I need to vent.It is Sunday and I enjoyed my free morning after 6 days of 9-6.30pm job. I have bra and son's school shirts to return to shop, and hoped to try to have nice time with my daughter and treat to her some new clothes/underwear. I somehow imagined a nice day with my girl who actually hates me. My 18 yrs old daughter is autistic, smart but wasn't attending college and was asked to leave. She had pub jobs but didn't turn up few times and lost them. Now she is not working, spends all day in bed ( we share bedroom... because there is no space in our 2 bedroom flat) and only rarely leaves to see her boyfriend.
Anyway she got up and already in the mood as usual. I offered to have a nice afternoon shopping and getting a coffee. She told me she has nothing clean to wear and there are no clean plates or cutlery. I told her I can put some washing on and she can wash up after herself the dishes from yesterday. It ended in saying "screw you" to me, telling me she rather slash her head then spend time with me. Also she has big hair to wash and not bum fluff like me. She grabbed bread ( one she asks to be bought for her) put it on the table ( because she will not wash up) and started shouting at me how stupid it is that there are no clean stuff. I was calm and still wanted to take her with me. She walked by, thrown the sandwich she made at my head and called me a bit...ch. I am at my wits end.
She wants me to make her homeless because she somehow thinks will be given accommodation. I think I will take time off tomorrow and go to council because I can't take this anymore. Her dad kicked her out last year ( she had a room there but new wife didn't want her anymore)and she came back to me ( at the cost of my relationship, but she is my child).
It's not nice to live in a crowded place, but we could make it until she goes to uni, but now she doesn't want to do anything and it is so so horrible to be treated like that. She struggles, but I can't be treated like this....I struggle with it. I don't understand why she hates me. It's really for everything. How I look ( average, boring), how I work so much, have university degree,master degree in science and all I can afford to buy is a small flat, how we don't go on holidays abroad, or anywhere ( because she doesn't want with me and I can't afford lavish holidays), my hair ( thyroid condition...).
Will she ever ever be nicer? Will she clean after herself,help around the home? Will she go back to education?
I try to help, l offered to make doctor appointment, seek help but now she is an adult I am cut out of intervention.
It breaks my heart when occasionally she says she will cut me off and I never see my future grandchildren. She knows it hurts because my mother left me when I was a baby and doesn't want any contact.
Sorry for venting but where I go wrong...I know it sounds like she is entitled but she struggles. I want her to get help, do well and I want relationship with her. But how? I don't understand.