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Original poster

I had to take our family rescue dog back to the rescue after 5 years

129 replies

Rara123jam · 13/10/2019 20:01

Sorry about the length of this I just need to get it out noone seems to understand how I am feeling .I took our dog back to the rescue last week after 5 years and I'm absolutely broken ! My kids ds (9) and dd(6) are coping so much better then me . I know I have done the right thing . Since becoming a single mum earlier this year and having to work, I just didnt have enough time for him anymore and he (fluffy) was on his own to much and wasnt getting enough attetion or walks.
I feel so guilty and worried for him. How scared he must be. He was my best friend like my 3rd child and my shadow when we were togethor. I miss him so much I'm so worried he will be left at the rescue without a new family for ages.
My friends think im overreacting and tell me I need to just get on with it. I dont really no what i want from this thread, I suppose just someone who understands and has any advice
But please no negativity I already feel rubbish enough 😭

OP posts:
FrivolousPancake · 13/10/2019 22:55

Yikes OP.
Weirdly enough I had some real guilt tidal as I had to work a long day unexpectedly and my ddog was alone. I’m also a single mum.

There’s no way that my ddog would find a better home or more love if I gave him up though. I have volunteered in many shelters and the truth is very bleak.

There was surely other options?
I’d be worried it’s showing your DC that animals are disposable.

I would rethink this if I were you.

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/10/2019 23:04

I'm not being nasty either but my sympathy is firmly with that poor dog. One of the family my arse. I'm the owner of a rescue dog and was her fourth owner when she was only a year old. The previous three owners had all brought her back because they couldn't cope with her (hyper breed) and or changes of circumstances. Took me a year to undo the damage, it was awful she was so untrusting and as she wouldn't bond (understandably) was almost impossible to train. Not exaggerating when l say almost cost me my marriage and sanity but no way was l going to abandon her, not a chance. She still has her moments but is a joy now.

IdiotInDisguise · 13/10/2019 23:06

Honestly people, many times when you are struggling to survive as a single parent you can not afford a bloody dog walker, even if you stop feeding your kids.

OP, it takes much love to let a beloved pet go, you put Fluffy first. I also had to let one of my dogs go when I became a single parent, and it was bad. The little thing had been my “baby” for much longer than my son.

So this old lady got her, and for a long time she kept sending these beautiful letters about all the things they were doing together in their “retirement”. She used to take her everywhere, even in holiday while at home she was just sitting in the kitchen all day when I had to start working full time.

Looking at the happy existence she had with the lady, the only thing I regretted was not letting her go sooner.

Wheat2Harvest · 13/10/2019 23:08

I don’t know how you could have done that, you don’t just give a dog up because you don’t have time

Yes, you do. That slogan 'a dog is for life' must cause so much grief and guilt to people who want or need to give up a dog. There is nothing wrong with giving up a dog if you can't afford to keep it or your circumstances change or you just decide one day that you hate it.

The dog won't be bothered as long as it is fed, watered and taken for walks.

UterusesBeforeDuderuses · 13/10/2019 23:08

I feel really awful for your circumstances OP, that must be seriously hard, but calling the dog your best friend and 3rd child is laughable. If times were tough would you cut off your best friend because you didn't have time for them, or would you adopt out one of your children because you weren't paying them as much attention? Of course not. I believe that if you truly don't think you can look after the dog properly, then hopefully it will find someone who can, but don't start calling it all these things like 3rd child when clearly it 'just another dog'

FurnitureAndBackgammon · 13/10/2019 23:14

The dog won't be bothered as long as it is fed, watered and taken for walks

You clearly know nothing about dogs.

There is nothing wrong with giving up a dog if you can't afford to keep it or your circumstances change or you just decide one day that you hate it.

Decide one day you hate it?? Jesus Christ, you're a charmer aren't you? Hmm

tabulahrasa · 13/10/2019 23:33

“The posters who say they are sure the dog will find another family, how can you possibly know that?”

It’s a healthy dog, no behavioural issues that’s been living with children... the chances are fairly high that he’ll be rehomed very quickly.

Oh and the OP can’t go get her dog back, once a dog is signed over it no longer belongs to the owner.

dreichsky · 13/10/2019 23:35

If OP doesn't have the time and money she doesn't have it.
She hasn't put the dog on the streets. She also isn't the one who has skipped out.

adaline · 14/10/2019 06:54

The dog won't be bothered as long as it is fed, watered and taken for walks.

Dogs need so, so much more than that. Have you seen the programme on Channel 4 about Wood Green rescue centre? A couple of weeks ago there was a little old dog on there whose previous owner had sadly passed and the poor dog just shut down. She barely ate, went on walks but never wagged her tail or was happy. Luckily she was rehomed with a lovely old man in the end so she had her happy ending but it's not like that for all of them.

