The Muslim Tearoom

[HardlyEverHoovers]

Salaams/peace to all! I'm already missing our old thread, so taking the bull by the horns and opening our very own Muslim Tearoom, all welcome (non-Muslims too of course), to chat, share, ask questions etc etc. Imagine a cosy cafe with floor cushions, tea and coffee of all kinds, and lovely cakes! Please join me!

[UmmSHI]

Fair enough butterfly. I'm glad that you have the patience to do so because I agree, the assumptions and prejudice need to be challenged by someone.

[GoshAnneGorilla]

Here's a report into British Muslim women's experience of Islamophobia:

tellmamauk.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/maybewearehated.pdf

I think Laurie's piece was long overdue, we know the Islamophobes don't care about Muslim women really.

[GoshAnneGorilla]

Also, this is a very succinct post on the latest bout of hysteria, all because of "an unnamed person in the Telegraph".

www.newstatesman.com/religion/2013/12/furore-over-mss-muslim-staff-policy-shows-islamophobia-problem

[GoshAnneGorilla]

Ohh Fox news...

I love this about Santa and Jesus being white: ideas.time.com/2013/12/18/jesus-wasnt-white-but-santa-definitely-is/

I do like the comments on that site, especially the one about children only sessions being for the "Lord of the Flies" element of the community .

[LostAtTheEndOfTheRainbow]

Salaam everyone

Long time no 'see'. Wow this thread is amazing MashAllah, I've got 5 months worth of posts to catch up on.

I've not been around due to a simple lack of internet problem since we moved house in September, not helped by having no signal on our mobiles at home.

I really am in awe of how knowledgeable you all are, my new years resolution is to increase my knowledge InshAllah.

I love reading about all the topics on here, but I've always said politics goes completely over my head, I still like reading about it though!

Sis crescent, you're a true inspiration and another thread like this wouldn't be the same without you. Same goes to sis fuzzy, sis defuse, sis hardly and sis peaceful as well (off the top of my head sorry if I've not mentioned any other regular posters).

I love reading about everyone's DC, and fuzzy that's wonderful about your DS alhamdulillah.

Crescent with regards to the potty training I too went down the no nappy at all route, each child is different though and I have friends whose DC have gone into pull ups first. I'm sure you have but have you tried a reward chart or something similar? Good luck, he'll get there InshAllah.

If another thread starts I'm going to try and be more active, my internet should be sorted by the new year InshAllah.

I try and steer clear of the threads like the m&s one but found myself getting drawn in, it made for interesting reading, some people are so ignorant!

I'm going to head off now, I'll be back soon, I think I will need this thread come January as it will be a year since my lovely father in law passed away. I cannot believe where the time has gone.

Take care sisters, I hope you all enjoy the holiday season

[LittleTulip]

Laughed at picking rice up with your eyes!!

Does this mean you're not going to be on the new thread if there's going to be one crescent?

So are any of you doing anything special tomorrow? I just got a big chicken which I'm gonna roast with all the trimmings for me and DH. We're having a family get together at the weekend, siblings, parents and kids and having roast lamb which I'm looking forward to! Won't be 'traditional' though but will be covered in an array of spices. Diet starts in jan...

[fuzzywuzzy]

I like doing roasts the English way...then smothering with gravy lol

I'm taking my girls and my neice to see Cinderella on boxing day and we're going to have lunch out inshallah.

I'm spending tomorrow either tidying or sleeping or might tidy a bit and sleep a bit.

Just want a tranquil few days before we all get back to the grindstone!

[fuzzywuzzy]

I onyl ever expect my girls to taste whats in front of them, DD1 had a terrible habit of lookign at food or even hearing the name of the dish and going 'No I don't eatthat' I insist everyone has a small taste, if you don't like then you dont eat it, she tends to taste and find she loves the food.

However I refuse to throw out food, if anyone has not finished their food and wants to throw it out, I tell them to do it with their own hands as I'm not explaining to Allah why I was ungrateful and wasted the food bestowed upon us. Tends to keep waste to a minimum. I also dish up smaller amounts I don't mind refilling plates two three times, but I ain't chucking it out.

[LostAtTheEndOfTheRainbow]

Tomorrow we go to my mums, we do christmas lunch and tea and then the same on Boxing Day with all my siblings and DN's.

I get ever more grateful for my mum each year. 5 years ago me and DH were served nut cutlets horrid things and couldn't eat the goose fat roasties, the next year it was olive oil roasties, then the next year she got us a separate halal chicken then this year she's gone and pulled out all the stops and got a halal turkey and made a non alcoholic christmas cake made with a halal certified brandy substitute that she scoured the net for. I love my mum!

This is only the second year we haven't 'done' christmas as I only reverted just under 2 years ago. I'm used to the no christmas decs but still find it weird not buying for my DC. I make up for it on eid though .

