Thread 56 – Covid GCSE Cohort – Spring 26 – Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[crazycrofter]

The old thread has filled up and no one noticed - I think we're missing @oblomov26 sharp eyes!

I've tried to tag in everyone I can think of, but apologies to anyone I've missed!
@shimy @endlessdistraction @justherewithmypopcorn @mummyinbeds @aslockton @oubliettebravo @craggyrat @anothernewname460 @ealingwestmum @ewwsprouts @seeline @piggywaspushed @nctdn @icanbewhatiwant @comefromaway @heifer @kingscotestaff @delphigirl @zebracat @cantonet @socks1107 @blinkbonny @anneofcleavage

Yes, I'm sure you're both right - I need to stop checking it! I definitely won't ask him why he was there... He'll probably tell me if it's something of interest, and if not, then you're right, I don't need to know!

DD (predictably) is coming home again this afternoon having gone back on Thursday, to get things she forgot. I started making a little pile of them on the kitchen table. It will be nice to see her even if it is brief.

I am so tired. I had a few days away by myself over the weekend (Edinburgh) which was lovely and I caught up with some friends and relative, but I'm tired now, work and school governing are busy, I need to make a list of my concerns to take to the memory clinic with mum on Friday, it's Dad's birthday this week and DS's PIP renewal has come though, which I do most of as complicated paperwork is one of his biggest areas of need. He didn't get the job last week but they phoned him for a chat and he got good feedback, the same issue keeps coming up but he is working on getting some experience to plug the gap, but they said they had been very impressed with some of his answers so he's feeling positive. The newly obtained full driving licence is a weight off his mind.

My parents also got away without doing elderly care for theirs by dint of moving hundreds of miles away from them all and having non-working (retired/SAHM) siblings local to the parents to shoulder the burden. Obviously that's just the way life works out, but it does mean they have no idea what it's like, particularly as they were retired by 60/65 with us having long flown the nest and minimal parent care and then literally had years of just travelling the world, socialising, a bit of volunteering, U3A etc. All on good final salary pensions. Whereas I am nearly 60, no sign of retiring, DCs still here, 2 jobs plus the governor role and all their needs piling up on me and I resent it a bit when DMum never seems to realise that I can't just keep dropping everything to sort out things for her. Grrrr.

You grrr away @EffortlesslyDistracted; that is a lot on your plate.

Enjoy the unplanned time with your DD, that’s a bonus amongst the chore type grind. And your DS to get the feedback that he did, he is getting there for sure, 🤞 it is soon.

That's a lot @EffortlesslyDistracted , I'm not surprised you're so tired.

It will be nice to see your dd though (that's the benefit of a nearish uni when they're disorganised isn't it - dd is going to a party in Notts on Thursday and taking ds whatever he's forgotten!). That's really positive news for your ds, even if it's not quite the job he's after yet. Sounds like he has a plan and is interviewing well 👏

I have 'Find my phone' for DH and DD. We all use it, mainly to see if is convenient to phone. DD can see if I am travelling home from work, or at work, so will wait to phone. I can see if she has left London or staying with friends, so if I need to do a station run (or can go in the bath). I can see if her ship has sailed, where she is staying abroad as I often forget which country she is in! We don't do it to stalk, just for logistics and to save whatsapping details.

Sometimes, it does put people in strange places. DH is often in the middle of a pond. That means he is still at work as there is a duck pond near his place of work.

DD had her phone snatched off her outside St Pauls a few years ago. We could see her phone in a house in Hackney. There was no way we were going to ask for it back!

Came on to recommend a series with Sharon Horgan called Youth on Prime hbo max ( I think) I watched the first two episodes yesterday. The son is just brilliant and very quirky ... and it might appeal to those of us with quirky adult kids.

@EffortlesslyDistracted You are truly sandwiched with responsibilities. Can you go lie in the bath for an hour one evening?

I have never tracked DS. Not the modern way I know but went for building trust and much crossing of fingers. DH and I have never tracked each other either.

Re tracking - DD is still on FindFriends. It’s useful to see if she’s on way back from work as she works late shifts. She’s just moved out so I may check she’s safely back in her place (she called me last night in the walk home). I have DH there for same reason and vice versa.

