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Original poster

Wedding Vow Renewal...nice or naff?!

59 replies

Blossom4538 · 01/01/2020 20:10

Considering this...we’ve been married over ten years and have had challenging times (not relationship wise)

Thinking something very low key and a fun celebration, as although I enjoyed our day, I spent my wedding day exhausted, feeling like an ugly, fat bride, pretty anxious and feeling sick lol!! Didn’t like the large-ish gathering too much.

So nice or naff?! Any ideas welcome xx

OP posts:
FruitcakeOfHate · 01/01/2020 20:33

Go out for a nice meal, go away for the weekend, take ballroom dancing lessons together, go ice skating, lots you can do that's special.

jillandhersprite · 01/01/2020 20:35

Naff...
Have a party if you want to have a celebration.
Public renewal of vows is hugely self indulgent - if that part is important to you then do it privately but I would question why they need to be renewed or resaid...
Also all the vow renewals I've been aware of in real life have been a rerun of a wedding and come across as grabby - come and indulge me to be the centre of attention and get me another wedding present.
A party you still will be centre of attention but without looking so attention seeking...

Mother87 · 01/01/2020 20:38

Naff AF

FruitcakeOfHate · 01/01/2020 20:39

just be nice to do something special (not too expensive)

How were you planning to afford a vow renewal celebration then? Just throw a Spring BBQ or go out for an adventure, hot air balloon or something.

KitKat1985 · 01/01/2020 20:41

Naff. When you get married you make lifetime vows so you don't need to renew them! Just have a lovely anniversary party instead.

Mummaofmytribe · 01/01/2020 20:42

Pfft. We had a renewal ceremony for our 20th anniversary. Nobody had cheated. We have been through a terrible few years Inc death of child. I have a life-changing condition. We've been through bereavement of our boy, emigration across the world, death of parents, severe longterm illness in another AC, you name it. We've been to hell and back since our (both second marriage) cheap register office/buffet at home wedding 20 yrs before. And come through with a bond so strong that we realised it was our main source of gratitude and power.
We had a simple exchange of words overseen by a celebrant. Formal dress, early evening time. I had flowers so my little GD could have some too which she loved, and we did buttonholes.
It was in a quirky art deco style bar which we hired for 2 hrs at not much cost, and there were cocktails/mocktails and a photographer which we didn't have at our wedding. No white dress or anything! I wore a dark green silky wrap dress actually.
It was so special.
Just our remaining AC and partners, little GC and two closest friends.
We then decamped to an Italian restaurant where children were welcome.
It was an acknowledgement of everything that's tested us and made us the partnership we are.
I'm not into parties and big fusses these days but this was different.
I have lovely photos of my family and the only "good" pictures ever taken as a couple.
My daughter made a beautiful little speech and we lit a candle for our late son.
It was one special evening where we put all our woes aside and celebrated.

beautifulstranger101 · 01/01/2020 20:42

Hugely naff. I just dont get why you'd do it again, after doing it only 10 years ago. Will people be expected to buy presents? it just seems attention seeking and grabby, sorry!

Plus, agree with others, I'm always suspect when people renew vows that one of them has cheated.

OddBoots · 01/01/2020 20:43

If you want a nice celebration with family and friends then is there a significant birthday or anniversary you can celebrate?

BackforGood · 01/01/2020 20:46

Terrible idea.
Like most people, if I heard of anyone 'renewing vows' I would think "Why?" (yes, and probably, who cheated?).
When you get married, you make those promises until 'death do us part'.

Why don't you just have a 'no reason' party ? You don't have to wait for a particular anniversary or big birthday - have a 'Half Way to Christmas' party or something.

AdriannaP · 01/01/2020 20:46

Naff

Runkle · 01/01/2020 20:48

Naff. Just do it in private if it means so much.

Tara336 · 01/01/2020 20:51

I think it’s lovely and wouldn’t assume there were any affairs or relationship problems, maybe I’m just less syndical then others. I always thought about doing it for my 10th anniversary as I thought my wedding was a bit crap and spoilt by relatives bad behaviour, so personally I would do it but maybe disappear off to a beach resort and do it privately or alternatively just have a lovely anniversary party.

QuantamBaby · 01/01/2020 20:52

Naff! Wedding vows are supposed to last a lifetime

Just have a big anniversary party and enjoy yourselves!

ChristmasCarcass · 01/01/2020 20:54

I’ve seen this done for two reasons: affair, or thwarted Bridezilla (who arrived for the renewal in the carriage and meringue dress she hadn’t been able to afford the first time around, and yes of course they wanted presents).

I think if you sell it as an anniversary party, there’s no reason you can’t renew your vows as part of it like Mumma did (that ceremony sounds lovely btw). It’s the “I want another wedding” aspect that is tacky.

IHateBlueLights · 01/01/2020 20:56

Naff. People wonder who had the affair.

Topseyt · 01/01/2020 20:57

The only couple I know of who did a vow renewal did it after the man had cheated and they had split up for a few months.

Do it if you want to though, and if you would find it special. Personally, I think I might be more inclined to spend the money on a holiday or weekend break. I'd get more out of that.

elmosducks · 01/01/2020 20:57

I would have an anniversary party. Keep it simple, Renew your vows privately, with close family only present.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 01/01/2020 20:59

My grandparents had a full blown wedding again but after 50yrs. I thought that was a bit much so after 10 I would really struggle. Also would assume someone had cheated.

jamdhanihash · 02/01/2020 12:16

Do it in private and keep it private. Anniversary parties are grim too. Nobody cares about how long you've been married and it can't be treated as a party just for its own sake.

Emeraldshamrock · 02/01/2020 12:20

They are nice if the couple have had a difficult time, like others I'd assume it was for a fresh start rather than celebrating the years together.
A big party signifies celebrating the time together.

AgeLikeWine · 02/01/2020 12:24

I wouldn’t necessarily think someone had an affair, but I would think a renewal of vows is the sort of naff thing a footballer and his wife might do. I can definitely imagine the Rooneys spending a fortune on such a thing...

YourOpinionIsNoted · 02/01/2020 12:26

Naff naff naff. Marriage vows are lifelong, they don't need to be renewed (unless broken). Like many pp, I would assume one or both of you had cheated.

I also think there's an offputting element of "look at us, we're so special" about it. I know you say you've had a tough ten years but so have lots of people!

crustycrab · 02/01/2020 12:35

The only one I've been to was after an affair so I'd assume that too. Why not just have a special holiday together instead?

Neolara · 02/01/2020 12:39

At least half the guests will assume one of you has had an affair. So probably not s great idea.

MashedSpud · 02/01/2020 12:39

They also make me think someone has broken their vows.