Fuzzy we struggle massively with waste in this house, I always make too much and throw out quite a bit. I try and blend and freeze a lot of it for DS but some meals aren't suitable for him. DD1 has never wasted anything, she clears her plate without fail every day. DD2 on the other hand is a food thrower and spits stuff out, she's nearly 4 but still behaves like a two year old. I'm definitely going to start saying about being ungrateful and having to explain it to Allah. She is really into the religion at the moment and tells everyone she meets she's a 'muzalim' and doesn't celebrate christmas. Yet she runs off singing 'we wish you a merry christmas' .

I really love the way you are with your girls fuzzy, mashallah. You come across as a great mum, may Allah reward you.

I'm interested to know what other reverts do for christmas?

[defuse]

I also have a hang-up about throwing food. Despite this, too much food still gets wasted at my home

Laughing at the rice thing...when we were little we were told that if you wasted even a grain of salt you would have to pick it up with your eyelashes

My own mum was quite strict with my sis and i growing up. What made me laugh was when the other day she pulled out some leaflets about positive parenting for me! . It is so true that my mum and the grandmother (nanu) of my kids are definitely not the same lady.

My mum was super strict, my kids' nanu is a big softie who tells me off for being too harsh with my kids - which i am so not!

[fuzzywuzzy]

Ah sis Crescent you beat me to it, I saw the following and thought it apt for today;

While Mary was praying in the temple, an angel in the form of a man appeared before her. Filled with terror, she tried to flee, praying: "'Verily! I seek refuge with the Most Beneficent (Allah) from you, if you do fear Allah.' (The angel) said: 'I am only a Messenger from your Lord, (to announce) to you the gift of a righteous son.' She said: 'How can l have a son, when no man has touched me, nor am I unchaste?' He said: 'So (it will be).' Your Lord said: 'That is easy for me (Allah): And (We wish) to appoint him as a sign to mankind and a mercy from Us (Allah), and it is a matter (already) decreed, (by Allah).'" (19:18-21)


Apparently my BIL is taking everyone out to dinner today, I've volunteered to stay and take care of the kids and all of a sudden every single child has decided they'll come to mine instead! I swear I'm so strict and grouchy but I accumulate little children wherever I go bizarrely!
We are having indian style meatballs with either roti or spaghetti depending on preference and chicken saag and rice. I'm not bothering with making anything sweet the house is filled to the rafters with chocolate tins!

Years ago when I first got divorced my youngest had to go live with my parents during the week as I worked full time and I remember my mum on the phone to me one night going, 'Well DD2 didn't eat any dinner, but don't you worry, she won't be hungry as she ate a box of jaffacakes'
My reply to that was 'Well of course the child won't eat dinner, she knows she's getting a box of blooming jaffacakes instead!' to this day I find it a great injustice, my mum still thinks she's right and at least the baby did not go to bed hungry!
Dd2 still treats my mums home as her own and will go thro her cupboards when we are there making lists of food she wants, my dad always has jaffacakes and ketchup in for her!
I'm really glad my girls are loved (even they will be toothless before twenty if I leave them with my mum).

[GoshAnneGorilla]

I'm smiling at everyone's tales of their mothers.

DD is staying at my DM's, as I'm due soon, Insha Allah, so need to be near my hospital. My mum (who isn't Muslim) has got her a halal turkey and alcohol free christmas pudding. I won't lie, I am missing my Mum's xmas dinner, but enjoying a bit of peace and quiet at the same time.

[peacefuloptimist]

Salamalaykum ladies

Hope you had a good time over the holidays. I totally agree with parents mellowing out with age. For years as a child my parents made no acknowledgment of Christmas as being different to any other day of the year but this year my mum made us a huge lunch. She didnt call it christmas lunch but it was sort of the North African version of it with a lamb roast, tabbouleh, molokeya and basbousah as dessert. My mum even bought a christmas present for our neighbour. Though she didnt call it that. Anyway at this rate I wouldnt be surprised if she gets a tree in a couple of years. I think the problem is for some people they cant separate Christmas from its religious roots.

Was just wondering if we are starting a new thread what should we call it? I prefer the idea of one thread. I like the fact I can catch up with past conversations. With multiple threads there's too much risk of me missing something. I tend to drift in and out of mumsnet. I like the way we can talk about really mundane things here too like tv shows about muslims, food, parenting etc as well as the more serious stuff. It would be too much effort to start a thread every time we wanted to change the topic. Its nice catching up with everyone on the thread too. I would miss you all too much if I didnt have this one central spot to find you all. We need to think of names though for our new thread any ideas?

Batten down the hatches...Muslim Chat Thread 3
The Mozlamics
The Shisha Lounge (just kidding)

I like the idea of giving it a name to do with going to a spa, or a health clinic as I feel it is a bit therapeutic chatting to you all. Cant wait to hear your ideas. They cant be as bad as mine.

