Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

On holiday in Turkey so catching up. Sorry to hear of all this crap. Summarised so well by Ealingmum re mum's forever fighting for our dc: crazy, Picc, Decorate, handmade.
I suspect most of are also on that list, at some point. (I seem to spend my whole life fighting someone).

How is dd baring up Mummy? (I had it many years ago (relatively mildly admittedly)and was completely delirious, out of it for nearly 3 days. thought I was having a constant diabetic hypo, but wasn't).

@mummyinbeds yours do seem to keep you on your toes! Glad she is feeling a bit better now and as was said above, the barefoot doctor will be very experienced with malaria at least.

You should definitely feel very proud of her @mummyinbeds ! Hope she's better soon.

@shimy Lancaster seemed very nice, lovely campus surrounded by green, but much quieter than Loughborough - all the students answered questions if approached, but they were all seemingly quite introverted and very serious! And we talked to a lot of them, as ds wanted to give the place a really good chance.. I think the very boring tour of the gym, by a girl who mainly wanted to tell us about all the different pricing options, was the final nail in the coffin for ds! And even the guys in the gym looked quite nerdy and not exactly the serious lifting types that ds would hang round with. The PPE course is administered by the Philosophy dept and so we heard mainly about Phil - and it seemed very academic, there was very little mention of employability and lots of mention of all the different European specialisms of the staff! So it was a nice place and I could see it would be perfect for lots of young people - it had a 'quiet/studious comprehensive student' vibe to me - but not for my ds.

Ds is an unusual mix of powerlifter/thrill seeker (the current obsession is cliff jumping), deep thinker (listens to Theology/Philosophy podcasts for fun), highly driven in terms of wanting to get a good grad job, very very sociable and outgoing but not a drinker/clubber. So he's put off going to the big party unis, but also the quieter places don't suit. Loughborough seemed perfect, very lively and sociable, lots of focus on internships/placement years, and full of people who are 'locked in' as ds puts it, but who knows if it will be in clearing at his grades.

Wow @mummyinbeds im so sorry to hear about your DD’s malaria. Treatment sounds a bit eyebrow raising but she obviously trusts him and is sensible. Fingers crossed for a swift recovery and that she can continue as planned. That is so fantastic about the visit from the father, quite put a lump on my throat. She is clearly changing lives 💐

@crazycrofter your DS sounds such a brilliant energetic and interesting person - it sounds like he has made a really well thought out choice. I look forward to hearing how it goes over the next 3 years!

On the subject of mothers forever fighting for their children (per @Oblomov25 , @ealingwestmum ) I am supporting ds1 in a complaint against his immediate manager, who when he heard ds1 challenge a colleague at his level about his appalling homophobic language, laid into DS1 calling him a “woke liberal-elite cnt” and that he “didn’t fit into the team” if he was going to “crusade on behalf of fggots”.
Yes, that was the manager.
So there’s that.

Ps @Oblomov25 - hope you are having a fab time in turkey!

Wow. Just wow @Delphigirl! it is so difficult to remain optimistic in celebrating people as the individuals they all are when you hear this type of behaviour. I am so sorry he is experiencing this. Does his employer know he picked the wrong lawyer to mess with?

@mummyinbeds - hope your DD is feeling better - sounds v stressful for you and awful for her.

@Delphigirl wow - just wow. I am stunned that is a workplace in 2025. How absolutely appalling.

DS graduation on Friday. I'm pretty sure he has only just left nursery so how did that happen....

@ealingwestmum - we crossed wows!

Hehe, I always knew we thought alike @craggyrat 😂

I am so excited for those of you with graduation celebrations to look forward to. Agree it’s zipped by so quickly!

Wow @Delphigirl that’s appalling! Well done him for standing up against bullying. Good luck with supporting him, he’s lucky to have your expertise! Let’s hope that manager gets dealt with appropriately and is out of there ASAP!

The thing is he has one more day in the office then he is going on holiday for 2 weeks and when he returns he is putting in his notice as he’s going to do a masters, so he doesn’t really care what the outcome of the complaint is. He is just so outraged by the lurch to the far right in the office and the casual homophobic sexist and racist language that is becoming normal, and the fact that he is bullied and othered for not accepting it. The formal complaint is his way or regaining control and rebuilding his confidence. It has done him a world of good to see senior management run around like headless chickens trying to address it.

So important, it’s a great strategy @Delphigirl. I hope he has a fabulous holiday, he deserves it.

Thanks so much @ealingwestmum . He has a meeting to discuss the complaint on Thursday and off on holiday on Fri - I will update then!

Our weekend was a whirlwind trip to Belfast to drop off DD (more like get her start up shopping for her flat share), catch up with F&F around the north and get her dispatched from there to Manchester for her day 1 today, she’ll return back to Belfast this evening and stay I think for the next 6 weeks.

I’m not sure if there any NI folk on here, last time I was there was circa 10 years ago. It still remains THE most friendliest place I have ever been to. People just talk to you, properly sincere with it too. 🤞 it works out for her.

Exciting @ealing! hope she has a tremendous time and it turns out to be somewhere she would like to work as a grad. Never been to NI which is a failing I must remedy.

Good for him @Delphigirl ! They should be panicking! Glad he’s not got to stay there much longer.

Hope dd has a great experience @ealingwestmum ! I’ve never been to NI but Ds is going there next weekend to see some friends he met in NZ and do some cliff jumping.

Hope she has an amazing time in NI @ealingwestmum . I've been a few times from work and I absolutely love it

Good grief Delphi. What awful words.

Just read back. OMG delphi! Sadly there has been an increase in that kind of language, an emboldening. I'm glad your boy is woke!

I haven’t even given you the rest of what was said. It is so much worse. I did enjoy marshalling it all into a dispassionate entirely factual utterly appalling few paragraphs in the complaint letter though (with judicious reference to the contemporaneous note DS had taken and emailed to himself within 10 minutes of leaving the event)…
He sent the email at 4.30 on Friday to the head of dept and HR and got a very careful response at 9pm so he was thrilled to know he had ruined their evening and their weekend. Atta boy.

I'm utterly shocked @Delphigirl and also pleased I work for the lovely organisation I do. We have so many training sessions on behaviour and nothing offensive is tolerated at all. Well done to your DS for calling it out.

Just got a message from DS to say he has driven 9 hours from Southern Germany today (towing his giant trailer and in this heat) and is now on the ferry. He was originally booked on the 11pm ferry. He should be home before midnight! Oh, and he also got his final result for his degree today, a first!

Could not be prouder, but I will be more relieved when he is home!

Yay yay yay yay! What a dude! You must be incredibly proud of him. Amazing!

Fantastic @Aslockton, happy homecoming tonight, super well done on his final classification!