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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

Son has moved out

137 replies

Superangry · 24/07/2023 12:24

So devastated my 21 year old son moved out on Saturday into his girlfriend’s parents house. What a totally unexpected curve ball!!! I don’t know her parents or even met her, don’t even know we’re they live just the general direction. Something feels totally off !! And I can’t figure out what it is, I can’t stop crying 😭

OP posts:
CheshireCat1 · 31/07/2023 14:47

Hopefully he’ll contact you soon. What I can’t understand is the girl’s parents, I wonder if they know the full situation with your son and how upset and worried you are. If I was in their position and knew the situation I’d be contacting you to put your mind at rest, perhaps invite you round and also try and persuade your son to contact you. I’ve a feeling they don’t know what’s going on.

ManchesterLu · 31/07/2023 14:55

Superangry · 24/07/2023 18:07

Hi have told him he can come home at any time he still has his key to come and go.
I just can’t get my head around it and have a feeling that something else is behind this all.
we haven’t argued and have had a very good relationship just can’t understand why he would behave the way he has

Sorry but if you've never met the girl he's just moved in with, you do NOT have a good relationship.

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/07/2023 15:04

CheshireCat1 · 31/07/2023 14:47

Hopefully he’ll contact you soon. What I can’t understand is the girl’s parents, I wonder if they know the full situation with your son and how upset and worried you are. If I was in their position and knew the situation I’d be contacting you to put your mind at rest, perhaps invite you round and also try and persuade your son to contact you. I’ve a feeling they don’t know what’s going on.

I agree with this. I'd be mortified. The whole thing is very odd.

FedUpMumof10YO · 31/07/2023 15:13

Give it a couple of weeks and he'll be back.

Best thing to do is not react.

UsingChangeofName · 31/07/2023 15:16

I agree with @ManchesterLu

I would question the fact you say I know my family life we are very tight knit little group. yet also say you have never even met his girlfriend, even though he has been living at home until now.

Doesn't sound that close or 'good' a relationship to me.

I do feel for you OP - it must have been a horrible shock. It's good that you are still in touch via messages and he is still in touch with his siblings.

However I would still be interested to hear his side of the story.

Billyrose · 02/08/2023 10:37

Hello, I’m new on here, my youngest child is about finish school and I am feeling really sad and tearful all the time about how fast everything seems to have gone and in anticipation of future empty nest, which seems quite imminent now. Yes I know it is inevitable and normal and I don’t want to stop my kids growing up. I just cannot stop thinking about when they were young and the house being lonely et cetera et cetera.

How have other people dealt with this do you have any tips on how to work through it without slumping into depression. I have a job, I have a partner, but it’s all feeling a bit meaningless at the moment. Just looking for some other experiences and points of view. Thank you

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2023 19:25

Billyrose · 02/08/2023 10:37

Hello, I’m new on here, my youngest child is about finish school and I am feeling really sad and tearful all the time about how fast everything seems to have gone and in anticipation of future empty nest, which seems quite imminent now. Yes I know it is inevitable and normal and I don’t want to stop my kids growing up. I just cannot stop thinking about when they were young and the house being lonely et cetera et cetera.

How have other people dealt with this do you have any tips on how to work through it without slumping into depression. I have a job, I have a partner, but it’s all feeling a bit meaningless at the moment. Just looking for some other experiences and points of view. Thank you

You need to start your own thread for this!

Original poster
Superangry · 05/08/2023 22:36

Op just a wee update my end, just want to thank the positive advice I received . Communication is ongoing though it is me texting and him replying but better than nothing… he has called home when I’ve been at work, a couple of things have been removed, he has also called in for roughly 5 minutes tonight to collect mail… his gf mother drove him up and then was bringing him to work. She parked a good bit away from my house, she watched him walking to her car and never glanced in my direction as she was driving past🤷‍♀️ Not the actions of someone who has another person’s son living with her !!

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 06/08/2023 21:55

Superangry · 05/08/2023 22:36

Op just a wee update my end, just want to thank the positive advice I received . Communication is ongoing though it is me texting and him replying but better than nothing… he has called home when I’ve been at work, a couple of things have been removed, he has also called in for roughly 5 minutes tonight to collect mail… his gf mother drove him up and then was bringing him to work. She parked a good bit away from my house, she watched him walking to her car and never glanced in my direction as she was driving past🤷‍♀️ Not the actions of someone who has another person’s son living with her !!

That is really weird. Is it possible your son has created a narrative about his family to allow him to move in?

Original poster
Superangry · 06/08/2023 22:30

@TheFormidableMrsC could have quite possibly… either him or the gf … but for the op not even to look my direction or give a little wave it’s all very puzzling 🤷‍♀️ and for not allowing me to know where he lives ( I’ve found that out though not from him and he doesn’t know that I know) god I sound as bad as them them but he’s my child and I had a right to know in case of emergencies as his Nannie my mum was in hospital there for a bit

OP posts:
greenspaces4peace · 07/08/2023 03:03

could this somehow be linked to some professional involvement? could the gf or family be familiar with you in that capacity?

Original poster
Superangry · 07/08/2023 06:59

@greenspaces4peace hi I know the gf mums auntie but that would be all,

OP posts:
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