Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

I too am interested in the 'getting through your 50's' idea.
I was 56 two weeks ago 🤞😁
Am still feeling down about it though, although probably unreasonably. I always try to make everyone else's birthdays special. Both DCs gave me cards very late in the day. DD didn't get me a present, DS again got late in the day flowers from Tesco's. DH 'gave' me a donation to a charity that I have never shown any interest in. We had a family meal in his favourite local restaurant - I wasn't asked where I would like to go.

Happy birthday @Shimy - hope yours is way better than mine!

Oh dear @Seeline . I had a run in with my lot a few years ago, my birthday is late Feb and at one point I must have said that I liked a particular type of chocolates, well I got them for Valentines, then my birthday, then Mothers Day, no thought given just a tick box exercise, this happened two years in a row and then I pointed out that birthday gifts are meant to be individual, thought about etc not just grabbed in Sainsbos at the last minute. I direct them now, I give the DCs a list of books I'd like and get DH to organise tickets for a show or similar. I'm 57 so I like the getting through your 50s idea too.

@Seeline wry smile at your birthday restaurant! Last year DH arranged to get DSs and their GFs over and they all cooked for me. But they cooked his favourite food, bought twice as much as they needed of everything, and told me to relax in the sitting room whilst they did the work, but I could hear their laughter and would rather have been in the kitchen - and he is not a great cook!

I am also 56 and glad to know that if I make it to 60 the outlook is good!

@ealingwestmum my mum comes from Calcutta, but I have never been there. We did a fabulous trip a few years ago and got the first class sleeper train from Delhi to Mumbai, it was really excellent, staff came and cooked for us in our compartment and we felt so spoiled, would thoroughly recommend if you can get first class. Second Class AC is also fun, but not luxurious, we loved the chai sellers and other people selling delicious stuff along the train, but my parents only liked the first class.

Hehe, lots of us either in or soon to be in the 56 club :)

I hope your mum has happy memories still of Calcutta Monkey. I remember clearly the chaos of it all, it was always monsoon season (summer hols) when we went and we’d be stuck knee length of water (and the rest) trying to get home from somewhere like Dum Dum market! I think it may have been too much for DH and DD, but I never say never.

The trains experience is really something to experience I agree! I’m not sure I could stomach the standard classes again against vs AC 1st, but in the early years it’s all mum could afford for us, I remember the chai being excellent in between stops :)
DD is on her spring insight this week. Hope she enjoys it. I was expecting there to be lots of young women on it, but apparently only 6 at her location, with her being the only one for the consulting stream.

I'm feeling rather young in this group - I'm only 47! Hope dd enjoys her week @ealingwestmum . Sorry about your birthday @Seeline . I generally get similar types of gifts on each occasion - mugs, candles, chocolate etc! Dd makes an effort though and always does a lovely Moonpig card. Ds isn't great though!

O wow! I didn't know there were so many happy birthdays waiting for me . Thanks all.
Day's going well so far, just got back from the hairdressers and going out to dinner later on. Nice gifts from the boys. Since ds1 started working gifts of 'I love u' mugs, small artificial plants and tiny teddies have ceased, I got a lovely Kate Spade bracelet. DS2 is also upping his game and got me a chopping board...with an inscription about ingredients for a great mum at the back. I even got balloons!!! hurrah!!

Oh! @Seeline, I've just seen that you said you didn't haven't such a great birthday! i think sometimes they just need to be told outright, that their grifts were uninspiring and they didnt put much effort into anything. Why should you slave around trying to make everyone else's b'day glam and then you get rubbish in return? Pls don't feel down, sometimes our loved ones are a bit complacent. I think my lot had a bit of shock when I went into hospital over Xmas and they finally realized how much i do to make everything great for them and that I am not infallible after all. They put a bit more effort into everything as after that.

So a very happy belated birthday to you and wishing you many more yrs, may you have all your heart desires.

