Thread 49 - Covid GCSE Cohort - The nights are drawing in...

[OrangeSpicedBun]

Autumn 🍂 well and truly underway, has been chilly this week !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread :

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4880640-thread-48-covid-gcse-cohort-summer-before-year-2-uni?latest=1

DS writing final essay of the term. 7 down 1 to go and we collect him week Sunday. This term has gone so quickly.

Funeral for FIL was yesterday. DS had been really ill in the days leading up to it and we thought he might not be able to attend. Two clear Covid tests later, he decided to come. Thankfully, he was a bit less obviously ill yesterday. The poor boys were in bits in the church- DS1 the minute he saw the photo on the order of serine and then both of them when the eulogy mentioned them. Snot everywhere and muggins forgot tissues...

DS has gone back this morning and has concert and curry tonight so hopefully that will revive him.

Still no house sorted but he is trying various avenues.

Aw sorry to hear that @Piggywaspushed , they must have had a special relationship with him.

Is ds going to share with different friends next year?

Dd and friends have signed for next year’s house. A six bed, £99 a week so not too bad. There’s one tiny room which no one wants so they’re going to make that one slightly cheaper.

She’s been back home yet again for a gig and has just left for London to visit friends and the boyfriend.

He fell out with his nasty housemates back in September r crazy.

DD is hoping to go back on campus next year. She had a pretty awful set of flatmates last year so was keen to move off campus. We were sceptical that house sharing with friends would go well due to her ASD (and quite frankly being rather difficult to live with as a result!). However, it is not so much sharing the house that is tricky. She finds all the admin associated with it such as splitting bills and sorting out council tax very draining. And she has a full timetable so ends up with the odd hour to kill between lectures with nowhere to go... I have told her to speak to disability services about getting one of the studio flats - no issues with sharing a kitchen or bathroom then. Will cost us a small fortune but will be much less stressful for everyone if they agree!

Hi @Piggywaspushed yes I remember - that’s why I was asking if he has a different group to share with? Or is he thinking of going back into halls?

Oh, I see! Still trying to track down new housemates who don't seem like serial killers...

£99?!!!

I've had the most awful day. I've had a new boss for 3 weeks, been continually bullied, belittled and criticised. Burst into tears at work today. Phoned my CEO.

Sorry to hear that piggy.

@Oblomov23 that sounds awful! Hope something can be sorted for you.

@crazycrofter I echo @NCTDN - £99???

My DS just signed on a 6-bed place in Notts for £142pw - more than his house this year but looks significantly nicer. From a recent conversation in the Notts parents FB group, I was congratulating myself that this wasn't too bad - now I'm

Sorry to hear that @Oblomov23 - that type of work situation is so stressful, it can eat you up. Hope your CEO is helpful.

I'm sorry to hear that @Oblomov23 , that happened to me when I came back from maternity leave, it was awful. It wasn't just me, but I was treated worse because of being part time and having to leave on time for nursery pickup. I hope your CEO steps up. Ours did eventually, no one contacted her directly for fear of reprisals but she worked it out eventually.

@Piggywaspushed I'm glad the DSs were well enough to attend, it sounds as though it was a hard day for all of you

@handmademitlove DS (also ASD) has stayed in halls for this second year as he found the thought of finding and organising a houseshare too much last year. He is hoping to move into a house next year with some friends in their first year this year (someone from his year at school who took a gap year and his course-mates). The uni were fine with this but he had to apply fairly early to get on the accommodation list.

DS is home for the weekend, it's lovely having him back. He has just finished a stressful group assignment and wants a total break for a couple of days.

Sorry about the new boss @Oblomov23 that sounds rubbish 😢

@NCTDN @blinkbonny she’s paying £80 this year so I’m a bit gutted she’s having to give that house up! There are cheaper houses out there though. She had viewings lined up for two £105 houses too.

Thanks All. I knew you'd be so nice about it.

@EerilyDecorated
We'll find out what sort of man he really is, my CEO!

