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Original poster

Have to find a home for my old lady

178 replies

HalfwayToFifty · 21/01/2017 20:53

I'm absolutely devastated. Had my cat since she was 8 weeks old. She is now approx 14/15. She's a house cat who is scared of children thanks to my Ds chasing her. We are moving house in a few weeks and no pets allowed. I'm gutted I can't keep her. We have been trying to search for some where that can take her and rehome her but having no luck. Don't want to just advertise on social media incase I make the wrong decision and send her somewhere horrid! I wold prefer her to go to a rescue so they could take care in rehoming her. Any ideas of places that do this? We are in the northwest.

OP posts:
dalmatianmad · 25/01/2017 08:02

She's lived st your mum's first the last 15 years so shy can't she stay there??Hmm

It's a home she's familiar with and won't have an unruly 4 year old chasing her?

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 25/01/2017 08:03

Can't understand why your mum can't keep her. I had a cat when I was growing up, but when I went to university she stayed at home with my mum.

Hoppinggreen · 25/01/2017 08:03

I'm not criticising your parenting at all but a 4 year old should be able to understand that he needs to leave a cat alone.
However, it sounds like the move is the main issue anyway. Agree what other people say - speak to the landlord first of all and IF they agree you can take the cat then it should be perfectly possible to stop your child chasing the cat

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 25/01/2017 08:04

It seems like you have made your decision but felt guilty about it and were looking for validation online. You also don't want to have any responsibility for your actions as you say your priorities have changed and the cat was a gift. She is your cat and you have a responsibility to care for her until she dies.

PurpleMcPants · 25/01/2017 08:05

The obvious answer seems to be to leave her with your mum? My mum got me a cat when I was 16 and really she was always considered a 'family' cat so she stayed there when I left home.
Does your mum not want her?

It reminds me, when we were choosing a rescue cat, the one next door to the one we chose was a cat that the parents had bought for their daughter when she was 15. She'd just gone to uni and they dropped the cat straight to cats protection the DAY AFTER she'd left!!

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 08:06

I get the feeling the thing mum is looking forward to most about us leaving is not having the cat. She's a house cat and her poos stink the house out before its fully left her bottom. My mum also would hate to be left doing the litter tray. And she would probably forget to feed her.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 25/01/2017 08:07

So it's not that your mum can't take her. She won't.
Poor cat.
And a four year old is old enough to know to leave the poor thing alone.

JanuaryMoods · 25/01/2017 08:08

I think the kindest thing would be to have it pts. Of course your family matters more than a cat. Good luck in your new home.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 08:11

mrsBeverleygoldberg my responsibility is finding home for my children.they come first and my Dh not the cat. She's slept on my tummy in my bed for the last 15 years, do you not think it's makes me sad to know she won't be doing that? Do you not think it will make me sad changing the routine from feeding the kids, then feeding her to just feeding the kids? Should I find somewhere else that's probably too small for my kids but will take pets, rehome my kids instead and keep the cat? Would that make it better?

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 25/01/2017 08:11

It's not true to say no one wants an older cat. I wanted to adopt a 16 year old cat whose owner had died.

Devilishpyjamas · 25/01/2017 08:14

Your mum is the obvious answer.

I agree with others that unless you can find an old lady then pts is the kindest option.

It might be worth trying the cats protection league - years ago my grandmother fostered an ancient cat from them (she was cat mad). They paid vet bills (she could not have afforded an elderly cat otherwise), she cooked cod for the cat daily. Confused The cat ate better than her.

Devilishpyjamas · 25/01/2017 08:15

Oh not necessarily an old lady - but they're a good bet for an older cat.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 08:42

My son does know better, doesn't mean he doesn't want the cat to play with him. I came on here to if anyone would know a nice place, so yes I have made my mind up, no I wasn't looking for validation. I already know it isn't nice but I also know I don't have a choice. I would love if my mum would have her. I'd still pay for her of course but my mum is adamant she doesn't want her. Maybe if she wasn't a house cat her decision would be different.

