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Tillyscoutsmum's brides and wedding chat

736 replies

teafortwo · 16/09/2008 11:50

Thread one was in chat - so lost and gown foreeeevvvverrr

Thread 2 is here...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2401/558352

Thread three is below... chat away brides to be, chat away!!!!!

OP posts:
BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 13:28

It totally doesn't matter what colour. Most of us wear white/ivory for traditional reasons but break with tradition in other ways... you should see our invites! I think you should wear what works for you.

In SA, where I'm getting married, it's definitely considered appropriate/fashionable to have a very simple dress. I am laughing at that and saying "screw it" lots of local guests will be surprised I think by the bling! But let 'em, that's what I say. I will be happy!

Tilly - love the green reference. My mum has a strange green (and red, and black) superstition so I have spent hours having to reassure her I won't wear green, the bridesmaids won't wear green, my MIL won't wear green....

Did I tell you all I found bridesmaids dress material? such a weight off my mind, even if it is more expensive per meter than the entire fabric cost for my dress. Sigh. But as one of them is pregnant, I won't need as much for her anyway! Bargain!

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 13:29

Stretch I think it's fab you are doing what you like, be confident about it, I wish I could be so confident.

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 13:29

It occurs to me, rereading that, that I should clarify the bridesmaid pregnant thing - i will need less material because her skirt will now be chiffon, not the thick cotton of the regular dresses!

stretchmarkSCREAM · 16/10/2008 13:36

I didn't think I was being confident!!
I saw a lovely green dress in Pronuptia, called 'beauty', and would have bought it was it not for the hefty price tag! £1065 I will try not to worry, but you can judge for yourselves when I show the pics!!!!!

Tillyscoutsmum · 16/10/2008 13:49

Bling - I've heard about the red and green superstitions (marry in green, wish you'd never been seen. marry in red, wish yourself dead or some other twaddle ). I found my dream green dress but it was almost £2,000 - so I went with red . You did confuse me about your bm material Makes sense though now

Stretch - you will look amazing. I know you will

Tillyscoutsmum · 16/10/2008 13:52

My dream dress for anyone who fancies a nosey in niche section, 6th one across, called Peacock Seattle

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 13:53

That is a gorgeous dress tsm!

stretchmarkSCREAM · 16/10/2008 13:59

my dream dress !!

stretchmarkSCREAM · 16/10/2008 14:00

It's gorgeous TSM!! Lovely colour. !!

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 14:04

You've already seen my dream dress! Though I did see a nice one at the wedding show but it was £2,400!

I'm really nervous about saturday, I'm worried even if my dad see's it he will still think it's too expensive and I'll have to put the rest to it (I know my wedding and if i want a more expensive dress etc I'm an adult, why should he pay for it, he's not wearing it blah blah but a little bit of me feels a bit upset he doesn't think spending £700 on my wedding day is worth it if i'm honest) How am I not going to end up having a bridzilla moment in the shop? I don't want my dad to pay for it out of guilt or whatever either I jsut wish he wanted me to have it because I've spent 6mths looking for it and now I've found it it still isn't good enough iykwim? Theres no way I'm starting my search again and anyway even if I found a cheaper dress I don't want to be walking down the ailse thinking I wish I'd paid the extra and had my dream dress do I?

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 14:21

Stretch - I love it. It's my kind of dress! I like TSM too.
LMG - I totally know what you mean. And the truth is that £700 isn't even that bad when you think about what a lot of dresses cost. Is your dad JUST paying for the dress? Or for the rest of the wedding too? I know in my case, my parents were really stressed about the potential cost of the wedding dress because they're paying for the whole wedding (well, they have a budget for the whole thing but DP's parents and DP and I are paying in quite a bit on top). They were worried that because I might buy it in England and pay pounds, that it would be hugely expensive. But my attitude was that if that's what happened, I might have to pay in for myself. But there was also a part of me that thought, "it's not my fault the rand is weak, why should I be penalised because I live in England".

Moral of the (long) story - these things aren't logical. you feel what you feel.

Ask him to pay as much as he can and then beg, borrow and steal whatever you have to in order to make up the rest of the price. I don't know if you're serving food or drinks but could you cut back slightly on those? I don't want to seem cheap, but for example, do people need a three course meal or whatever? But apologies if you're already pared down as far as you can go!