Rescue centres are busy and overcrowded and the reality is most dogs spend their time in concrete pens that they often use as their toilet as they don't get enough chance to go outside. A dog will get far more interaction and human company in a home where the owner is at work than it will in a rescue.

Dogs need company and stimulation and love. They need a home and not all dogs returned to rescue get another chance at finding that.

SprinkleDash · 14/10/2019 07:25

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Original poster
Rara123jam · 14/10/2019 07:35

@SprinkleDash how can you say I done it for my benefit! What benefit have I got from it

OP posts:
Thoughtlessinengland · 14/10/2019 07:42

The dog won't be bothered as long as it is fed, watered and taken for walks.

Whut?

SaskiaRembrandt · 14/10/2019 07:59

FWIW - we rehomed our cat as an adult. She has issues which made her hard to place, and a health condition which insurance won't cover (preexisting) so on paper no one should have wanted her, but we did. She's well loved, quite spoilt in fact. I'm very grateful to the family who gave her up when they couldn't care for her because she brings us so much love and happiness.

Hard as it is for some to believe, there are people who want to give a home to something other than a healthy, young animal.

Hazza000 · 14/10/2019 07:59

So many frankly nasty rebukes on here. Try and contain yourselves keyboard warriors. OP made a difficult decision her only mistake was posting it on here to open up the floodgates of abuse.

MarthasGinYard · 14/10/2019 08:02

Please don't have another one even if life changes.

And I'm no warrior I'd say that to you in RL.

fernandoanddenise · 14/10/2019 08:03

Load of twats on this thread.

Hoppinggreen · 14/10/2019 08:08

Well you are benefitting from not having to take the dog for walks or spend any money on it
It’s done now and hopefully the dog will find a lovely new home soon, I don’t know what you were expecting from posting this on here? People telling you you’ve done the right thing? You’ve had a few of those but if you want that reassurance you are also going to have to accept the not so supportive posts as well.

catlady3 · 14/10/2019 08:18

So sorry OP, I don't even want to think about having to give up my cats, I struggle being apart from them if I go away for a weekend (yes, I'm THAT sad), and dogs are probably even more connected to their owners so this can't have been easy at all.

Dogs need more than a walk a day, some breeds are very very active, social, they need stimulation etc. or they'll get aggressive / ill. Just something to consider before judging OP with little knowledge of the situation.

Missillusioned · 14/10/2019 08:33

And this is why dogs should not be kept as pets in the numbers they are today.
Very, very few people can guarantee that they will be able to provide a stable, suitable home for a dog for the next 15 years. Your life can change so much. Redundancy, relationship breakdown, I'll health are all things that can make a previously suitable living arrangement no longer possible.

Dogs are expensive and time consuming and should not be seen as something regular people have. Many, many people who think they are animal lovers cannot care for their dog properly. The demand for dogs as pets fuels a cruel and wasteful breeding industry where many dogs suffer so a few people can have a pet.

Rather than berate the OP it might be worth looking at the trend that has normalised the keeping of dogs as pets that has led to this situation.

rookiemere · 14/10/2019 08:37

OP it's done now whatever is said here.

The best thing you can do is try to help Fluffy to get a new loving home as quickly as possible and I think posting details here could really help to spread the word.

Clayplease · 14/10/2019 09:16

@SprinkleDash can I just ask, do you eat meat or animal products? If so, what they do routinely to animals in the production of these 'products' is hell compared to leaving a much loved dog in a shelter where at least it has a chance of a happy life. Maybe you don't of course, just asking.

ForTheTimeBeing · 14/10/2019 09:27

@Clayplease you can't justify one wrongdoing by comparing it to another unrelated one. Is thieving alright because murder is worse? And by the way, I agree that factory farming is unspeakable cruelty.

cavendish4 · 14/10/2019 09:33

I work in this industry, unfortunately when people like yourselves do this a lot of the dogs do not get rehomed and some get PTS due to excess of dogs.

This was an awful decision, you've not done the right thing. You could have advertised the dog for adoption or contacted the shelter to do so but let it live with you like a foster until that became available. Please never own a dog again.

Clayplease · 14/10/2019 09:40

@ForTheTimeBeing
I'm making the point that Sprinkledash was being quite unpleasant about the OP's decision, when actually she/he may be paying for far worse things to be done to animals, I think that is relevant. I'm not advocating any of it.

MarthasGinYard · 14/10/2019 09:50

Sprinkle is probably bang on

As pp suggests there were kinder ways to go about this.