@Piggywaspushed He was clearly a beloved grandfather who has left memories to cherish. A great legacy.

@Oblomov23 Sorry to hear that. Well done on picking up the phone. I hope your CEO acts to address the behaviour promptly.

Sorry to hear, @Oblomov23. I have managed to get on the wrong side of one of my bosses just as my annual appraisal is due and my request to go to part-time is coming up for consideration, and it's stressing me out a bit. Much sympathy.

Nothing is showing up yet for accommodation in DD's area, last year it got sorted out in around February. She is having a great time, went to a big Thanksgiving meal hosted by a friend with American connections, and her new friendship group continues to be lovely. She's still working all the hours of the day and has branched out a bit into ceramics as well as all her other types of art!

Hi apologies again for not posting for ages.

@Piggywaspushed I am sorry for your loss and I hope your DS finds a nice group of flat mates for next year

@Oblomov23 I hope your CEO can help you. Having a nasty work environment is the worst.

There is not much to update from me. My DD is on a course where next year she will be on a year in industry. She is getting so many rejections it is quite disheartening. She is looking for options abroad but a lot of them you pay them rather than them paying you.

@Piggywaspushed . Your FIL sounds very well loved. I hope your DS had a good evening.

@Oblomov23 and @PhotoDad - sorry to hear about the work situations. It is so difficult when something like that happens to make work a less than pleasant experience.

@BlueMarigold -I hope your DD finds something soon. DS is trying to find some kind of internship for next summer and the rejections are piling up....!

DS is in his final rowing competition of the term this morning and this evening he has his College Bridgemas formal where they celebrate Christmas a month early so hopefully a fun day.

I go back to work a week Tuesday. Dreading it.

DD is home for the weekend to go to a concert tonight. She really seems to have things sorted this year and is happy. Such a relief!
Heartbroken DS on the other hand is still really suffering and is overwhelmed by work - especially his dissertation. I'm getting lengthy calls every couple of days from him, and honestly there isn't much I can do apart from listen. He has got through the last 3 years so easily - even through covid. This is all a bit of a shock!!

I realised I never shared the final indignity of my horrible journey home after talking DD back to Preston. I got a speeding ticket for doing 71 in a 60 variable speed limit on the M5 😫 Did a speed awareness course where I discovered it’s no surprise people speed cos wow knowledge of speed limits is poor. I think having a fairly recently qualified driver in the household is useful for that!

After some conversations here I asked DD yesterday what she understands about money for her year abroad - not a lot. She’s been warned it’s expensive but I think that’s because they all want to travel within the country, eat out, etc, rather than core costs. Plus they can’t work so it’s more of a stretch for students who need to work in the UK. Although money isn’t a massive problem for us I still think I would have remembered if on open days we’d been told that years abroad cost tens of thousands!

Still on the topic of her year abroad she’s started to get info about it and is trying not to spiral into overthinking and worrying about it. Seoul or not Seoul? Is it okay to choose to go somewhere with a friend - this was never a consideration for uni but feels a bit more legit for a year abroad. What kind of accommodation? The good (kind of) news is she’s very chill about the academics. Doesn’t count towards her degree and you can do whatever subject you want (but in Korean of course).

Oh @Oblomov23 , sorry to hear about your work. I think we are in the same line (accountancy)? And I know how brutal it can be. I was not treated well at all at a big 4 firm after going back from maternity. Horrible memories.

@PhotoDad sorry to what about your work falling out too. I have teacher friends (mainly primary) and the politics involved sounds horrible.

DS just said this week that he is struggling a bit again mental health wise and has been for a few weeks so we are worried about him. Only three weeks until he’s back for Christmas though so looking forward to seeing him then and trying to sort support in the meantime. DH is visiting for an evening the week after next too so hopefully can talk with him properly too.

@286NeuerNahhhhhhhhmen That is quite a worry about your ds and It's just as well term ends very soon. Is he on any medication? I hope he feels better soon and the last 3 weeks are okay.