@crazycrofter You're nearly there! I feel getting to 50 is such a privilege. People are usually so anti getting old but I fully embrace it. I love getting older because each yrs means I've left some stress of life behind e.g what to study, what career? is he the one or not?, stress of wedding, stress of being pregnant, raising children, uni or no uni? et etc they can all bugger of and leave me alone, I wouldn't want to be young again for anything. Probably because i had such a crap youth perhaps if I had a ball i'd feel different.

My husband's 47 Crazy. I know I know, and even after 25 years of marriage that damn gap is still not closing...

Oh happy birthday @Shimy 🎂
And @Seeline a very belated happy birthday! Sorry it wasn't so brilliant to
Am I the granny of this thread at 60😄?

I lie about my age to myself...

Happy Birthday @Shimy

Aged 51, it’s the first time I feel like it’s a disadvantage to be younger. I have more of my 50s to get through.

Sorry about the lack of birthday thought @Seeline. Sometimes they are so used to us doing everything that they just don’t think when the boot is on the other foot.

Coasting towards 57 here... summer of love baby! DS is patchy with presents. Veers between amazing - first edition of favourite books - to candles..... hmmm

I'm still getting through my 40s too @crazycrofter but it's good to know the 50s are great as lots on here can attest to so no dread from me for them or from DH who gets there before me but only just.

Happy birthday wishes to those who are celebrating this week. May all your wishes be fulfilled 🥳

In Cambridge having a mini break at the mo and it's gorgeous here - my first time! Hoping to punt down the backs later if not too windy 🤞

Happy Birthday Shimy!

We are at DS1's graduation in Lincoln. It's not till 7.30. Bit bored . Very very cold.

A big milestone though Piggy; hope you get into the warm soon after!

How exciting @Piggywaspushed. Enjoy your evening and celebration after no doubt. Congratulations to your DS1 👏

Enjoy your evening @Piggywaspushed . Very cold up north. About 4 degrees at the moment

@Piggywaspushed Hopefully a great family memory being made this evening. Enjoy!

@Piggywaspushed Wishing you a lovely evening. How exciting and end of an era with academic study.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I had a lovely evening yesterday and not such a nice one today unfortunately.

Are there any of you who use 'Rated People' or Bark? please please be extra cautious when getting quotes. I just had someone round to do a quote for some damp. I told him i need to discuss it withmy DH and will be in touch he dug his heels in and continued to haggle the price and wouldn't leave, eventually he did but i could tell he was furious. Since then I've received threats from him to pay him his coming out charge (there is no charge to get a quote from rated people) he has messaged to do me 'damage', 'I'm on my way, look out of your window' etc voicemails and Messages. It's now been escalated to the police.

I've done a bit of cross checking of things and discovered:

His name given to me when he arrived doesn't match the name that associated with his number.
The company name under which he messaged, does not match the company name he's registered under on rated people.
He has no ratings --although i normally only check this when about to award someone a job, not just for quotes.
He has scared the living daylights out of us and spoiled our quiet evening and we're all on edge. So please be extra cautious when inviting people in to give quotes not just jobs.

That's awful @Shimy glad you've contacted the police. Sounds like a complete nightmare. We are fortunate to have lived here a long time and generally find people by word of mouth now but I remember in the early days here it was a complete lottery finding tradespeople.

Wow. I’m so sorry to hear what an horribly intimidating experience you have all endured! Hope you are ok.

Thank you for the heads up. It really is a dreadful state of affairs of what do you trust these days :(

How exciting @Piggywaspushed . We have had an invitation to graduation for DS as he is on a 2 year foundation degree but is planning to stay a year to top up to BSc so we're not sure, it's not till Sept. Been reading his dissertation proposal tonight, it has come round quickly.

That sounds awful @Shimy ! We find it very difficult just getting people to come and quote, so it's quite possible that we would end up in that situation. Thanks for the warning and hopefully he'll get tired of intimidating you.

When I saw the messages i was shaking but calmed down now. Its just really uncomfortable knowing they've been inside your house & has my number. No idea if he is local or not. I've used trademen from these agencies before and they've all been lovely so don't let it put you off.