How to politely inform parent that sibling is not invited?

[ConstantlyConfusedMama]

Hi everyone,

Possibly a bit of a contentious topic, but here goes…

We sent out invites for our youngest’s birthday party and on the invites we wrote each child’s name.

One of the parents replied to me quoting both of their children’s names and saying “they” had received the invitation and “they” would love to come to the party.
I found it a bit rude as it wasn’t even like they asked whether they could bring the other child. Also, I am aware that the other child is disruptive and honestly, I just don’t want them spoiling my child’s party.

So, I now have to think of a polite (but assertive) way to reply stating that the sibling is not invited - any idea how to word it?!

CFery, be very clear it's named child only.

I had an invite for one dc, i will likely have no option but to either take older dc or decline the invite so I messaged the parent and asked if it would be ok to bring older dc and pay them in, apologised and explained the situation and was very clear they would not be joining the party! The parent was lovely and said they didn't mind at all. If I'd just invited the extra dc I would fully expect her to have told me to knob off.

Go with something like this. Short and to the point.

That wasn't rude!

I don't understand people saying that their child can only attend parties if the sibling can come too. If the invited child is school age, you drop that sibling off at the party and do something with the other child in the meantime. Where is the problem? It's so rude and grabbing to expect party hosts to pay for siblings who are not invited and probably not friends of the birthday child.

Oh - you're one of those mums

Thanks for all your replies.

I know everyone has different views on things like this. But ultimately, we are paying for a party for my child to enjoy with their chosen friends. Like @Yfory said, if I was having a birthday celebration, I wouldn’t expect my invited friends to bring random people along for their convenience 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have two children so I know it’s not always easy to arrange childcare for the other one. But I never just invite the other along. I’ve even had instances where the other one asks if they can go and I say no because it’s not their friend’s party. So I either arrange something or they don’t go.

We had one of these in DS's class, always trying to push her other child into parties. In the end I started booking activity type parties and stating on the invite that no siblings could be accommodated.

It's just really rude. Parties are expensive and other people's childcare issues are not your problem.

OP.

She was rude and cheeky, she knew exactly what she was doing. She just wants to dump off the older sibling for a few hours.
She is relying on your politeness and it being awkward for you not to say anything and just suck it up.

The earlier response was acceptable - don't apologise about any misunderstanding - there wasn't any - she's just chancing her arm. People are unreal!

Make sure you are on the door so she doesn't just dump both children and run!

LOL! 😂😂😂😂😂

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand I wouldn't mess with you!

Maybe she was being gender neutral?! Does seem strange to assume the sib is invited (unless a babe in arms).

The mum wrote both the kids names in the reply

Oh she is a CF then 😆

bjrce I'm a pussycat really. ☺️

To me the word they from a parent responding means that parent and the invited child not a sibling

Because the Birthday child chose who to invite?
If anyone can turn up it kind of negates the whole concept of inviting people

10/10 @WoolyMammoth55 for deciphering what that sentence was about. It's totally incoherent to me!

It is rude/strange of her to assume siblings would automatically be invited. A simple 'So glad x can make it! Unfortunately there's limited space (or whatever) so we can't include siblings for this party' should be fine.

You've had good advice. But do it asap. The longer it goes on without a response from you, the harder it will be.

Also, what I find weird is, unless there's some massive history of you hanging out with this women and both of her children at the same time... why would anyone assume an older sibling is invited to a younger sibling's friend's party? I can't get my head around that at all. It's total CFery.

Are you sure she's assuming both dc are invited. I would text saying "thanks for the invite, they'd love to come", and only mean one child. What I'm saying is there a chance you've read it wrong?

One of those parents that feel her children are entitled.
“How dare you invite one without the other “
map she replied abs invited them both! Wow
Or/and
The child not invited could be throwing a strop at home and this is her way of dealing with it.

The check would make me reply and make it clear second child wasn’t invited

Just to update you all - I did reply and just basically said the invite was for the named child only, hope they could make it.

The mum replied to say she knew that, but was used to replying “they” instead of the correct pronoun. And then that named child couldn’t come because she had no one to look after the sibling.

Ha. CF for sure. "Oh well, that's a shame, we'll see Named another time. If you want to drop and run that's fine but I know not everyone is comfortable with that."