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Original poster

I had to take our family rescue dog back to the rescue after 5 years

129 replies

Rara123jam · 13/10/2019 20:01

Sorry about the length of this I just need to get it out noone seems to understand how I am feeling .I took our dog back to the rescue last week after 5 years and I'm absolutely broken ! My kids ds (9) and dd(6) are coping so much better then me . I know I have done the right thing . Since becoming a single mum earlier this year and having to work, I just didnt have enough time for him anymore and he (fluffy) was on his own to much and wasnt getting enough attetion or walks.
I feel so guilty and worried for him. How scared he must be. He was my best friend like my 3rd child and my shadow when we were togethor. I miss him so much I'm so worried he will be left at the rescue without a new family for ages.
My friends think im overreacting and tell me I need to just get on with it. I dont really no what i want from this thread, I suppose just someone who understands and has any advice
But please no negativity I already feel rubbish enough 😭

OP posts:

adaline · 13/10/2019 21:31

I don't think it's bitchiness in this case.

People are very invested when it comes to animals and don't like the idea of a loved family pet being relegated to rescue. Rescues are already full to bursting and the likelihood of an old dog being rehomed is unfortunately pretty small.

TV shows like to project a really rosy view of life in rescue and how all the dogs get lovely new homes but in reality it's not like that. We have animals in our local rescue who have been there for several because nobody wants an animal with health conditions or that's elderly or that has special requirements.

Clarinet53 · 13/10/2019 21:31

OP I can completely understand why you made your decision. I have found myself in a similar position this year. I have 2 labs and their care is another thing on my list and I feel terrible that I can't give them what they're used to. You have made a had choice which works for you in the circumstances. Neither way was going to be easy on the dog

MyOtherProfile · 13/10/2019 21:33

Clearly the OP does too @VenusTiger hence coming on here heartbroken.

FurnitureAndBackgammon · 13/10/2019 21:38

Where's the compassion for someone in a tough situation?

Where's the compassion for a poor innocent dog taken away from his home and stuck in a rescue for probably months before he's rehomed, if ever? Yes we all feel for the Op, it's a horrible position to be in but I think she's made the wrong decision. The dog would be better on his own at his own home.

Savingforarainyday · 13/10/2019 21:42

Awwww, OP

It is really tough, being in that situation.
Are you able to get an update when he gets rehomed?

Original poster

Rara123jam · 13/10/2019 21:44

thankyou to everyone who has been supportive and to those who say the negative things don't u think I have thought of all of that and its still going through my head right now ! its a horrible thing I had to do and I would love to have him back of course I would ! but right now it just isn't fair on him... yes I no him being there isn't good either . but the people at the rescue are brilliant and they will do whatever they can for him and much more then I can.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rara123jam · 13/10/2019 21:46

he is a pointer cross and im going to hopefully message the rescue on Wednesday when they are open again to get a update and ask for any future updates

OP posts:

Beautiful3 · 13/10/2019 21:49

If you genuinely couldn't afford to keep them, then you did the right thing. It is a shame, I bet you miss your dog alot.

Greggers2017 · 13/10/2019 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BeardedMum · 13/10/2019 21:53

Personally I think if you take on the responsibility of caring for an animal it’s for the life of that animal. I can only think of a few very exceptional circumstances like allergies developing in the family there is no other way. I keep reading on MN about pets being given to rescues because of changing life circumstances, but we all know circumstances change. I think too many people take on pets without making a proper life long commitment to that animal.

rookiemere · 13/10/2019 21:55

I think it's a shame that there isn't a charity that could have offered you the support you need to keep him. Cheaper surely to pay for the vaccines and get some volunteer walkers, than put another dog in a rescue.

OP one really positive thing you could do for your dog is post his details from the rescue here. I'm sure someone here would want to offer him a home and it's useful to know that it's purely your finances and time that are the issue, not behaviour problems.

ForTheTimeBeing · 13/10/2019 21:56

I also think your dog would have been much happier staying in his home. Stop wailing about losing your 'best friend' and 'third child' OP, your actions don't match your words.

