Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

That's fantastic @Aslockton - amazing achievements all round for your DS!

Well done Aslockton Jr!

@crazy Thank you for that detailed & funny comparison. DS1 would've been one of the nerdy guys in the gym had he gone there. It seems there are clear differences between them (this is why a visit is always good) and your ds knows which one is his. Good for him.

@Delphigirl What a nasty manager, is he a brick layer (no offence to any builders here) but it's the type of language i associate with hyper masculine type work.

@Aslockton Congratulations on your DS's degree. Fabulous!

My jaw is on the floor @Delphigirl genuinely stunned at your post, and you say there was even more??! Well done to your son for sticking his head above the parapet, I wish more people would be that brave, and well done you for helping him. I hope he has an amazing holiday.

@ealingwestmum my Dad is from Belfast and so half of my family are over there. I haven’t been for about 5 years though so really should find the time to get over again. Hope you DD enjoys it.

@Aslockton massive congratulations to your DS, another great result! 🎉 And good on him for that driving!

@mummyinbeds hope your DD is feeling better soon.

No he’s a 34 year old oxbridge grad strategic communications professional!

I can exactly imagine the type, tbh.

Ugh @Delphigirl 😫

@Aslockton that's amazing, well done to your lad, what a star!

@shimy that's funny! To be honest, I think I'd have loved Lancaster at 18/19 too!

@Delphigirl I like your DS's style and moral compass.

@Aslockton Congratulations to your DS on his first!

Gosh, Delphi. I hope that guy gets an absolute bollocking. That is dreadful. Don’t really know why I’m shocked though, I think it’s the Trump effect.
We are really really sad today. When we found ourselves with a very traumatised and withdrawn 14 year old, she didn't ask for anything, showed no interest in anything, but she kind of liked our animals and one day , 6 weeks in, she asked if she could have a dog. I said no, because we had 2 dogs and 2 cats, and she immediately apologised for even asking and said of course she didn’t want a dog. She was in school for 1 hour a day and we went every day for a week to the local dog rescues. We found him at the worst place. Wire kennels exposed to the elements, it was the Beast from the East March. He had no name, he was filthy, skinny, scarred. This is the one she said. And I said that half starved neglected, decrepit old thing, why? And she looked at me and said yes what could I possibly have in common with him? So we brought him home and with a lot of care and love he became the sweetest , prettiest little lemon beagle, and she grew into a well balanced lovely young woman. They helped each other so much. And she held him while he died today. Sorry. I know you’ll all get it.

Oh golly zebra all of life is encompassed in your beautiful post. I’m crying and I have to go into court in a second. Big big hugs to you all.

Oh my @Zebracat. I am sorry for you all, but what a fabulous choice of a partner your girl made. Much love.

Oh my goodness @Zebracat I'm sorry for the loss of DDog but what an amazing journey for him and your girl.

@Aslockton congratulations to DS, what a summer he's having!

@Delphigirl sounds as though DS1 takes after his mother, more power to his elbow.

Not much to report here, driving test imminent, degree results still pending.

Oh @zebracat you've made me cry too. How beautiful that they helped each other; I'm so sorry for your loss and for dd of course - so glad she could be there at the end.

Well done Aslockton ds!
Zebra that is so sad, but so sweet.

Actually, a question. Has anyone here's DC used Clearing on results day? DD id worried about one of her papers and I have suggested she needs to prepare for clearing. I assumed you prepare, if you don't get in then hit the phones as soon as you've got your results and go from there, but the UCAS website says talk to your college first. I am a bit nervous because DD's college login doesn't work and she is being all chilled and saying oh, they'll be open at 8 I'll just go in, but what if there are masses of them all wanting to talk to college? I keep nagging her to sort the login, but no <eyeroll>.

Oh! @Zebracat That's so sad but the story is powerful and will stay with her for the rest of her life. They journeyed together and blossomed, isn't that just life?.

@ExtensivelyDecorating Haven't done Clearing before but certainly prepared for it and you are right. You need to be ready to hit the phones. Schools of course do help but they will be helping many other students too and all the time spent travelling to school etc frankly i'd rather be on the phone. The best pickings go so very quickly as soon as lines open.

@Delphigirl He's a nasty bully!

Thank you @Shimy the college is 25 mins drive through busy traffic too (guess who would be driving), sometimes DD can be hard work.

We didn't need to prepare for it with DS as his offer was so low as to be effectively unconditional and he already pretty well knew his BTEC results (and his course was in clearing anyway).

I think you'll know @ExtensivelyDecorating first thing whether she's got in, so I would want to get straight on the phones - a journey to college would be a waste. Although she won't have her actual results will she? Are you able to call the college to get them/will she get them via email? I suppose you can be on the phone at college, as long as they're opening at 8, but I seem to remember ds' school opened at 9 last year.

We're also planning for clearing, so I'm assuming ds now needs to reject his firm choice, which he's previously accepted? Is that something you can do in UCAS?

I'm not sure how it works for that @crazycrofter . I am absolutely not relying on phoning from college, the reception is very poor there as I know from many occasions whiling away time in the car park.

Yes, we'll know first thing whether she gets in, but not the actual results. I will have to have words with her but she can be very stubborn. Luckily we have a few weeks so I can have a good go now and then back off a bit to give her time to come round. I have been telling her to get the login sorted before the end of term though and would she listen, no.

@Zebracat well that's broken my heart this afternoon, I'm sorry for the loss of your/her DDog. A sad start to a much happier life. x

Regarding clearing, does your college not email results out? Ours started this at Covid time and have continued since with GCSEs and A Levels. It seems an inherently sensible thing to do to save people trekking into school when they need to be on the phone at home.

I don't know TBH, last year when she had her first lot she wasn't applying to uni so she just went in and picked them up. They don't send any info to parents and DS went somewhere else, but he didn't get his by email, he had to log onto a portal. I don't know any other parents of DCs at that college, all my friends DCs went elsewhere. I'm sure it is all sortable but DD's relaxed attitude and her tendency to lose important emails drive me a bit nuts as I am someone who likes to Be Prepared.

Wow, misery loves company , but I didnt mean to make everyone cry. He was a good dog and he gave us so much. I found a pic. Thank you all so much for your kind words. Writing it out helped me too.