To not want to be a Muslim

[Lostagain]

Ok so I am a Muslim, have 2 dd and married dh is a convert to Islam....
Anyway from a young age I have had a strong pull towards Christianity or aspects of it. I don't believe Jesus is the son of god, but do believe he will return again etc.
Is it a cultural thing? I was born and brought up in the uk, went to a cofe school for a few years then we went to a inner city which was full of Asians- I am Asian but it was horrible, I hated it. Despite this I still sang on the school choir, certain people were horrified at the time, but my mum supported me. In my teens i went a bit religion mad and started wearing a headscarf etc- didn't last long,
i love Christmas and Easter, I sing hymms when I'm washing up i've been to a few church's in my time, funerals weddings etc and to be honest it's so peaceful there.
I have been to mosques it was ok,actually I couldn't wait to get out of there....Maybe it's a language barrier
I haven't spoken to anyone about this as it is such a big thing -changed my name on mn but sometimes I just don't want to be a Muslim. I want to bring up my children with faith and I struggle to explain the Muslim faith.

I'm sure there is the odd sentence in the above which makes sense :)

I think that culture disempowers people rather than religion. Certainly women's rights were only marginally better in the UK until the 20th Century.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."niv.scripturetext.com/galatians/3.htm

I have no idea if the Quoran has similar passages.

Yet its taken almost 2000 years for this passage to be put into effect. Its appauling to think that it took until 1991 for it to be made illegal for a husband to rape his wife in the UK.

legaldecisions.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/does-husband-have-marital-right-to-rape.html

Even nowadays women cannot become bishops within the church of England.

We have a better time than our sisters in the middle east but equality doesn't completely exist in the UK.

Empowers women,

My experience when younger I wore a headscarf, it empowered me at the time because it made me different, I stood out...after a few years of this I thought wtf, this isnt why you cover from head to toe and abandoned it, felt much better.

But I would be interested in how islam empowers women in today's world?

no cote - there is so much more to islam and being a woman, than a garment that many can't look past. The hijab or the niqab is a woman's right to wear or not to wear. For some it may be a personal spiritual choice and to others it will be a political statement. To some it will be exercising their right to wear what they want to wear.

Islam in the 'traditional asian' cultures in UK - when a woman/girl learns about islam, what does it show her? she realises that she can demand the right to education, to a marriage of her choice, to security, to be looked after, to be honoured. She realises that the shackles are all culture and she can be a true individual. That she doesn't have to resign herself to other people's whims and desires.

Islam in the western cultures - with all the great work on women's rights that exist in the west, in everyday life (media, adverts, sports, school) girls/women are bombarded by messages that objectify them. Islam shows women that they are not objects. They never have to put themselves through the rituals to objectify themselves even further. They do not have to put themselves in front of others for their gratification. They have ownership of their own body.

When they marry, they still own their name - they do not become Mrs so and so by default! They are not a property of their husband, in fact they are not to be known as mrs abc, they still have the name they did before marriage. That in itself is a powerful statement. Islam makes small but extremely powerful statements - hijab also being one of them! :)

These are just a few overt examples that I have given. Islam is truly about your inner self - striving to be a better human and piety. Your pondering, yorr self-awareness, your acknowledgement and your focus is to always on the truth.

Its ironic that the UK has far better human rights than the majority of middle eastern countries. I can see that the hijab is liberating because you can wear it freely in the UK. Is it liberating in Iraq or Algeria or Pakistan or Afganistan?

"Islam in the 'traditional asian' cultures in UK - when a woman/girl learns about islam, what does it show her? she realises that she can demand the right to education, to a marriage of her choice, to security, to be looked after, to be honoured. She realises that the shackles are all culture and she can be a true individual. That she doesn't have to resign herself to other people's whims and desires."

Yet many islamic countries severely restrict the right of girls to go to school. I suppose its a vicous circle, you need an education to read the quoran, yet girls are often denied an education. Maybe the mullahs are scared if the people really could understand the quoran as opposed to recite it.

"she realises that she can demand the right to education, to a marriage of her choice, to security, to be looked after, to be honoured. She realises that the shackles are all culture and she can be a true individual. That she doesn't have to resign herself to other people's whims and desires."

Isn't that just life in the UK whether you follow Islam or not?

Really tired - You're making the very common mistake of assuming that Muslim majority countries exist in a vacuum. Pan-Arabism, post-colonialism, modern day colonialism (IMF and US imperialism) all these things have a huge impact.

juule yes, to you, it is life in UK, but to a lot of others, despite being in UK, it is not a life that is offered to them and there are other issues involved - many to do with identity amongst others. Life as it is in the UK, is not enough of a motivation for these women but islam provides them with the motivation required and gives them the strength to make these massive changes and demands. Believe you me, it is not easy to do, but islam gives them the confidence to do it and islam gives them the power to challenge their community and that is why it is hugely liberating for women.