OP posts:
PrancerForHoney · 25/01/2017 08:47

Where in NE are you? I have a friend who works in rescue and she maybe able to help. The cats go to foster homes.
I used to run my own cat rescue. We specialised in old and disabled cats. My friend does similar. Do you want me to ask her for you?

neonrainbow · 25/01/2017 08:48

One anomoly of one random internet person wanting to adopt an old cat doesn't mean that your cat will find a home. A 15yo cat, even though healthy up to now, is nearing the end of her life and that means potentially expensive vet bills. Nobody will take that on when they could adopt a cat they could have for years. I couldn't live with myself if i sent a cat of that age to a cat sanctuary. Sometimes you've got to do what right for the cat and not you. The cat won't know she might have been able to live for another couple of years but if she does go to a cat sanctuary she'll certainly know about the stress of being moved possibly a number of times and potentially then being put down anyway.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 08:49

It NW, we are in Cheshire.

OP posts:
PrancerForHoney · 25/01/2017 08:59

My friend is Newcastle way.
Have you tried Many Tears Rescue? They are in Wales. We have done transporting for them in the past.
www.manytearsrescue.org
I can also contact my old vet. He works with a charity around London that take old cats on where they are kept in homes as permanent fosters. They may be able to organise a transport run for you if they can help.

PrancerForHoney · 25/01/2017 09:01

www.9lives.org.uk

This is the one.

I'd best do some work now. Good Luck.

ilovesooty · 25/01/2017 09:01

You don't really sound "devastated" quite frankly. It sounds as though euthanasia is the only realistic option since you've made up your mind to get rid. It's always depressing to hear of people discarding a lifetime of pet ownership and treating an animal as disposable and having a total disregard for attachments formed over many years.

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 25/01/2017 09:02

You should keep your cat. She is your responsibility. Your decision is callous and cruel to abandon your elderly cat. Most people with pets would understand that. Your behaviour disgusts me.

chemenger · 25/01/2017 09:08

Have you tried Cat Protection? I foster for them and we regularly rehome older cats. There are people who prefer old cats and while they take longer than kittens to find homes for they don't linger for long. It may vary from branch to branch of course but CP don't have an upper age limit on cats they rehome.

shinysinkredemption · 25/01/2017 09:09

I get that you are in a tough situation but in your shoes I don't think I could abandon the cat no matter what. 15 years old? She sleeps on your tummy?

You might want her to have a happy ending with someone else but if you absolutely, categorically have decided to abandon her then I think putting her to sleep is the most humane course of action.

And FWIW a 4 yo should be able to understand that upsetting an animal by chasing it is wrong.

Original poster
HalfwayToFifty · 25/01/2017 09:14

So I'll keep my cat and 'discard' my children then yeah? I was bought the cat when I was TEN YEARS OLD ffs if your priorities hadn't changed from being 10 years old to 25 years old I would wonder why! It's breaking my heart but I HAVE NO CHOICE so yes, my mind is made up. Would I prefer to have her with me? Yes, of course I would! Is my priority building a home for my children? Yes it damn well is!

Thank you to all that have given good advice.

OP posts:
StumblyMonkey · 25/01/2017 09:14

In this situation I would sneak the cat into the new house.

I could never, ever abandon my cats. Especially if they were older and very likely to have to either be PTS or live out their final years in a tiny pen.

I'd take the cat, say nothing to the landlord and would hide the cat at my Mum's house for the home inspection or put them in the car in their cat basket.

I would put up a stair gate so that the cat could escape upstairs/into another room whenever they got fed up of DS.

I couldn't forgive myself for abandoning an old cat.

StumblyMonkey · 25/01/2017 09:15

And no, I wouldn't feel guilty about lying to the landlord as the fact that so many landlords don't allow pets even though it leads to these kind of situations is, IMO, quite wrong.