Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Have to find a home for my old lady

178 replies

HalfwayToFifty · 21/01/2017 20:53

I'm absolutely devastated. Had my cat since she was 8 weeks old. She is now approx 14/15. She's a house cat who is scared of children thanks to my Ds chasing her. We are moving house in a few weeks and no pets allowed. I'm gutted I can't keep her. We have been trying to search for some where that can take her and rehome her but having no luck. Don't want to just advertise on social media incase I make the wrong decision and send her somewhere horrid! I wold prefer her to go to a rescue so they could take care in rehoming her. Any ideas of places that do this? We are in the northwest.

OP posts:
Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:20

I've always seen how cruel people on here can be to other human beings but thought I would ask for advice anyway.
You have made me wonder if we should remain living with my mum, putting a strain on my relationship with her and my marraige. Not being able to parent my children my way. I should be looking forward to us being a proper family unit not sat crying in front of my children over people comments about my cat. I think your behaviour is disgusting.

OP posts:
shinysinkredemption · 25/01/2017 09:21

You could hold out for a place that takes pets... from the facts you have given I don't honestly understand why getting rid of your cat is your only option. I appreciate you must have your reasons and I'm not asking for details. Just hoping you could find a solution whereby you could keep your cat. If you can't, then as I said I think putting her to sleep is kindest, unless you find a crazy cat lady to adopt her which seems rather a long shot.

lapetitesiren · 25/01/2017 09:21

If it's an indoor cat you could just sneak it in the new house. If it's clean and you are otherwise good tenants landlord might turn a blind eye even if they do find out (say it's visiting). It won't be around for ever. It could finish it's life without a lot of upheaval then.Tell your child to leave it alone.

Cloeycat · 25/01/2017 09:21

Jesus people here missing the point a bit- she cant keep the cat, the landlord won't let her, now her options are find a new home or put to sleep. As the landlord won't let her keep the cat anything to do with the four year old is irrelevant, no need to bang on about how he should behave.

Beverly Goldberg you are intent on pouring salt in the wound clearly as you've come on to repeat the same thing three time. We get it, you are disgusted, well done. If you are that disgusted offer to take the cat or offer a practical solution.

onthettcbus · 25/01/2017 09:24

It sounds like it would be kinder to put her to sleep tbh rather than put her through the trauma of dumping her in a rescue centre for the rest of her life, with little chance of ever being rehomed. I don't understand why you haven't replied to other people suggesting this? Personally if my pets can't come then none of us move.

JennyOnAPlate · 25/01/2017 09:25

I would take the cat with me to the new house. How would the landlord know?

shinysinkredemption · 25/01/2017 09:25

I'm really sorry you came here for help and feel unsupported but as a pet owner you must understand how high feelings run about animals, they do become part of the family and of equal standing with other members for many people. I'm sorry if this doesn't make you feel any better, I'm just trying to point out that of course you were going to get this kind of reaction. A lot of posters have been nonjudgemental and offered helpful advice, I hope you find a solution and get your happy ending.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:26

Cloeycat thankyou
Everyone's discussing my sons behaviour like he's the devil child. He's a good boy he just wants the cat to chase the bloody toy.

OP posts:
Venusflytwat · 25/01/2017 09:27

"I think your behaviour is disgusting"

Oh the irony. Right back at you OP. This is a horrible thing you're doing.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:28

Maybe because the thought of putting her to sleep makes me feel sick?. You live in our situation then tell me not to move!

OP posts:
lapetitesiren · 25/01/2017 09:29

It doesn't sound as if your mum is being very helpful. Is she trying to make you stay by not helping with the cat? Can you talk to her again? I had to rehome an animal due to difficult life circumstances once. It's not an easy thing to do. Hope you find a solution.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:29

So according to you all I shouldn't provide a home for my children? My cat co.e before my kids? Well by God I feel sorry for your kids if that's how it works!

OP posts:
JanuaryMoods · 25/01/2017 09:30

OP, ignore the bitching. Your family and finding a home for your DCs is what matters.

