Thread 48- Covid GCSE Cohort - Summer before Year 2 Uni

[Oblomov23]

Summer ending. Year 2 for many at Uni about to start.

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
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I'll wave, @OublietteBravo!

DD is in Seville with her illustration classmates, being given endless streams of very strictly timed drawing projects (they are working 9-7 each day and are all exhausted). I'll post a few later in the week. This (on the first day) didn't help with her stress, if you can read the text on the left. Luckily everyone rallied round to lend her materials.

How are all the new uni students doing?
I've only heard from DD once with re. to the Pasta Alla Norma recipe & ingredients. She seems to have had her school friends or boyfriend with her at all times. As many are in London at other unis.
First lecture today & a fresher's event tonight. She says she's made some friends already. Her flat is very international in slant apparently.
@Photodad that sounds like a stressful day for your DD. @Piggywaspushed how is your Ds today?

I haven't started on MAFS yet but will catch up @craggyrat !

@Cantonet Dd is really enjoying Reading so far. She has been in touch with student welfare about some of her issues/experiences I talked about on here and they have been so supportive and looked out for her ect. Halls warden also checking in on her.
She really likes the town and it seems has a good group of course friends already. Had two lectures so far on Inclusion in Education/Education and society which she loved (right up her street tbf).

I have everything crossed for this term/semester for all our covidlings.

Finally dropped DS off in Coventry today at his new flat. Not very impressed by it but he's the one that's going to live there. I foresee it being freezing cold in winter. It seemed dank and musty smelling. About 7 flights of stairs and DS lives at the very top! there's a lift there but it hasn't been maintained and landlord has no intention to, so its permanently shut. All his flatmates from 1st yr are there though and they seem a cheerful lot so that's something. It very well situated close to loads of shops within walking distance although a 40min bus ride to campus each day.

@Piggywaspushed How is DS now? is it too early to be asking if there's a way going forward?

Bless her Photodad, hope she has no further mishaps :(

Oh he doesn't appear until mid October! That's a shame.

New student DD is loving Aber so far (only day 5) Four of her five housemates aren't very sociable but she's found like minded people elsewhere and is having a blast. She has one of her best friends from home there and has linked up with a boy she was at middle school with and hadn't seen for five years. I love how relaxed Aber nightlife sounds compared to Nottingham. Much cheaper too. Hoping she doesn't get too battered by storm Agnes - she's going to a social on the pier tomorrow!

Oh me too🤞

Glad t hear your DD is enjoying Aber mummy.

DS got hijacked by a phone call from the alpha male yesterday and al the house on a group call. He was on the phone for about 45 minutes.

I just feel like really telling them all to fuck off. He told them he was coming on Sunday and they started saying it was 'too soon' but not in a nice way, really. It's all about them. They won't be in to check he's OK all the time. When the are in they don't want responsibility for worrying about him. When they are out they don't want to be responsible.

FFS can't even just one of them say ' we are sorry for our bad behaviour and we think you should do what feels right for you'.

It's making DH panic , too, which isn't helpful.

What has really angered us is they keep asking DS what he thinks he needs to change to make things better. FUCK. OFF.

It's made him feel a bit worse and he was feeling fairly positive.

That sounds toxic @Piggywaspushed . I would want to tell them to fuck off too. Is there an alternative at all yet to going back to that environment?

Good to hear the new students are enjoying themselves. The coast in Wales is a lovely place to be.

I really think he needs to get away from them Piggy, it might be different if they had shown any remorse and understanding but plainly not. Blaming him ffs. Anywhere would surely be better than living with people who are this awful.

If there is no real accommodation office, I would ask the well-being officer for help, or someone from the department.

Yeah, working on it. I think he wants to be in Selly Oak, though for the convenience of shops etc.

Good luck. He shouldn't be afraid to tell people what has happened, none of it is his fault and this is not just flatmates being incompatible or not getting along. If those dickheads end up getting into trouble so much the better too bad. He will never have to see them again (hoping none of them is on his course).

I’m sure there must be rooms free in houses in Selly Oak @Piggywaspushed ? But not sure how you’d get out of the current house. 🤔😬

In the meantime, I think I’d text them myself and say they’re not responsible for looking after him 24:7, and he will be trying to make new friends but what they are responsible for is not bitching about him behind his back and putting him down all the time.

Really pleased to hear dd is enjoying Reading @OrangeCinnamonLatte and getting support - what a relief! Glad dd is loving Aber too @mummyinbeds !

Oh dear @Piggywaspushed . There is clearly no remirse or introspection there. I agree he needs to find a new place. I’m sure there will be rooms in Selly houses coming free as people drop out in the next week or so. I’m so sorry he has been knocked back by this.