[UmmSHI]

Salam everyone, I also enjoyed a kind of christmas with my non muslim relatives. I tell my children that they are helping them to celebrate christmas, and that when eid comes, we will ask them to help us celebrate that.

I really hope there will be another thread, can't think of a name though, sorry.

[GoshAnneGorilla]

I think the Muslim Tearoom, is fine. It makes me smile when I see it referred to elsewhere on MN.

[LittleTulip]

Ha shisha lounge

What is it with all these shisha lounges that have cropped up anyway? There wasn't anything like this a few years ago was there or was I just missing it? All my cousins seem to be smoking it nowadays. I went with a group of about 20 of us, cousins brother sister etc after a wedding and well I was amazed! Plus the milkshakes were extortionate not for me anyway! I must be a boring sod.

I don't care what the new thread is called (quite like Muzlamics ) however agree it should be one thread rather than multiple. I also like catching up and reading about different topics in one place.

Now can you all share your roast lamb recipes? My mum wants to experiment tomorrow! I'm in charge of the veg so nice and easy.

[defuse]

I quite like muslim tea room (2?) for the same reasons as gosh mentioned - have seen references to it on other threads, so even for dawah/welcoming purposes, it may be an idea to stick with it. I would like to see a good (easy) roast lamb recipe too.

[worldcitizen]

Hello everyone, I am seeing some names which are so familiar to me and I didn't know where else to post, so hope you all could help me ut or lead me into the right direction, hopefully

I have 2 questions:

A long while ago, there was a thread about relationships, domestic violence or conflict in a marriage or something along those lines and someone posted a link (not so sure anymore) where it specified de-eskalation, mediation etc "the Muslim way" it looked like great advice. It seemed to be very professional (SW or counselling) and evidence-based. I hope I am able to explain well what I mean?

Does someone here know what I mean and could help me to find that again. I tried google, but wasn't successful.

And the second questions is a little bit more complicated...please bear with me

I am looking for help in regards to some contacts with social work/counselling/police units (specifically dealing with hate crimes (against Muslims), domestic violence in Muslim families, interreligious community groups etc., in London, where we ( a group of 3-4 people) could meet in April for a few hours.
We are in London (Hendon) at that time and we would be looking to meet for a professional exchange.

I wold like to elaborate more, but am not sure, if this would be the right place, so better keep it to a minimum as of now...

I am saying thank you in advance for your help and guidance.

[craftysewer]

I have just spent the last few days reading all of this thread and can I just say I have never met such a nice group of ladies. I am not a muslim, but am always interested in other peoples religions. What stands out to me, reading this, is what a comfort your religion is to you all. I love hearing about your children and how you support each other. I do hope you start a new thread.

[peacefuloptimist]

Peace be upon you (salams)

Crafty, Im so glad that you enjoyed the thread and managed to read through the whole thing! I havent managed to do that yet. Your comment about the religion being a comfort to us made me smile. Im happy that came across as sometimes I feel like muslim women's faith in their religion is not taken seriously. What I mean is when muslim men adhere to the religion and express their faith its never questioned that this is a legitimate choice made of their own free will but for muslim women it's sort of doubted that you have freely made that choice to practice your faith. So Im happy that it was conveyed that Islam can be just as much a thing of beauty, peace, solace and comfort for women as it is for men. I also like the updates on people's kids. Its nice to know we all face the same sorts of trials being mothers. I hope that the thread continues too and hopefully now Ive ended it someone else will start the next one off. Muslim tearoom part 2 anyone? .

Worldcitizen (love the name by the way) I do recall the thread you mentioned but cant remember the exact piece of advice you are referring to. Maybe if you bring it up again in the next thread (if there is one) someone can direct you to the link you wanted. As for charities and groups working on community and family issues I know of a few but I couldnt give you the links to specific contacts.

tellmamauk.org/ Is a group set up to monitor anti-muslim prejudice and hate crimes against muslims

nour-dv.org.uk/ Is a Muslim Domestic violence charity

www.wewillinspire.com/ is a charity that works with women within the community. I dont know what they are involved in specifically but have read about them in the news before.

www.solaceuk.org/ I could give you a contact for someone who works for this charity but will have to pm you. They specifically work with muslim women converts to provide them with assistance and that can involve help with lots of different kinds of problems.

Islamic human rights commission is also a great charity that campaigns for justice for all peoples regardless of their racial, religious or political background.

Hope that helps. As far as I know they are all based in London (with the possible exception being tellmama) so Im sure if there is enough interest and with notice you could arrange a meeting with them.

Sisters, I am sad to say goodbye to you all on this thread. We had some great conversations and lots of laughs together. But Im looking forward to seeing you all again on the next thread. Inshallah (God willing)

Fee amanillah. (I leave you in the care of God)