Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Ha! The cheek of them

We're on the case of accommodation today, DS is still waiting for Reading to allocate his hall to him, frustrating as he can't complete online enrolment until then as it asks about accommodation and he can't answer. Move in slots also get released today and Monday so it's frustrating that we might be left with what no one else wants . It's a good job it's only 40 mins away so an early morning drop off isn't the end of the world - just ideally we'd have something a bit more normal!

Heifer isn’t this THE place where we are allowed to state that our DC are not perfect with no recriminations?

Here here to self care, in whatever form, my sympathies to those needing and waiting joint replacement ops. I am hanging in there for dear life to get my mother’s house and flat purchase for her over the line so I can breath again, the exposure we are undertaking is enormous but if it buys her back some years of quality life, it’ll be worth it.

@NCTDN I've used colour catchers regularly for mixed colours. The colour catchers always comes out dark. So do catch the colour. However, I've not tried it with something new and dark with something white. I wouldn't dare. But ds1 wasn't allowed to use them at the laundrette in year 1, there were signs up saying don't use them. Then he used one in his private house and said it blocked the machine up and the landlord had to fish it out from inside the workings of the machine. I can't see why it did that as I've never had a problem. But a mesh bag might help.

@NCTDN my DS swears by colour catchers, but judging by the clothes that came home for the summer break I'm not so sure. Everything was grey! He mainly wears black/dark blue/white, and obviously has shoved everything in together. I don't know what the result would be if his wardrobe was more vibrant!

DD was able to book her moving-in slot yesterday - 10.30 on the 18th. We will go up on Saturday, stay overnight and then be able to arrive in a leisurely fashion after a decent breakfast. It also means that we can do a supermarket shop after she's unpacked, and get anything we've forgotten or discover is needed before the shops shut early (Sunday trading). We can also drive back Sunday evening so DH can be back for work on Monday. He only started this new job this week so didn't really want to be asking for a day off already!

@NCTDN I have been using colour catcher sheets for years and to date nothing untoward has happened with the washing machine . I use them in mixed colour washes (they always come out darker/coloured) and also in white washes where some items have a dark trim or border (I hate my whites going grey). I never risk a mixed dark/black and white wash.

Caveat- I remember there was a “ask me anything” thread on MN not that long ago where the op was a scientist who worked for the detergent/laundry industry and she made a point of not answering the questions re colour catcher sheets,. I took this to mean that she thought they were pants!

Did you see my reply to you re Ds’ halls in Bristol? He’s got Haight Baker, self catered.

Has anyone seen the Manchester accommodation furore?
350 rooms short, and students being offered £2500 to commute from Liverpool, Preston or Huddersfield!!
One of DD’s friends is caught up in it and I’ve just heard her sobbing because she got cut off after being kept on hold for an hour.

I think it's appalling. Greedy uni's trying to squeeze in as many students as they can

I feel so sorry for those Manchester students without accommodation.
Some are now deferring because of this.
DS has just realised his Surrey accommodation kitchen is tiny. It's for 7 but there's only enough room for two to sit down 🙋. Goodness knows how many will be able to cook. DS likes to cook 3 course breakfasts & isn't keen on unhealthy takeaways.
I don't know how but we managed to spend a small fortune in home bargains - toiletries, basic first aid kit, towels, pans, storage, basic food etc.
Dd2 also managed to coerce me into buying several woven storage baskets for her which bumped up the cost. Then Tk maxx for noodle bowls/ pasta plates.

I'm sorry for all the ill health on this thread. @Zebracat bones scraping sounds so painful. I hope you're given a operating date soon. Fibromyalgia sounds unrelentingly exhausting too.
I'm currently also on a mission to lose weight. But it's so slow to come off at 58 😢

DD has 3 friends going to Manchester Met who until a few days ago didn't have any accommodation. 1 now has a student room at VAST expense (top of the range), 1 has been put in a flat with two 2nd yr boys and the other in a flat with 2 Postgrade men, not the uni experience they were expecting. Totally feel for them.

That's terrible about Manchester (and I think Glasgow also difficult this year) - really disgraceful.

IKEA ✅ Asda Homestore ✅ Dunelm ✅ lunch ✅…..now for Sainsburys for towels and kitchen scales and crockery ……

Dd2's boyfriend is off to Surrey, cantonet, and I know his mum is not happy about his accommodation. Seems a lot of the newer blocks are all about squeezing as many buyers into as small a space as possible, rather like newbuild estates.

Nottingham - Heads up. DDs accommodation charges are now showing in her Nottingham Uni Hub (not accommodation portal). For her it had 3 different amounts due (£3k for 7th Sept and less for the other 2 instalments, so I emailed them and asked to go onto the payment plan (3 equal amounts) and could I pay the £250 by 7th Sept and not the full amount until after her loan arrives (Oct). Received an email to say ok no problem. Basically it was still showing 3 different amounts but email said to pay £250 against the 1st instalment and once paid they would amend the remainder due to 3 equal instalments. This will then tie in better for DDs loan as luckily her loan does just about cover her accommodation. Hope this helps, and sorry I've waffled. Menopausal me seems incapable of explaining myself!

SIL lives in Diss Ican. Lovely part of the world. I could quite easily settle in Norfolk, but too close to my BIL 😱

I think I want the 9 month payment @Heifer was that an option in the hub?

@omnishambles once the payment details are in the hub, you need to email the [email protected] team and request the payment plan to be amended to option 1 3 equal or option 2 ( monthly over 9 months). Need to give student number etc It doesn't tell you this in the hub though, but I've seen it somewhere a few times. Also on the end of emails from SAS team about payment plans.

When are the Nottingham people moving in? DS has potential open day on 17th, but may not want to be away that day if GF going on 18th.

Oh bless her this made me feel so sad for them!

Finally found this thread😁
My DS left on his interrail trip yesterday as start of his gap year adventures and we've spent excessive amounts of timè together this past week planning night trains, tickets, booking hostels and packing stuff. As he was a boarder it was much like school preparations, it's only today (in the quiet) I've realised I have a slight jittery feeling when I think of him? I think this is because it's the first real time he's not had any adult looking out for him, however hands-off that might be? Silly, as he's actually old for the school year so will turn 19 soon so has officially been an adult for nearly a year!

Thanks @Heifer I will try and find out what Ds has done already though I know I should probably be more hands off.

Monkey moving in days for Nottingham are 22-24 September

@Takeittotheboss I'm sure your DS will have a great adventure but I know how you feel about the lack of adult back up. DD spent time volunteering in Ghana in August and for the time she was there I did at least know she was being looked after by the local volunteer agent. Her last four days traveling she was totally on her own and only able to contact anyone if and when she could find WiFi. At one point the only way I knew she was safe and well was when she used my Monzo card, roughly where I thought she should be. Waving her off at Heathrow was hard. She's now saving to go back post A levels and receiving regular messages from some of the Ghanaian locals she met (including the local drug dealer apparently 😱) She has certainly grown into a confident young lady this summer.

@heifer thanks for the Nottingham update. I just spoke to DS from my sunny holiday balcony. He said he knows nothing and he was too busy (playing Xbox) to look at emails. That's just reminded me of a discussion a few months ago about his A Level Xbox (with French). I must find out his results 🤣