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Pedants' corner

Does ANYONE in the 21st century, apart rom my mother, still do this?

74 replies

clam · 30/03/2008 23:16

I'm a pedant with the best of us, but draw the line with this one. My mother insists on addressing letters to me as Mrs J >>>>, when that is DH's initial, and mine begins with a C. Even my birthday cards. Drives me mad. Anyone else?

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 30/03/2008 23:17

it's just formal address

you are Mrs J Dh until your mil dies

then you become The Matriarch

pinacolada82 · 30/03/2008 23:17

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marina · 30/03/2008 23:18

We tend to use it in our family, truth to tell

Cappuccino · 30/03/2008 23:22

I must admit I don't use it, but it is correct

it's not some odd thing that only they do

UnquietDad · 30/03/2008 23:24

Mine does too, when she writes just to DW, e.g,. birthday cards. It's very irritating.

IdrisTheDragon · 30/03/2008 23:25

My mum does. DH got confused and opened a card address to me as he didn't see the fact it said Mrs I T Dragon.

I don't do it myself and am very much a pedant. I think the custom will die out eventually.

sophiebbb · 30/03/2008 23:25

No - my MIL is Italian and thinks it highly amusing that I even changed my surname to match her son's!

Neverenough · 30/03/2008 23:28

It's an interesting fact that you are Mrs Husband's Initial Then Surname until he dies and only then would you become Mrs Your Own Initial Then Surname.
Fortunately I married a man with the same initial so has never bothered me!
Who becomes the matriarch if there are four brothers though???

Fortunately again, I married the oldest brother and have seen off two sisters-in-law so far-the Other Survivor and I hanging in there!

clam · 30/03/2008 23:29

I know it used to be the form a couple of centuries ago, but now? Still? If only I had enough gumption to return the envelope to sender, unopened, but you never know... there might be a birthday cheque inside.

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 30/03/2008 23:31

Never I think you get to be your own name when you are the oldest woman

IdrisTheDragon · 30/03/2008 23:34

I thought you were always Mrs Husband's Initial then Surname unless you got divorced.

DH's Granny is still Mrs Husband's Initial then Surname and she has been a widow for about 15 years I think.

keepcalmandcarryon · 30/03/2008 23:34

I use it particularly in correspondence with one friend, because her DH has such an impressive array of initials (Mrs A B C d'E) and because she always uses the equivalent to me. Personally, use it to people who appreciate it/use it back, wd not impose it on those who don't.

at Cappuccino - can't wait to be referred to as The Matriarch...

marina · 30/03/2008 23:37

It is a divorce thing and I love the French Mme Veuve Smith so that everyone knows he fell off his perch and didn't leg it to Marseille with his mistress.
It was in almost universal use until WW2. My paternal grandparents were very hot on this sort of correctness and I think we keep using it as a subconscious salute to their vanished world, not because we think it's right

jura · 30/03/2008 23:39

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fairylights · 30/03/2008 23:40

my grandparents still address cards to me/us like that and my mum does sometimes but she knows it annoys me!

jura · 30/03/2008 23:40

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purpleduck · 30/03/2008 23:58

My mom does it and i HATE HATE HATE it.

Never mind the fact that i am Purple-Duck, and dh is Duck

grrrrrrr!!!!

clam · 30/03/2008 23:58

It almost caused a punch-up when we got married, as my parents wanted to write 'Mrs John Smith' etc.. on the place cards at the reception, presumably to impress their friends. Our friends would have been horrified. I won that one.

OP posts:
horsish · 31/03/2008 00:16

clam that happened to me too! Nearly called off the damn wedding

littlelapin · 31/03/2008 00:21

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littlelapin · 31/03/2008 00:22

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soapbox · 31/03/2008 00:28

I think my mother finds it quite a comfort that formal mail is still addressed to her in my late father's name and initial. Strange but true!

Desiderata · 31/03/2008 00:35

Oh, all my letters are simply addressed to 'C*, Somerset.'

They seem to get through OK.

solo · 31/03/2008 01:01

Well, I'm divorced and I do NOT wish to be Mrs Anything. I had two birthday cards from my parents last week addressed to Mrs, and I told them I'm a Ms now. They don't like Ms though! Lots of people still write Mrs. I have often when married been Mrs his name or initial Surname. Didn't mind then, but DO mind now!!!

Upsidedowncake · 31/03/2008 12:23

When I was a little girl, I remember my parents talking to a maiden aunt about me, slightly tongue in cheek, as 'Miss Cake'.

Maiden aunt responds, 'I am the senior Miss Cake. She should properly be known as Miss U. Cake until I die.'

Of course, once she died, I swanked about as 'Miss Cake' and didn't reply to anyone who didn't address me properly.