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Original poster

I had to take our family rescue dog back to the rescue after 5 years

129 replies

Rara123jam · 13/10/2019 20:01

Sorry about the length of this I just need to get it out noone seems to understand how I am feeling .I took our dog back to the rescue last week after 5 years and I'm absolutely broken ! My kids ds (9) and dd(6) are coping so much better then me . I know I have done the right thing . Since becoming a single mum earlier this year and having to work, I just didnt have enough time for him anymore and he (fluffy) was on his own to much and wasnt getting enough attetion or walks.
I feel so guilty and worried for him. How scared he must be. He was my best friend like my 3rd child and my shadow when we were togethor. I miss him so much I'm so worried he will be left at the rescue without a new family for ages.
My friends think im overreacting and tell me I need to just get on with it. I dont really no what i want from this thread, I suppose just someone who understands and has any advice
But please no negativity I already feel rubbish enough 😭

OP posts:
BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 13/10/2019 21:03

The dog would have been far happier in its home not getting regular walks than shoved in a rescue taken from its home and family.

isadoradancing123 · 13/10/2019 21:03

Hard not to judge you but he would have been fine on his own while you worked, you must have been home sometimes if you have children

Nubbin · 13/10/2019 21:03

He is 6? Is there no way to bring him home - what has actually changed on a day to day level. At 6 he can stay home alone with a decent early walk for an hour and then a late.
Kids coming home at 3-4 can take him out for an hour to keep him going on. Unless you were stay at home before struggling to see what has changed to give up a '3rd child'.

twoheaped · 13/10/2019 21:04

Oh gosh, poor dog.
I do hope he gets rehomed.

Itallt0omuch · 13/10/2019 21:06

Does it sound like the op has time to walk the dog for an hour every day? She's a single parent dealing with a relationship breakdown and she already feels shit about it.

Op you've realised you can't meet his needs. There's no shame in giving him up to find a home where his new owners can. I couldn't fathom giving up my pet but I am very very lucky in that I've never been in the position where I've had to contemplate it.

Original poster
Rara123jam · 13/10/2019 21:07

no I didn't mention that I am struggling with money and couldn't afford everything he needed right now but that is true but was not my main reason for doing it

OP posts:
ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 13/10/2019 21:08

If he find new owners.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 13/10/2019 21:08

I missed a can there.

Catzpyjamas · 13/10/2019 21:12

OP, I think you have done the right thing given the circumstances, for you and the dog.
Yes, it's sad that the dog has lost his home but in the long term it may be better for him to find a new family who has time and money to spend on him. At 6 years old and with a history as a family pet, he should be relatively easy to rehome.
I hope things improve for you soon.

Cohle · 13/10/2019 21:13

I don't think sticking the boot in is particularly helpful, but given the main issue was time I do personally think a dog would be happier being left home alone a lot than being in a shelter for possibly years.

Perpetuallyperplexed27 · 13/10/2019 21:13

So sorry for the negative horrible comments you've received op. There are some real arseholes on here who just love to kick people when they're down.
Your entire life has changed and I'm sure you didn't make this decision lightly. Yes it's very very sad but you've done it with the intention of your dog going to a home where people will have the time and money he deserves for a happy life. Please remember that and stop beating yourself up.
For the posters who have undoubtably made the op feel even worse, I really hope none of you ever experience unforeseen events that mean your life isn't as easy as it once was. None of us know what's around the corner and sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to just to get by.

riotlady · 13/10/2019 21:15

@Nubbin “struggling to see what has changed”? She’s become a single parent!

The OP is in a tough situation and has done what she thought was for the best. Berating her about it is pretty heartless.

Sorry you’ve gone through this, OP. Flowers

Veterinari · 13/10/2019 21:16

6 can be pretty old for a large breed dog. Was it a breed specific rescue?

FurnitureAndBackgammon · 13/10/2019 21:18

The dog would have been far happier in its home not getting regular walks than shoved in a rescue taken from its home and family.

This ^

I don't believe that you don't have 20 mins in your day to walk the poor thing. As for attention, surely you can make your children play with him for 10 mins every day?
So he's at home all day while your at work, so what? So are thousands of other dogs -better that than being in a rescue crying to come home and not understanding where his family has gone 😢

BarbarAnna · 13/10/2019 21:19

I am so sorry to hear that you have had to make this tough decision.

I do think people have a very rosy view of the prospects of rescue dogs though. It is not uncommon for dogs to be in rescue for years. If people can adopt a rescue rather than get a puppy, please consider it.

princessTiasmum · 13/10/2019 21:22

I am sorry you have had to put your poor dog back in kennels,i hope he finds a good home soon ,dogs grieve too when they are left
My little dog died in August, but when i got her from a couple who brought her to me she cried at the door for 2 days,i was heartbroken for her, and never realized before that was how a dog would react
She had a good life with me, but not long enough i would have had her 4 years this month,and miss her so much
Is there no way you could have her him ,back maybe someone to call and let her/him out once a day etc

Clayplease · 13/10/2019 21:22

Well said @FoodWoes

Obviously it was a really tough decision 😢 feel really bad for you as seems like you are just trying to do the best thing in a difficult situation, even if tough for you. Hope it gets easier ❤️

Nubbin · 13/10/2019 21:23

Nope - you wanted one - you deal or admit it isn't a '3rd child' it was a nice to have. We have a dog - since getting him many things have changed and continue to do so - extinction rebellion protestors = 12 hour shifts = me and kids taking dog out pre school to tire him out, grandad getting a hernia = no afternoon walk and us putting an alternative in place with a mix of borrow my doggy, paying next door neighbours teenager, getting up earlier to do 2 hours to last him out. At 6 they are not a young dog - understand the OP feels they are in a place they have no choice - my view is like children don't enter into it unless you are there for the long haul regardless.

Getoffmylilo · 13/10/2019 21:23

OP - if this was reversed and you'd gone to rehome a dog this week and described your current circumstances many rescues would have turned you down flat for exactly the reasons you've decided to give him up. So if you felt it wasn't working and there was nothing you could do then you've done the right thing.

adaline · 13/10/2019 21:24

Honestly? I think you made the wrong decision.

I think at six your dog would have been much happier in his own home than he will be stuck in a rescue centre. Of course being home alone isn't ideal but it's better than the alternative.

Despite what all the rescue shows would have us believe, lots of dogs who end up in rescue at old age (and six is relatively old for a large breed dog) stay there. People are keen to adopt puppies and young cute dogs but they're not so keen on big old dogs unfortunately.

I hope you're okay Thanks

VenusTiger · 13/10/2019 21:25

Get your dog back OP. He’s better off in his own home alone, than in a kennels alone.
He has no idea why he’s there. Plus, he’ll never get over you.
How sad. Sad

adaline · 13/10/2019 21:26

OP - if this was reversed and you'd gone to rehome a dog this week and described your current circumstances many rescues would have turned you down flat for exactly the reasons you've decided to give him up.

But that's not the same situation. OP's dog has lived with her for five years. The dog is settled in her home and with her children. It's very different from a rescue letting a dog go to a family it's never met and to an unfamiliar home with nobody around all day.

zsazsajuju · 13/10/2019 21:27

So sorry to hear that op. He will find a lovely new home so don’t worry.

MyOtherProfile · 13/10/2019 21:27

Mumsnet has become a place of abject bitchiness lately. I'm surprised anyone dare post anything with all the lashing out of some posters. Where's the compassion for someone in a tough situation?

VenusTiger · 13/10/2019 21:29

@MyOtherProfile we like animals too I guess.
Well, I adore mine.