Miranda15110 · 13/10/2019 21:57

I love dogs and have dogs of my own and I promise you that you did the right and responsible thing. It is much kinder to recognise that you can't provide the exercise and attention required as well as the implications of not being able to afford veterinary issues. He will find another family I'm sure x

bluetue · 13/10/2019 21:57

I think you have made the wrong decision.

A pet is for life. He must be so scared right now.

MondeoFan · 13/10/2019 21:58

This has made me sad. Imagine being from a rescue then going back to the rescue after 5 years?
I know you've thought it all through but surely must be another way

Wereeaglesdare · 13/10/2019 22:00

OP please go back and get your dog. He will be so happy to see you. You can turn everything around. Tell the rescue that you cannot bare to be without him and enquire about any help they may be able to give you in future. Some rescue shelters will help with vet care because it cost them alot more to have a dog to feed and walk and shelter for years.

He is six I don't mean to sound horrible but a six year old dog is not what people think of when adopting. OK so walks aren't great but can't you and your children use this as a reason to go and do fun walks without spending the pennies. Can your ex not help with the dog and you share custody. He might be willing to take the dog on.

I implore you to go and get your friend back. If homeless people can manage having a dog then u can too. He will be forever greatful. Dogs are like angels without wings. They are the kindest loyalist souls you will ever meet. You go back and bring him home. As your children get older you can share the responsibility

babycatcher411 · 13/10/2019 22:00

Where are all the people judging the ex partner who isn’t taking his half of the workload?
Given that dogs are just like children 🤔 then he should be doing his fair share.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 13/10/2019 22:02

The posters who say they are sure the dog will find another family, how can you possibly know that?

Evenstar · 13/10/2019 22:04

I have just rehomed a ten month old puppy from a rescue, the same thing happened to his owner. I think some of the judgemental people should think that 2 adults made the decision to give this poor dog a home and one of those adults chose to let down not just the dog but his wife and children. The OP didn’t ask to be put in this position.

EstuaryBird · 13/10/2019 22:30

I honestly can’t believe I’ve just read some of these devastatingly horrible comments on here, Some are worded specifically to make the OP feel even worse than she already does...poor dog, scared, confused, alone etc. I’m stunned by the sheer nastiness.

I think some of you would prefer it if she kept the dog and put her children up for adoption.

OP, you did what you had to do. Your life has been turned upside down and it must be so hard to get to grips with your new circumstances. You didn’t dump the dog or give him away to who knows who...you took the only responsible course of action available to you.

I wish you well.

VenusTiger · 13/10/2019 22:31

Sorry OP but I honestly and truly believe animals have feelings, much like ours. He will be heartbroken as are you, but difference is, you know why you had to do it. He doesn’t.
Can’t you have him back? Could you ask a friend to pretend they’re adopting him if rescue centre won’t return him to you.
Please think harder on this. He’s your friend you said.

Hollywhiskey · 13/10/2019 22:38

We got our cats from a rescue after their old owner gave them up - her child was allergic to them. We're grateful to her because we adore the cats and I believe they have an excellent home with us.

frankie246 · 13/10/2019 22:41

What a poor example to set to your children. Pets are part of the family, not to be got rid of when it suits you. The dog would of been happier with you whatever than now stuck in a kennel missing it's family. Dogs are a loyal animal.

awishes · 13/10/2019 22:47

Ask the rescue for the dog back! You must have time in your day for 3 walks. Apart from anything else the dog will be good for your emotional health and the children's.
How do they feel about losing him/her?

FurnitureAndBackgammon · 13/10/2019 22:50

I’m stunned by the sheer nastiness

It's not nastiness, it's the truth.

Op came on here in the hope that everyone would tell her she's done the right thing, poor her etc etc. Well sorry but I don't think she's done the right thing. There are hundreds of dogs in rescue centres all over the country needing homes. Hell, some of them are even put down because there are too many. Her situation has changed yes but I'm sure in time she could work it all out.

Out of interest, OP, did you ask your ex if he could have the dog?

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