two weeks tomorrow we have to move! Good luck with your house search. Are you renting at the moment as well? Yes you're right about moving being hell. It's so stressful.

How old are your DC? I think your eldest is a similar age to mine? And yes to the mentally winding down and needing them out the way. My DD's went to bed at 7.30 tonight and I was extremely twitchy! H had to make tea and it wasn't ready until 6.30!

I hope everyone else is well. I'm thinking of name changing soon as I think I've revealed far too much about myself recently! So if a random pops up on this thread it's me.

Asslamoalaikum everyone! Newbie here..... I'm 13wks pg with dc2. Already have a 3 yr old and have baaaaad morning sickness. Nice to see a Muslim tearoom, such a cute idea! So whereabouts does everyone live? I'm based near Croydon......

Walaikum asalaam PetiteMum, I'm glad you found us. It's a bit quiet at the moment so please help us keep the thread going!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Morning sickeness is horrendous isn't it, it'll pass soon inshallah.

I'm not in London, I'm in one of the Home Counties so not a million miles away. Are you a revert?

crescent it's really hard packing when you have nowhere to go, I've not got any motivation at all. In the past I've been excited about moving to a new house so had everything packed with 3 weeks to go! It will all come together inshallah.

I find the dog thing interesting. I think it's healthy for children to not be scared of animals. My H has a dog that he keeps in his parents garden. I always tell my H to keep the dog away from me, not because I'm scared but because last summer he ran at me and slobbed his nose all over my dress just before I was going to pray. So that left me unable to and I was furious (his sisters are half the size of me so couldn't borrow any clothes). I ended up going home to get changed!

I hope your children went to sleep ok last night!

No Am not, but am married to one! Indeed, I just want it to end.... Such a long journey, much prefer the stork idea when it comes to delivering babies! Hehe

Hmmm..... Dogs....... No help here, I am scared of them and have yet to meet one that didn't smell funny to me.......

Crescent, they are very open minded and his mum especially has a heart of gold. Can't say that about the extended family, but then we don't really see them much at all.... I feel quite lucky in this respect alhamdullilah? How about yourself, what's your background?

I am new too and need a bit of encouragement to keep going during Ramadhan. I am a bit geographically isolated from other muslims so am glad I have a place where I can check into occasionally.

Salaams

crescent the belly bandit seems ot be made out of slightly different material to the ebay one, it would be hard to tell which one would be best just form looking at the pictures, the reviews for belly bandit arent that great on amazon.

My mum tried ot get us to bind our stomachs post pregnancy as well, I couldnt deal with that, I wish I had but I could not put up with that along with all the other post partum healing processes.

Assalamualikum Raisah.