Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

Our brief interludes are the same Crazy. So long as she leaves me a calendar print off of when she’s HOME vs not, we carry on independently, regardless of her wanderlust.

She has developed her love of short breaks from us though, and will join us whenever it fits in. We’re off to India mid May - she’s coming with us. Completely the wrong time to go but diaries dictate timing. I haven’t been back in over 25 years, it’s my native homeland though I’ve been in the UK for 55 years.

@Shimy Lots of friends with serious health issues here too. I think it's age and better diagnostic testing. A GP friend reckons if you get through your 50s you'll probably get another 25 years.

@OublietteBravo Very impressed they kept their heads and such a great outcome.

@craggyrat Keep us posted! We were glad to stay by the marina as it was quieter and local buses were frequent.

@crazycrofter Please don't be sad. MN is like the rest of social media we share the interesting bits. When home DS is out with friends 6 nights out of 7. This weekend he's been back at uni for a sports dinner. Bottom line is he has no spare cash for a holiday so a freebie with mum starts to look attractive!

Yes @ealingwestmum dd tells me all her movements in advance but then gets very annoyed if I can’t remember exactly who she’s going with and where to from memory! Whereas ds tells me absolutely nothing, in fact I don’t think he really knows what he’s doing more than a day ahead, which is a bit more stressful. He’s apparently travelling round the world next year (he intends to try to do all the continents!) and I know I won’t hear from him unless he needs something!

Enjoy your trip to India! Do you have much family there now?

Glad you had a good time with him @EwwSprouts ! I’m pretty sure dd would come with me if I was paying and we were four somewhere nice, she does accompany me to gigs to be fair. I’m not sure about ds 🤔🤣

*going not four!

@ealingwestmum I am envious of India. I have friends who go back to see elderly relatives and other friends who have been as tourists. Which part if that's not too personal? Kerala seems highly rated.

@crazycrofter it does work both ways, I am sad that mine aren't going off on holiday with friends or to festivals, working away from home etc and I worry that they aren't as independent as others their age. Luckily we've all got each other on here to lend a listening, non-judgemental ear.

I went more frequently as a child Crazy, my dad died at 39 (I was 5) and the expectation was that mum moved back with me and my brother. She fought the pressure to honour the ‘dream’ from her marriage and thankfully remained in UK.

Last year she lost all her siblings in India like dominos which hit her hard. She’s too frail and now has no incentive to go back.

Eww, we’re going for a week only. I’m trying to get a more contemporary 4 nights with DH and DD in Mumbai and then 2 days Delhi where any cousins who want to meet us can come to one location; the duty but necessary part on behalf of mum. I couldn’t fit in Calcutta on top which is where I am most familiar from younger days!

I am also convinced DD only comes with us as she doesn’t have to self fund :)

Kerala is lovely I believe Eww, I just don’t do boats but DH and I went to Madras/Chennai 25 years ago, loved it. Obviously Golden Triangle in Rajasthan is a good route to cover the main sites too a good beginner point to India.

@ealingwestmum BIL loved the Golden Triangle, Also went to Ranthambore to see the tigers but they remained hidden.

There was a 3 parter finished last week on the Oberoi group with tiger searching there! so, so difficult to actually see them in action!

I can definitely recommend their hotels though. Oh the days of disposal income pre children 😬

With you on that!

India sounds amazing! Dd says her best school friend will take her there one day, as her family are all there. Not sure where though!

@EffortlessDistraction i know, and I think we all worry regardless don’t we? They will all get there in the end (‘there’ being whatever sort of life they want, as we’re not all made for mad socialising and lots of travelling! I quite like the quiet life myself!). Your ds has moved away from home, which is a huge milestone. Is dd applying to unis, I can’t remember?

Sorry @EffortlessDistraction i see you said your dd is having a gap year! Then what, does she know?

@crazycrofter she says she wants to go to uni but she doesn’t know which one or what she wants to study. She didn’t apply this year because of that also only taking 2 A levels this summer. The gap year will be taken up with the Eng Lit A level that she started in Sept after ditching one of her others, EPQ and an AS level, plus hopefully some part time work. You may have a point about us not all being the same, I am very sociable indeed and go out all the time (I was like your DD at the same age by the sounds of things). So there is quite a contrast between me and my DD. She’s happy though so I should stop worrying really and I am so proud of what DS has achieved, uni, a job, learning to drive (work in progress that one), lots of hobbies and a decent social life. I am just one of life’s worriers.

All these travel tales sound fabulous . I didn’t do much international travel (apart from family holidays, we went to France, Germany, Netherlands, Scandinavia) until I had graduated because short breaks abroad weren’t so much of a thing then, no budget airlines, but after that I travelled round New Zealand for 6 weeks mostly on my own, interrailed round Scandinavia with a friend, lots of UK holidays with friends, camping and youth hostelling. DH isn’t an adventurous traveller and although he does enjoy holidays he wouldn’t miss them if he didn’t have them, so it tends to be down to me to push it all along and organise them. I don’t think I’d ever get him to Asia though. Before I met him I went to Iceland on one of those group travel holidays and had an amazing time, I can see me starting to do that again in the next few years.

It’s blowing a gale and absolutely tipping it down. I’m so glad DD drove back yesterday, and isn’t travelling in today’s storm!

Dd's holiday is not going so well! They got to the Airbnb last night to find it was in a really dodgy area, loads of prostitutes around, and full of dust, which she's allergic to. They've booked a new place in Rome and got credit from Airbnb - but she could do with the cash really. And their airport shuffle bus booking didn't work, so she had to spend £40 on the train and this morning they forgot to buy a train ticket and got fined £20. So all in all, a very expensive experience!

@EffortlessDistraction it sounds like you and I swapped daughters! 😂I'm quite an introvert and not adventurous at all!

All a good learning experience, shame about the added expenses though @crazycrofter

The weather is foul here too, but is forecast to be lovely and sunny later.

@EwwSprouts I like the idea if you get through your 50s you're onto a winner. I'll hold on to that, 55yrs tomorrow!

@ealingwestmum Travelling to India sounds amazing and full on in equal measure. Hope you see all your cousins

@crazycrofter Shame about DD's holiday but a great learning experience for her. Hopefully they will find a better place and still go on to enjoy their holiday. The experience in Rome will probably earse the discomfort of the first air bnb.

@EffortlessDistraction When I worked for the NHS yrs ago, we used to have 'bring your DDs to work day' which was essentially to introduce girls to different careers paths. I thought it was a great initiative and wondered why more organisations didn't do it, I'm not even sure the NHS still do it. It was very useful for young people like your DD who aren't sure yet.

Happy birthday for tomorrow Shimy!

Hope her trip gets better with no more mishaps Crazy!

@Shimy - happy birthday for tomorrow

@Shimy Happy Birthday! I did take DD to work for a day about 18 months ago (I work for a small biotech company) and she found it all went over her head a bit. She did a week's work experience with DH last year (he works for another small scientific company) and it convinced her she didn't want to be a scientist, having spent about a year saying biomedical science was what she wanted to do 🤦‍♀️. So I'm glad she did come in and find out rather than having gone further and applied for the degrees.

Happy birthday @Shimy ! 🎉🎂🍾🥂

Happy birthday @shimy!

Wishing you a lovely birthday @Shimy 🎂🎉