Anyone want to contribute to a special 40th birthday wanky basket for Enid...

[CountessDracula]

I will be putting in

A trowel (with which to plaster on her orange make-up to hide wrinkles, Boots make-up counter woman stylee)

A crochet hook (for making antimacassars and the like as her hair will get greasier with age)

Some reading glasses (cheap 99p ones from superdrug)

I can contribute some Fondant Fancies and a wicker shopping trolley.
Also a lovely foundation garment from our local Old Lady Shop (John's Plus-Sized Fashions and Knitting Accessories)

I'll put a plastic rain hood in and a packet of mint imperials

surely fox's glacier mints or murray mints

pkt of tena lady pissy pads

twin set and pearls coutesy of littlewoods

a purple, velvet hat
special buffing cloth for woodburner/aga
iron tabs
subscription to People's Friend

oh no, my 87 year old gran swears by mint imperials.

And don't call me Shirley

I'll dob her into Nicky H Jones on 10 years younger
So the price of the electricity used to email the show is my true gift.

and a blue rinse to disguise the grey

Giant Flagon of Youth Dew and a Coty Powder Puff

A voucher for Marks & Spencers ( to buy American Tan tights with)

A tartan check trolly

A magnifying glass to use when trying to read the small print in the Readers Digest Competition rules

4711 cologne
Vanishing cream (Pond's)

Lavender drawer liners

A Battenberg cake
shower cap with frills and flowers on

Tickets for Shearings Day-Trip to Bexhill-on-Sea

an extra long shoe horn to help put her slippers on without bending and some lilly of the valley bath cubes

a selection of eau de toiletees from coty

boots with fluffy inners to keep ya feet warm

tea trolley

toilet roll cover in the style of woman with meringue skirt.

some nice frilly nets for her kitchen window which she can twitch.

a device to help her open jars of pickled beetroot and the like

corn plasters

duster to brush off the cobwebs

grab a grannie night out at the grafton

Tena Lady pants, and some tinned ham, and some battenburg cake for her tea

Deep Heat
Roast chicken dinner with dodgy gravy for one from M & S

A bottle of cream sherry

chocolate violets

steredent

baffies

shoehorn (extra long)

Missed BS's battenburg but as any mature lady knows, you can keep food for years past it's sell by date especially to bring out on special occasions.