My adult kids have no time for me at all

[RichardOnslowRoper]

I know I will have my arse handed to me.
That's why I am not in AIBU and have namechanged. Please be kind.

My adult kids are both very hardworking and driven. One is doing a very punishing Masters at uni 2 hours away. The other lives with me but in a demanding first job and has a boyfriend.

I barely see or speak to them. I understand it's very hard for young people these days, but is expecting them to go out for lunch or dinner once a month for a couple of hours say, too much?

I know you will all say:
to get hobbies
spend time with DH
make new friends.
travel

I have done all those. But it upsets me that if they have a crisis, I am the first one they call for help. But when all is ok, I am ignored. DH feels the same btw. DD for instance spends hours talking to her friends but doesn't have time for a coffee with me. I raised this nicely with her the other day, but to no avail.

Yes, I know it's better than them lying in bed all day and refusing to study or work.

@RichardOnslowRoper It's hard isn't it? I have kids very similar age and I can see and feel they are pulling away and doing their own thing. Even when they are at home, they go up to their rooms and talk to friends/play games. I am resigned to it and like you've mentioned I am doing all those things of joining groups, doing hobbies etc. I have probably been doing this for about three years now, the ironic thing is that in one hobby group, I am friendly with people the same age as my own children! I have to say it does help as keeping busy and making new social connections (it takes time and you have to keep going even when it feels you are getting nowhere) means I feel their absence less and is a good example to them that my life does not revolve around them and dh.