That's a good riposte crazy. I will tell him that.

How is your ds getting on in Plymouth @Delphigirl ? Any news from @Seeline @Monkey2001 and @Zebracat ? I assume everyone has started now?

Hi crazy! DS seems very happy thanks. Good sociable flat with nice people, good flat next door they are also socialising with a lot, has made friends on his course, has 3 days of field trips this week including one day on a research vessel… so far all great apparently. Delighted to hear that yours is settling so well at reading and aber is going well for @mummyinbeds . And not a Russell group amongst them, who’d a thunk it 😌

Brilliant @Delphigirl glad he's settled in well! We liked Plymouth when we visited. It's @OrangeCinnamonLatte dd who's in Reading.

Agree that RG universities don't necessarily suit everyone... I much preferred the vibe at Leicester, where I went, much more down to earth. But dd insisted on RG!

Oooh sorry crazy of course I know yours is part of the Nottingham massive! Exactly, horses of courses and all that. As evidence of my belief in that I noticed when Dd2s app went in this week that of my 4 kids’ application there is only one uni that has been applied to twice… amazing really.

@Piggywaspushed what a bunch of selfish little toads, I rally hope he sorts out something else if at all possible, in the meantime I hope he manages to stand up for himself (not easy at all in these situations) and meet some much kinder more normal people. x

I think DS has settled in his new house, not heard from him really so I'm taking that as a good thing? Glad to hear about the other new students and returners settling.

@285NeuerNamen I'm glad your DS has someone on the 'bench' with him, even thought the situation isn't great for either of them, it's a little bit of solidarity.

Thanks for asking @crazycrofter, all good for DS at UEA. His flatmates are all nice and not party animals, so "home" is quiet and nobody will be stealing his food or emptying the freezer "for a laugh". He has started his choral scholarship, played a rugby match and been to more parties in a week than he has been to in the last 2 years, his spiderman costume came out for one of them. He has found a few non-drinking friends and will probably gently avoid club nights as they are not his thing. His group for placements and group work includes someone who has to have dialysis every 2 days, so all their placements will be close, which is good for someone who struggles to wake up!

The friend I have been supporting since her mum died is also doing really well at Bangor. She told me she was thriving and had forgotten how much she loved learning. When I called her on Sunday she was very sleepy because she and a flatmate had been on a rescue mission the previous night, taking an injured cat to an emergency vet. I was pleased that her flatmates are similar enough to her to do that sort of thing because she is another non-clubby one, and as she has been living alone for 2 years, since her mum died, I was worried that she would be surrounded by immature people going wild.

DS1 may be having a more difficult time. He has moved from St Andrews to Manchester for the clinical years of his medical degree and does not really know anyone, so on Saturday night we were on the phone to him for half an hour, talking through how to unblock his kitchen sink - not exactly living the student dream, but I hope it will get better soon. He is planning to join the medics choir and power lifting soc, so that should help to make some connections and his GF is starting her working life as a nurse in Sheffield next week, so she will be close. Seeing the social whirl for DS2 has brought home how much DS1 missed starting in 2020. The impact of Covid runs deep.

That all sounds good @Monkey2001 except for ds1's struggles. He'll be ok once he starts to make some friends though I'm sure - and the power lifting types do seem to be quite a supportive community, if my ds' experience is anything to go by.

Glad ds2 and the friend have both found like-minded people; perhaps they're easier to find, away from the big city/party orientated unis? My dd is so completely different from me, as I was a non-drinker who didn't like clubbing at all. It puzzles me, but in a way I'm glad as it's made life a little easier for her I think. At the moment she's desperately searching for a job in Nottingham. Despite earning quite a lot over the summer, it all went on (half a) car and 5 holidays! Although she did get her last pay yesterday and it was nearly twice as much as she was expecting. I suggested she'd better query it as she wouldn't want to spend it, only for them to ask for it back!

Thanks for asking @crazycrofter . DD seems to have settled much better this year. All her flat are returners so whilst friendly towards each other, all have established friend groups, so flat is much calmer than last year and she can get some sleep. She has met up with the friends she did make last time, but has done things on her own too - including a wellbeing dog walk! All her dance classes are starting up again which are her happy place. Seems to be enjoying the few lectures she's had so far too. So all looking good. Unfortunately she'll be coming home for a week next week for a hospital appointment and driving test. Timings meant couldn't go back in between so I hope she will be able to get back into things.

Both DCs seem settled so DH and I are having a week in Mallorca - first holiday on our own for 22 years. Lovely just doing nothing 😁

Glad your DS is settling at UEA @Monkey2001 , and pleased to hear things seem to be working out for all other newbies and re-starters.