Thread 49 - Covid GCSE Cohort - The nights are drawing in...

[OrangeSpicedBun]

Autumn 🍂 well and truly underway, has been chilly this week !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread :

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4880640-thread-48-covid-gcse-cohort-summer-before-year-2-uni?latest=1

How long was your DH off work @Delphigirl ? That's another worry, DH runs a small business (in partnership with others) and it would be significantly affected by a long absence. It's not really possible to WFH either.

@Alsoplayspiccolo oh no, so sorry to hear your news. Hope it is not as bad as you fear. Thinking of you. 💪🌺

@EerilyDecorated the DH of a GP friend I do regular dog walks with had it at the end of 2022, had an operation just before Christmas and barely had any extra time off. There was a fair bit of indignity with incontinence pads needed and I am not sure when erectile function came back (or whether it has, TMI!), but the cancer was dealt with very quickly.

DH also works for himself. Completely off for 2 weeks, back on phone / computer but at home for third week with regular afternoon naps, went to office and a few offsite meetings otherwise wfh 4th week and slightly overdid it, but then was on holiday weeks 5 and 6 and fine after that.

So if he really can’t work from home I would say stay completely off for 3 weeks and phased return over the next two

Thanks @Monkey2001 and @Delphigirl and all others for kind words. Although DH's work isn't physically strenuous he's on his feet most of the day, it's only partially desk-based (hence not much WFH, he makes things). When I had prolapse surgery 10 years ago, I was off completely for about 6 weeks because I couldn't sit comfortably in an office chair for any length of time till then. Going to try not to worry about it for now, easier said than done though.

@Alsoplayspiccolo Sorry to hear your news, thinking of you.

@EerilyDecorated and @Alsoplayspiccolo sending hugs to you both. x

Thinking of you @EerilyDecorated and @Alsoplayspiccolo and sending positive thoughts your way. Thank goodness for these routine check ups.

Thanks all, you are a lovely bunch. DH's dad said to him a couple of years ago (fortunately in my hearing) that he ought to have a regular PSA test as both he and DBIL had it, I don't think DH would ever have got round to it but I did nag him quite a bit having heard that, glad I did now.

Sorry to hear this @Alsoplayspiccolo.
Hugs to both Pic and Decorated.

We could all do with some good news.

Thanks so much for all the kind, positive wishes. I feel guilty that I haven't managed to post much over the last few months, so I really do appreciate the rallying of support.
DH had to go away for work immediately after yesterday's hospital appointment, and although DD's here, it's good to have somewhere to talk.

Sorry to hear your worrying news piccolo

Sorry to hear about the worrying news and waitings @Alsoplayspiccolo and @EerilyDecorated. We are always here for those thoughts you want to get out somewhere. Sending solidarity

Does anyone have experience of trying to get a transfer between NHS departments? DD is waiting on fracture clinic here - 300 miles from Uni! Have already had to reschedule an appointment as she has an exam next week in York when they want to see her here - the other end of the country 🙁 so will need to take her back for exams, then bring her back for appointment, then take her back for the next exam..... Not sure what will happen once lectures start. She has already said there is no way she can miss any lectures so might need to invent a working portal between the two worlds 🤦

Where is she registered with a GP @handmademitlove ? A few years ago DS broke his wrist on holiday in the UK, it was the last day so they put him in a half cast in A&E and told us to contact our GP as soon as we got home to be referred into our home fracture clinic. So maybe if her GP is in York they could coordinate it? Or maybe call 111 and see what they say.

@EerilyDecorated she is still registered here due to ongoing needs - she really dislikes medics so there is no way that she will go anywhere near a GP on her own, so didn't seem much point! At least here she trusts her GP and the practice nurse... But not much help with ongoing issues when she is not here!
I am sure people told me parenting got easier as they got older.... Not feeling that right now 😟

Felt a bit bad that I couldn't wave DD off today... we all had to be in at work, so she took the bus to the station, and then the train back to uni (I hate to think how much time she's spent sitting in Peterborough station waiting to change...). On the other hand, a few years ago her anxiety prevented her doing things like that! Apparently she dropped her bags off and then headed straight to the Ceramics Studio to collect her pottery that had been fired over the break; they only run the kilns when they have a full load. So, right back to business as usual.

That's quite a dilemma, handmademitlove. Not as pressing as your dd's current situation, but my dd has a similar problem with continuing care for ADH D - she's at home almost as much as she's at uni, so doesn't want to move care up to Birmingham, but that means she can't just get a GP appointment or prescriptions up there.
Not sure what the answer is for your dd but you have my sympathy.

It definitely seems that whether your DC chooses to stay registered with GP at home, or changes to uni town, it's always the wrong decision!!! DD moved registration (and postal vote, too) to her uni location and sometimes remembers to re-direct prescription orders when she's home for the holidays.

I'm not sure what the answer is @handmademitlove. We have a similar situation here as I've just had to cancel dd's appt. with the hand clinic, as she can't make it back, due to numerous January deadlines. But your dd's situation is more serious & needs imminent treatment/diagnosis surely?
Can she present at A&E? Some have gps that will triage you first. She needs a scan I think you stated earlier?

This adulting lark is hard! Despite adding notes at a&E that she is autistic and would like me to be her main contact (as she won't answer her phone to strangers!) they keep ringing her, then I have to call back 🙄 and they make no allowances for her autism at all. When they were little, it was much easier as they would listen to me as her parent, but it is almost like they think that once they turn 18, the autism magically disappears and no adjustments are needed. People assume that if they can go to university, they don't need any support to get through life .. sorry - rant over! Could be a long week......

DD is packing ready to go back this weekend. She heard today that she got a 1st for last term’s group project, so she’s pretty happy at the moment.

@OublietteBravo well done to your dd! And @PhotoDad I understand the achievement in taking the journey - DD is similar and it is lovely to see them flourish 🙂

@Cantonet we started in A&E. Now got an appointment with the orthopaedic team for 10 days time, who may decide on more scans - the ultrasound she had yesterday ruled out a tendon rupture so now they don't know what is wrong... As the medic I spoke to today said, in some ways at least if it is straightforward, there is a clear treatment plan and you know where you are. When they don't know, it is all a bit harder to manage!

But given everyone else's situation, and the news this week of the death of one of dd2's friends, I am grateful this is not anything life-threatening, just inconvenient. And count my blessings.

Sympathies re medical logistics, DD and I are planning to go to our GP surgery one day next week to get all her contact details updated and make sure they have on record that I can speak for her re the ADHD referral. At the moment they have her phone number and DH's, he knows literally nothing about anything to do with this as he leaves it all to me (I think he's ADHD too) and it is hard for DD to take calls during the day at college whereas I can. I am glad she's planning a gap year so hopefully if she does need medication we've got a bit of time.