I think the assumption about life being better for wome in the UK than in the arab world is an assumption which many people make. i remember when I first put on my hijab and my aunty cried "Women in the middle east are fighting to remove it and you want to wear it!!!"

I am currently living in the arab world and have been very pleasantly surprised. Women are very strong here, and and are viewed as an equal in the workplace. The saying "behind every successful man is a woman" is frequently quoted!

Islam came to give rights to women that have been previously denied. It was only in the last hundred years or so that the church even acknowledged that a woman had a soul. More than 1400 years ago women in islam were given the right to be a person (she will always be attributed to her father, not her husband hence does not take his name) the right to vote, the right to inherit, the right to be educated etc etc.

Islam is the fastest growing religion and the overwhelming majority of converts are women; if they felt so oppressed they'd hardly be doing it.

There is a lot of media talk about muslim countries (namely Afghanistan) denying girls the right to be educated. This obviously is against islam, I'm not denying it doesn't happe but I do believe and have been told by Afghani's (studying in the west) that it is grossly exaggerated.

There will always be strong women in even the most misogynistic environments. It doesn't mean those environments should be given credit for "empowering" them.

"common mistake of assuming that Muslim majority countries exist in a vacuum. Pan-Arabism, post-colonialism, colonialism all these things have a huge impact"

Err some of us have actually read the Quran and know that blaming outside factors is a red herring - Quran says women can be slapped (not too strongly ) and should be obedient to the men in their live, for example. Not terribly liberating for the Western woman, who has the right not to be slapped and not to obey any man And all this before you even get to the whole covering up, segregating, and hiding from view aspect.

"overwhelming majority of converts are women; if they felt so oppressed they'd hardly be doing it."

In a world where 50 Shades Of Grey is a chick-lit Bestseller, you don't need me to tell you that there are complex psychological needs in play there.

I remember my dad once hitting my mum I was about 9, fast forward 10 years, having an argument regarding arrange marriage to a first cousin also from the uk, I confronted my dad about hitting my mum and he screamed that it was his right, it says so in the quran, This comment put me off marrying anyone Muslim.

I agree with other posts culture has a huge part to play.

Muslim men or the ones I've known spout Islam say this and that to justify their own actions. I remember once my uncle saying about me studying-but you will be working with men.

there is culture hidden away from the western world, behind closed doors, no ones talks about it.

I had to fight to leave, I left to go to uni at the age of 20, I'm now in my 30's and will never stay at my parenst home for more than a night. We get on fine now, but I was the black sheep in the family.

Btw it was the best thing I did, I count myself lucky, I'm sure there are many other Muslim Asian who are in similar positions but dared not do what I did...oh the shame.....

I agree crescent you choose what is expected of you, it makes life easier, in some Asian cultures it's the done thing-no arguments and it's also taught at a young age of what is expected, as a girl learn to cook and clean then get married and look after dh and the in laws, dont bring shame on your family etc

Can you talk about shame a bit later?

First I'd like someone to explain how they feel Islam empowers and liberates women.

I feel liberated by the fact that I'm not marketed and abused like a piece of meat on western billboards for a start.

I feel liberated that my body is my own business, not a leering builders, or the guys across the road.

I feel liberated that a muslim husband is legally responsible for providing for his wife and family ans therefore I do not have to work a day in my life if I choose not to.

I feel liberated to be a muslim woman basically. And if you don't like it or don't agree with it, please tell someone who cares [grins] I do enjoy when people try to put me down or to belittle the way I live my life...

ohh yeah, I also like the fact people are forced to judge my intelligence rather than my tits or how good my face looks. That's the real liberation.

verytired I agree with you, many men use and twist the religion to suit their own agendas.

I recently read Naima B Roberts book From My Sisters Lips and I found it inspiring. iF you get a chance to read that you may feel more positive about Islam. Also worth looking at thequeensofislam.blogspot.co.uk/p/for-soul.html

Take care sister

I recently read Naima B Roberts book From My Sisters Lips and I found it inspiring. iF you get a chance to read that you may feel more positive about Islam. Also worth looking at thequeensofislam.blogspot.co.uk/p/for-soul.html

Take care sister

From My Sisters Lips

brilliant book mashaallah

Well, our bodies are only our business too and not many of us are on billboards so not sure how you would be less free or less empowered if you weren't Muslim.

I'm particularly interested in how empowered & liberated you feel re Quran saying you can be slapped and you should be obedient to the men in your life. And how your testimony is only worth half of a man's testimony in court etc.