19 Year Old Lying to me

[hollyberrytree]

It was my daughter‘s idea to install Life360 on our phones so that it will be easy for meeting up when we were away. She knows I seldom look at my mobile as I work on aPC or I use an iPad.

She’s a second year university student living 4 hours from home and I have realised that she thinks I can no longer see the Life360 details. But I can.

She’s told me ( We have an ongoing chat on Facebook messenger, we don’t phone) -she’s in her university hometown but I can see she’s gone to stay with her boyfriend. And now today they’ve left there and gone on another long journey about 150 miles away.
We havent met the boyfriend yet. But I’ve expressed no disapproval whatsoever in fact he sounds quite nice. They have been together since September

This isn’t the first time I’ve caught a lie A few weeks ago she went to stay at the boyfriend’s university which is four hours away from her uni but again she pretended she was still at uni. This was over a weekend so perhaps less important.
The following weekend she was there again but told me and I didn’t let on. I just said have a lovely time and paid for their lunch at Wetherspoons!

If she wants to miss uni then that’s one thing but it’s the lying that is another. She is actively telling me she’s doing something so it’s not as if she’s just not mentioned she’s gone somewhere

What shall I do? She supposed to be coming home on Saturday for Christmas.

If she is lying because she thinks you would disapprove then a short conversation could sort that out. Once she understand that you prefer to know where she is in case she is in any trouble, I think she will understand. I have 4 kids aged between 43 and 40 and whenever they are away from home they are happy to give me a friend's number in case they have a phone incident. It's actually come in handy a couple of times as in stuck in end-of-the-world airports after flight cancellations !

I used to tell my mum I was studying for A levels in the library. I used to go for a while then get the bus to my boyfriend 's house for and afternoon of fun.

When I met my DH at uni I didn’t let on to parents how serious we were for ages - I’d go and stay with him and not tell them (& yes probably did tell the odd porkie if I didn’t want them to find out). Accommodation of wanting independence not wanting them to know about my love life and just not being ready to share how serious we were until I was 100% sure.

it’s time to uninstall the app OP and step back.

I’m Mum of a 19 year old at uni. The lying would really bother me. I also get the issue of you funding her, I think people don’t realise the extent of funding parents are often giving. Eg I pay my daughter’s yr2 rent £700 a month. Her flatmate didn’t got to uni all semester one, instead she was staying with a lad at a different uni she met on hinge. Her dad was paying her rent oblivious to this. Obviously an extreme example but that girl was effectively getting money from family under false pretences. That said I don’t track my dd. I’d talk to dd. I find car or out somewhere neutral good for them speaking.
Just say I can see your location. Should I delete it. You are entitled to your private life and I’m happy if you are happy with bf. I’d rather you told me where you were for safety.