DS (who is the cohort I’m on here for), chucked his off ages ago!

@Cantonet- will check out the series, my DCs are def quirky.

Hugs to those with parents with dementia. My mum had to solely deal with my grandma when she had Alzheimer’s - as well as having me. Looking back idk how she did it. I was only a child/young teen.

Friends of mine are dealing with similar - it really is an awful illness. My FIL suffered too - luckily(!) DH and his brother, and MIL all supported him (although he spent last couple of years in a care home as he wasn’t able to be cared for at home even by carers).

That is a lot for any one person to have on their plate @EffortlesslyDistractedVery positive feedback re DS interview and I hope he finds something to fill that experience gap soon. He’s on the cusp and these interviews will be invaluable experience.
I have suggested to DH that he makes himself a little less readily available as he’s run ragged being first port of call - he has a brother v nearby who is 3 yrs younger but you’d think he was a teenager the way MIL won’t ask him for help as he’s the baby of the family. She’s never worked bar a leaving school office job before marriage so doesn’t get the busy working life and not being able to drop everything. She’s lovely though and we do get on but the helplessness and glass half empty attitude is wearing.

We have life360 for our family @crazycrofterand it’s such a useful resource as I can see if DD is still at work or on her way so I know when to start final dinner prep. Same for DH if he’s away for work. He used to stop at the services to give me an ETA but now I just glance at life360. I can see why you’d be nosey though as I’d be wondering too. When DD was on the dating app and going on dates she wanted us to be able to check where she was just in case. It’s a double edged sword for sure.

It definitely is. I had a voice note from Ds last night explaining his manic 24 hours (I hadn’t asked!). His girlfriend broke down in Wolverhampton so he had to rescue her at 1am. Then he had to get up early to take her to a job interview and then go back to Wolverhampton to take her car to a garage and sit in a pub all day waiting for it to be fixed!

He is so good @crazycrofter, he really sounds like a lovely young man.

I need to get the PIP form done as priority then hopefully can relax a bit. Going away by myself was a really good mental health reset (this is the third year I have done it and I highly recommend it), but I have come home physically tired and it is worse at the moment because DH still can't drive following his broken arm 5 weeks ago so I am doing an extra hour of driving most days taking him to work and back (DS is also doing some of this) and doing his share of any other driving that's needed. Hopefully he will be back behind the wheel soon.

@crazycrofter he's a good lad, glad the mystery was solved! Yes, I'd forgotten when I posted yesterday as both DCs had been at home for the last few months, I use FindMy when they are at uni to see if it's a good time to call (we are a family who calls rather than texts) so if they were in the uni buildings or town I'd leave it till I could see they were back at their room.

Good point @EffortlesslyDistracted i do that too - although it sounds like Ds’ new flatmates are more social than last year’s (they’re all overseas students doing a semester abroad) so now I’m feeling I don’t want to interrupt in case he’s making friends!

He finally had his acceptance email from the French uni yesterday so he’s definitely going in Jan/Feb.

Hi everyone! Sorry to hear of so many of us dealing with dementia. My mum is back in her care home amazingly - doing remarkably well. Her care was fantastic from start to finish, I was so impressed. Now working with community physiotherapists who come into her home.
so delighted it is almost the weekend though, I am absolutely drained by it all whilst also juggling work which was mercifully and uncharacteristically quiet at the beginning of the week but totally full on yesterday today and tomorrow.
very excited for your dds visit and birthday this weekend @ealingwestmum ! Enjoy. Also pleased to hear the Birmingham/Loughborough visits of @crazycrofter’s D’s have an honourable cause 🤣. He does sound lovely. @EffortlesslyDistracted it is the mental juggling that really exhausts me- the constant mental list of things I have to do and mustn’t forget and ought to remind X of and and and…. You sound like you need a few days of doing nothing and speaking to no-one…