People can be quite irrational about animals. They really don't matter a much as people.

You should keep your cat. She is your responsibility. Your decision is callous and cruel to abandon your elderly cat. Most people with pets would understand that. Your behaviour disgusts me.

And your attitude disgusts me, frankly. OP has found a home for her DCs most people think that's a good thing. Only the barking mad think a cat should come before family.

Frouby · 25/01/2017 09:33

I completely understand your issues OP. Of course your children must come first.

If I were in your situation I would first contact the landlord. If that's a no go and you can't leave her with your mum and keep an eye on her I would chose pts rather than rehoming. For the benefit of the cat. She is old, has only ever known you and won't know any different. A cats home is stressful for younger cats never mind an old girl.

ilovesooty · 25/01/2017 09:33

The thought of euthanasia might make you feel sick but given your decision it might be the most humane option. The least you can do is not subject an elderly cat to disruption and confusion.

onthettcbus · 25/01/2017 09:33

The thought of seeing my cats face as i turned round and walked out of the rescue centre leaving her behind and knowing that i would never see her again would make me feel more sick. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night wondering if she was distressed or lonely or missing us. I'm sorry but you feeling sick at the thought of putting her to sleep is pretty selfish tbh, ffs you need to stop putting your own feelings first and do the right thing. You can't just toss animals out when its not convenient for you anymore.

onthettcbus · 25/01/2017 09:34

I think this would would be the last kind thing you could do for her.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:39

onthettcbus incase you haven't noticed my kids feelings come first. They need a home. I have found a house big enough in our measly £600pm budget that won't have pets. My children come first not my cat. I am doing the right thing for my children. If it was my feelings I would stay here, with not a thought to my husband or children, and keep the cat. If people agree that pts is the best of a bad situation for her then I will have to consider it.

OP posts:
AuntMatilda · 25/01/2017 09:40

I agree with ttcbus . If you are really 'devastated'how are you going to feel for the x amount of time in your new home without her?
And saying you don't have a choice -yes you absolutely do have one. You are just choosing to abandon her because the other choice isn't convenient (ie sneak cat into new house , or stay until you find somewhere suitable for all the family including her). It isn't about putting the cat before the children it's absolutely being responsible for all including her. Doesn't set a great example to your children either-how would they feel about it?

I'm a landlord. I would absolutely understand this situation.
If you've already told the LL you're having the house tell them you've changed your mind based on this, they may well back down.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 25/01/2017 09:41

Not one person has said cat before kids. Everyone is saying cat AS WELL AS kids.

Personally I'd sneak the cat in, teach my 4yo to leave her in peace, and that would be the end of it. I can't help but think you are over complicating.

AuntMatilda · 25/01/2017 09:45

I would also sneak the cat in and put £aside for any damages.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:47

Trust me I have thought about sneaking her in. She scratches stair carpets despite having a scratch post. If I got found out would that leave me and my children on the streets with a bad reference? Is it worth the risk.
Like I said previously the cat was bought for me when I was 10. I didn't ask for a cat but I have loved her. I still do but I love my family more and need to build a home. I'm 25 with a husband and children living with my mum. It is not ideal. If I had thought of all this when I was 10 (what 10yo would?) I would have declined my present of a cat.
I'm not someone who asked for a dog for Xmas and bow a month later decide I can't take the responsibility, I'm doing the best by my children.

OP posts:
ArseyTussle · 25/01/2017 09:49

Is the new house furnished? Carpeted? If there's nothing in it for a cat to damage your LL may be fine, there's a big difference between an elderly cat and a puppy.

You'd still need to sort out the issue with your DS though.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 25/01/2017 09:50

If I got found out would that leave me and my children on the streets with a bad reference? Is it worth the risk

What does the new contract say? I'd be very surprised if it was a valid reason to evict someone, especially since cats are notorious for moving into random houses of their own accord no matter what you do (hint hint).

Maybe look on the landlord forum here?

ArseyTussle · 25/01/2017 09:50

Sorry, cross posted! Yes, scratching the carpet would be a problem.