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Homeless adult son

132 replies

Neodymium · 23/01/2026 21:01

My 29 year old stepson is likely to be homeless this week. It’s such a difficult situation - he has mental health issues but they are clusterb personality disorders so he doesn’t see himself as the problem. He is delusional. He refuses all medication except weed which he is a regular user. A lot of his delusional ideas are validated, unfortunately, by his mother eg medications ect are evil and bad.

he was in hospital recently and discharged. He refused treatment and eventually told them whatever so he could get out. The police had him admitted after his housemates called.

I have teenagers, I absolutely can not have him living here. Not a chance. Id leave dh before that happened. Dh agrees he can not live here.

his mother refuses to have him as well. She has another adult child who doesn’t like him. However she is very delusional about him being homeless and thinks he can easily just find somewhere. His current share house arrangement he’s been given notice to leave as the other tenants are frightened of him, there is police reports and the police are willing to come and remove him if he refuses to go. He is unlikely to try find another share house as he thinks he has rights where he is and is refusing to go ( he doesn’t have any rights, he just thinks he does). Likely come eviction day the police will be called to remove him, he will end up back in hospital and then discharged onto the street.

not really looking for advice on him. He’s unfortunately past the age of ‘youth’ homeless services so there isn’t much else particularly when he doesn’t want any treatment and doesn’t think he needs it. Dh however is struggling with the situation and seeing his son on the street will probably destroy him. So I just don’t know what to do to help dh.

OP posts:
SleafordSods · 10/02/2026 19:49

It does sound as though a long stint in Hospital is the only way of achieving some sort of normality for him. He sounds really, really unwell.

As horrible as it must have been sorting through his thibgs and speaking to his “housemates” at least you realise the full extent of his behaviour and won’t be tempted to have him live with you.

Neodymium · 14/02/2026 10:48

SleafordSods · 10/02/2026 19:49

It does sound as though a long stint in Hospital is the only way of achieving some sort of normality for him. He sounds really, really unwell.

As horrible as it must have been sorting through his thibgs and speaking to his “housemates” at least you realise the full extent of his behaviour and won’t be tempted to have him live with you.

yep It’s just a matter to get him there now.

OP posts:
Seajaye · 01/09/2026 11:07

?

HoneyChocolate · 01/09/2026 12:12

How is your ss now op?

PocketSand · 01/09/2026 15:05

OP does DSS actually have an NHS diagnosis? Of cluster B personality disorder? Has he been assessed for ASD or ADHD?

Regardless of diagnosis and qualification for section he seems to be very vulnerable. His survival in supported accommodation even if he can get it is not guaranteed. His chances of survival of street homelessness are very poor. How will your DH and your marriage cope if ‘tough love’ results in suicide? You have enough space that a coping 15 year old of yours can live in separate annex but a vulnerable adult child of DH is made homeless? Stop blaming the mother. The adult child is an adult. DH is still his father. He may be useless but your posts suggest he is not. Let him be a father. If you encourage him to disengage and his son dies your marriage will never recover.

Neodymium · 04/09/2026 14:13

HoneyChocolate · 01/09/2026 12:12

How is your ss now op?

Still on the street. Still taking lots of drugs. He messages dh incoherent things now and then. He still doesn’t have any official diagnosis and thinks that doctors are stupid and he is smarter than all of them.

to the other poster that said let him be a father or my marriage won’t survive. I would leave him tomorrow if he turned up with him here and said he was staying. Without a second thought. He is violent and aggressive and abuses drugs. There is no situation where I will expose my children to that. So if that meant leaving him then I’d leave him.

OP posts:
ExplodingSmittens · 04/09/2026 15:36

Neodymium · 04/09/2026 14:13

Still on the street. Still taking lots of drugs. He messages dh incoherent things now and then. He still doesn’t have any official diagnosis and thinks that doctors are stupid and he is smarter than all of them.

to the other poster that said let him be a father or my marriage won’t survive. I would leave him tomorrow if he turned up with him here and said he was staying. Without a second thought. He is violent and aggressive and abuses drugs. There is no situation where I will expose my children to that. So if that meant leaving him then I’d leave him.

I’m sorry to hear that he’s still heavily abusing drugs and is still on the streets. I do agree with the stand you’re taking though as I may have expressed before.

It does seem as though his situation is unlikely to change though. How is your DH coping?

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