In other news I’m enjoying my puppy although he was the class clown at the first puppy class last weekend, the only one in a class of apparently immaculately behaved quiet pups. He lives quite a rural sequestered life despite my best efforts to socialise him and went nuts with overstimulation when he saw 8 other dogs in one place and just barked and barked and could I distract him with bits of sausage? No, readers, I could not. It was, frankly humiliating. Can’t wait for a repeat this Sunday 🙄

Nice to hear about DPup @Delphigirl . I agree, it's the non-stop trying to deal
with the endless to do lists for everyone, and emails pinging away. I did go away by myself for three nights at the weekend and it was just lovely. I met my cousin one afternoon and went to a meetup with some acquaintances on another but had two whole and two half days and all the evenings to myself to just potter around and do whatever I felt like (went to the cinema two of the evenings, walked lots, pottered round shops, found some nice cafes, took hundreds of photos). This is the third time I've done it as it really does do me good.

I’m glad to hear it @EffortlesslyDistracted , I think it is so necessary as a stress management technique.
just hear that ds2 has had his insanely well-paid freelance contract extended for 2 weeks and those he has worked with have given stellar feedback both to the mega-corp parent company and his agency. Agency have asked him how much time he will want off before his next job! So I guess he may be a freelance hydrographic surveyor now… he will have earned in 6 weeks exactly 2/3 of the annual salary of one of the salaried grad jobs he didn’t get 😱😱

DS2 still hasn't had any confirmation from his landlord and allegedly moves next weekend. DS1 has been sacked and his car has a dangerous fault so failed MOT.

Living my best life.

Fabulous @Delphigirl, he has learnt very quickly how to build his own stock worth.

Oh no @Piggywaspushed that's not good, any of it. Hope the house gets sorted ASAP and the car can be repaired. Sorry about DS1 and the job too.

Oh no what happened with ds1 @Piggywaspushed ?

Oh sigh. Everything is too much, really. The car is oddly less of a hassle because he doesn't have to drive it anywhere just now : but Halfords should not have let him leave their premises with a dangerous fault and now he can't drive it anywhere to fix it.

Re work - he had got overwhelmed last Thursday. He was moaning a lot by then. They were understaffed and he was left alone a lot. They gave him takes he couldn't do. He walked out without telling them and then didn't answer the phone. he did message them later that say and told them he would not be in on Friday either. They said 'fine. See you on Monday at 9am'. He was then sacked for gross misconduct. As he was still on probation they could do this.

It is so typical of him that he is fixated on Halfords' wrongdoing and not getting his car fixed! It looks like these repairs could be £600 and they told him one of them (airbag light) can only be done by a dealer.

Then we have 2 burying his head in the sand about this house.

I still work full time and do not need this crap!

Oh dear @Piggywaspushed that all sounds really stressful for you 😩

Halfords are a bit rubbish to be honest. Dd had a new tyre fitted at her service in August and within a couple of weeks it was going down. She took it back and it was their fault - something to do with a leaking seal?

If he can find a close ish garage he could still probably drive it there as long as he’s careful? We had an airbag light that came on all the time in our old car and we just ignored it in the end. Dealers are so expensive!

The job situation is more of a worry for you. It sounds like he has some ND/mental health issues which are creating anxiety? Does he need some support?

Don’t worry about ds2, if you can help it, I’m sure he’ll get in touch with his landlord at some point - and in a worst case scenario where it falls through, a Travelodge for a few days wouldn’t be the end of the world? It will sort itself out one way or another, and it sounds like Ds2 is usually on top of stuff?

I know the worry when they’re not dealing with things though 😬

He doesn't have a number for the landlord - just Spareroom messaging which this guy has now not responded to 3 times. I am tempted to sign up and send him a message enquiring about the room... he has paid a holding deposit but no actual deposit. He sent referees as requested.

DS1's car is illegal to drive (Halford's are being apologetic but it is miles away : I don't know why DS is so set on them. Cost probably). He put in for an autism assessment about a year ago and has never had a response but does have counselling and a work coach. His latest fixation is ANPR . This can automatically ping an alert that a car is dangerous/ MOT fail etc. His tax is also due soon.

It is going to cost him loads. He has also just renewed insurance.

I’m sorry @Piggy that all sounds really stressful.