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 14:23

Oh, and on the colours - I can accept my mum's superstition on the dresses. But at one point, we were toying with green tableclothes and she went ballistic...

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 14:30

He's just paying for the dress, in laws are paying for church and our honeymoon and are also taking our dd's on holiday while we're on our honeymoon. My parents are divorced so my mum is paying for flowers/ tiara and cake we're paying for the rest, family and friends have already offered to give us money instead of presents so we can have spending money for our honeymoon. My best friend is paying for our wedding car. We're having a social club with buffet and friends doing the entertainment so not much we can cut back on tbh.

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 14:36

Remind me please, when is the wedding?

I thin you have to hope your dad pays up - or at least pays a big percentage. Then maybe you can scrimp and save? I know, I know, in this market most of us are already doing that so it's not so easy. Maybe flowers? if you cut back a bit on what you're carrying or something?

Sorry, trying to help, just don't know what to suggest.

Tillyscoutsmum · 16/10/2008 14:37

LMG - I'm sure your dad will take one look at you in your gorgeous dress and will think its worth thousands and thousands of pounds .

Men of that generation just don't realise how much wedding dresses can cost. Just play it by ear, but if it is too much for him, would you be able to make a contribution ? If you can cut back elsewhere, I think its worth it to be able to walk down the aisle in the dress you really want.

It is lovely that your families are helping you out though. I am

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 14:39

Yes, I was just going to say - i bet when he sees you in it....

Tilly, are your folks not too involved? That's hard I think. On plus side, you don't have to listen as closely to what they want! [sorry if this is an old chat because I'm new].

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 14:46

Thanks for not calling me a spoilt brat, honestly I am not one of these adults who acts like a child and expects money all the time, I have struggled with money or lack of all my adult life I do know £700 is a lot of money and I'm willing to ebay things to help with the cost.

I met dp when we were 19 (dd1 was 2) we've been together nearly 7 years and really want to be married so our famillies are helping us or it would never happen!

Tillyscoutsmum · 16/10/2008 14:49

Bling - no - not really. I don't really get on with my mum (looooooong story). She is coming but hasn't been involved at all. She just isn't interested . Dad and step mum are a bit more interested but aren't really involved much. They have bought dd's flowergirl dresses but were shocked when they were told they were £60 each (which I think is fairly reasonable). So they've ended up giving us £100 towards them as our "wedding present". It doesn't really bother me that much - like you say - it means I can tell them all to sod off if they start poking their noses in

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 14:53

Tilly. But on mother less involved (facetiously!).

It's funny, weddings do seem to bring out the best and worst in people and families. My mother is a challenge at the best of times (also a long story) but for the wedding she's turned into even more of a weirdo - although they're on hols at the moment, so I'm hoping she's going to come back more relaxed again. And then you get my wonderful, amazing, perfect bridesmaid who has been running around doing all kinds of chores, putting up with my mother, keeping in touch and generally being fantastic. I knew she'd be great, but had no idea HOW great.

Which actually, leads me onto something else- if you're having bridesmaids, what kind of gifts are you getting them? Mine are all over 30 so I don't want to get the same pair of ear rings for all four because I want it to be personalised, but I don't have any ideas. Any ideas for nice, personal and not TOO expensive? I am conscious that things have been getting more expensive by the minute....

Tillyscoutsmum · 16/10/2008 15:05

some bridesmaid gifts here I like some of the wine ones

I'm really happy about not having any interfering mums - I'm far too much of a control freak to let anyone else "help" me

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 15:13

Thanks, I'll have a look at that.

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 16:09

could I get this to go with my dress do you think? beats paying £120 for a veil!

BlingLovin · 16/10/2008 16:14

I can't quite tell if it matches the ivory of your dress - think it might not be quite right? But brilliant idea to save the money by buying it on ebay. Is your dad paying for that too? Or you?
Does your dress need a veil? it's so modern and and funky?

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2008 16:20

I'm paying for everything else.

MerlinsBeard · 16/10/2008 16:35

i got an ivory veil for £24 from bhs..tis LOVELY (even if i do say so myself )