Should i fix pass the parcel so less advantaged kids win?

[Lady86]

Will it likely cause an issue if i fix the pass the parcel for a 4 year olds party so thr kids from families that are struggling a bit kore at present win, or should i just be completely random. The parents will be accompanying so possible they may notice if its fixed... Thoughts appreciated! Thanks

Generally a present between layers and enough layers for everyone to open one, sticker sheets or sweets. Main present gets it randomly

Usually you'd have enough gifts for all so the 'fixing' is just as you go so as not to end up with anyone getting two?

Ibe done it so there are sweets and a forfeit for every kid between the layers but i was wondering about whether it would cause an issue i i fixed it so the kid with the more hard up family wins be main prize etc or is it still best to be genuinely random with the main prize?

Agree with above, do something nice in between each layer for the kids, then a random prize for the last layer. I always make sure the random prize isn't too big so the other children aren't overly envious.

What is the main prize, that it would make such a difference to a disadvantaged child?!

No, you put a small gift in every layer, make sure all or most kids get to open one layer and that the birthday child doesn’t win. If any child doesn’t get a layer present give them one at the end of the game

I think this is a nice idea OP.

I often fixed it - eg so same kid didn't end up getting all the prizes. I think it's fine and a nice idea

How will you judge OP, if a child is "disadvantaged" or not?

No, don't do this. Put something in the layers if you want but don't fix it- the risk of it being obvious is too high for something so inconsequential.

Yeah, I'd probably try and fix it if it were my finger on the button.

I'm intrigued as to what the present is that would make a difference to a struggling family. I guess you must be assuming some (or one) of the children coming never get any treats.

Personally I think it's a bit off. Just allow the winner to be random.

I think the people asking how much difference it will make are missing the point a bit. It's just a small gift, but what's the harm in directing it towards someone who doesn't get many treats rather than someone who does?

Lol, im jot looking for an arguement over the definition 🤣 i appreciate not every advantage is economic and some of those less well off etc may well benefit from having more time with their family etc.. I haooen to know that a couple of children attending are in situations where their parents have less spare cash for extras like toys at present than others, hence the reason for my thinking re the pass the parcel gift 😊

the 4 year old should pull himself up by his bootstraps rather than relying on handouts.

It’s more difficult to fix P-T-P than you think. You stop the music, and the child before doesn’t relinquish the parcel. Or the child who you want to get it, chucks it to the next child along. Take it from a person whose teenage Saturday job was organising kids’ parties.

Yes, I’d fix it to let a child without much win. It’s a kind thing to do!

I think it's patronising and potentially very embarrassing, if OP isn't as subtle as she thinks she is. I've been hard up and would have hated something like this.

Not really. Op has said some of the parents are "struggling" atm. She won't know the ins and outs of their finances, presumably.
It doesn't necessarily mean a packet of sweeties will be like manna from Heaven to the children?

Why not just stick more treats in the party bags if she's certain the children are deprived and wants to help?

OP you said you think the parents may notice what you're doing, which could make them feel awkward

True. Even with ultra precision some little blighters hang on to the parcel too long/snatch the parcel too soon.

Disadvantaged? How do you know?
Will the parents appreciate your pity? Do you really think they desperately need the treat sized pack of Haribo in order to cheer up their miserable lives?
And then when your child tells another child why Connor, Liam etc get all the treats and Sebastian and Tristan didn’t, how will you manage that? Incredibly patronising.

Excellent to make sure they all ‘win’ something. It really really isn’t a great idea to turn pass the parcel into some kind of off piste social equalisation programme

Yes I’d do this- I fix it so my birthday child never wins

the 4 year old should pull himself up by his bootstraps rather than relying on handouts.

^

Yup

Laundrybin thanks for that interesting insight. It certainly isnt intended to be patronising. Its intended to be kind. Clearly this is a minefield not worth the agro of trying to help someone out if this is how kindness is likely to be received.

Thanks everyone for your comments it seems will just have to be random to avoid potenital sensitivities/ upset for thr winner or those who dont win! Fingers crossed the birthday girl doesnt win if ita random!!! 😂 Or they will think its fixed!