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Parents of adult children

Graduates returning to the nest, a new start for all!

459 replies

VanCleefArpels · 01/07/2022 23:08

Carrying on from the 2019/20 Uni students thread let’s talk about what it’s like to have our fresh graduates home, for some of us invading our nice empty nest, for all of us creating a new household dynamic…….

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VanCleefArpels · 09/08/2022 15:16

@ZandathePanda my DS was earning less than £25k when he first started renting but we were still paying things like car and phone costs and rent was 50% of take home pay.

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ZandathePanda · 09/08/2022 15:24

@bigTillyMint I think being poor in London would be worse than poor back at home. There’s so much to do here if you can afford it. And there’s so much wealth on display.

Graduate Dd has a third interview/presentation in a city up North next week, she’s just told me. So London off the table for now. Third?!!? It is for a very prestigious company though so fingers and toes crossed. It will mean moving to a new city, not knowing anyone but she’s not daunted. Very exciting. She lives life at a much faster pace than I ever could.

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Benjispruce4 · 09/08/2022 15:28

DD is hopefully moving to London in October @ZandathePanda . Just started job and commuting 2 days pw, wfh the rest and rent will be just under half take home pay. She’d much rather be poor in London with friends than poor at home with Mum and Dad with not much happening in our town.

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Benjispruce4 · 09/08/2022 15:28

Good luck to your DD.

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FayeGovan · 09/08/2022 15:29

Does anyone know the take home pay for 33k? Neither of us earn anywhere near that so have no clue..
Also, in a place where they are renting a room, im guessing their room will have a lock on the door?

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ZandathePanda · 09/08/2022 15:41

@VanCleefArpels I was composing the message while you posted. Dd had worked out 50% of her pay would go on rent before bills which was horrifying her.

A long, long time ago, we fixed an interest- only mortgage at 0.25% above the base rate. So DD’s Uni room weekly rent was more than our monthly mortgage. I have no idea how their generation will be able to save and buy a house. Our first house was 39k!

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ZandathePanda · 09/08/2022 15:55

@Benjispruce4 Missed your reply too! Yes Dd much rather be poor practically anywhere than live with us I think! Although coming ‘home’ for laundry, big bath etc etc.

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VanCleefArpels · 09/08/2022 16:10

Google take home pay calculator - gives you breakdown of earnings but doesn’t include pension contributions IIRC

the continuing large overdraft facility on a graduate bank account (at least one year, some do 2 years) is very useful. They are all brassic all the time yet still manage a busy social life!

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RampantIvy · 09/08/2022 16:16

I was beginning to think that DD was the only one on here who categorically does not want to live in London.

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VanCleefArpels · 09/08/2022 17:38

My DD doesn’t want to live in London either @RampantIvy - hence coming home!

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Benjispruce4 · 09/08/2022 17:46

Around £2000 @FayeGovan

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Benjispruce4 · 09/08/2022 17:50

Between £2-2.5 @FayeGovan .I think it’s just an itch Dd needs to scratch. Doesn’t mean she’ll stay.

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Benjispruce4 · 09/08/2022 19:13

Having said this, at the moment they still can’t find anywhere. If a place is up for £3600 pm, they are expected to offer £3,800 to secure it. DD’s friend won’t look at anything that’s not a nice looking house in Clapham so at this rate, DD won’t be able to live with them. She’s very stressed so it’s just as well the job start has been gentle.

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Eve · 09/08/2022 19:36

DS1 still somewhere in Europe / Sicily at moment, then a few weeks in Rome & somewhere in France on his Euramus scheme before he has to come home for a job.

starts end Sept and no rental yet - nothing available! I’m worrying but he’s not.

DS2 is having a very slow start to his role and very bored. He’s taken to going to the gym for 2 hours over lunch.

We are away on holiday soon so I think he will have a selection of mates working at home from ours.

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VanCleefArpels · 09/08/2022 20:31

The “working play date” is a fun result of pandemic induced WFH. A relief from the loneliness

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MargaretThursday · 09/08/2022 23:17

@RampantIvy dd doesn't want to live in London either. We are close enough that she could commute by train if necessary, she ideally wouldn't do that either.

When I was at uni I remember there was a definite divide between: "No way do I want to work in London ever" and "London is the only place I'm considering". Not many people were ambivalent about it.

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Benjispruce4 · 10/08/2022 07:21

@MargaretThursday trouble is it’s where so many big firms are based so more opportunities depending on the field of work you are interested in.

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LouisCatorze · 10/08/2022 08:00

Surprised Clapham is still regarded as the 'in' place to live. Reckon its appeal dates back to the late 80s/early 90s when it was 'up and coming' (used to be referred to as 'Cla'am' in a jokey way to make it sound posher than it was back then), in the way that whole stretch down the Northern Line was, so cheapish for rentals. Somehow its popularity has remained even though it's now become really too expensive for new graduates.

DS and g/f not having much luck with finding a rental either (south coast). He sounded a bit down about it when we last spoke. They are currently living in g/f's student flat-share but her rental contract ends in about a month. I think a two-bed flat is really too much for them to be considering paying for but there seem to be very few one-bed ones available and studios are really too small unless g/f's future job.

@Eve your DS1 sounds as if he's making the most of his trip. DD is already planning her gap year (not yet even in the sixth form!). I've told her to start saving.

@ZandathePanda good luck to your DD with her third interview/presentation next week.

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LouisCatorze · 10/08/2022 08:01

unless g/f's future job requires her to be in the office more on than off.

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Benjispruce4 · 10/08/2022 08:20

Clapham is now appealing not because of cheapness became it isn’t but because it’s seen as cool apparently. I was surprised as hadn’t realised it had evolved.

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VanCleefArpels · 10/08/2022 08:45

Clapham has been perennially the place to live for young professionals- really buzzy nightlife scene, good commuting by train tube or bus. However as you say @LouisCatorze prices are just ridiculous now. But many suck it up just for the location! My DS lives a bit further east in an “unfashionable” area but pays less for a nice studio flat that many of his friends are paying for a small room in a shared house barely better (if at all) than student standard. Very importantly he has room / quiet to work at home.

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lovescats3 · 10/08/2022 08:57

My son moved back home we are in London is going to stay with us as are all his school friends they hope to move out in a few years it's so expensive to rent

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Benjispruce4 · 10/08/2022 09:02

@VanCleefArpels thats what DD wants to do but said friend will not consider other areas!!

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RampantIvy · 10/08/2022 09:07

Benjispruce4 · 10/08/2022 07:21

@MargaretThursday trouble is it’s where so many big firms are based so more opportunities depending on the field of work you are interested in.

Luckily the field that DD is interested in isn't exclusive to London. She is thinking of doing an accelerated masters in radiography.

She would hate to have a desk job.

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LouisCatorze · 10/08/2022 18:01

@Benjispruce4 that's a bit short-sighted of your DD's friends. They may need to compromise. Think that's what DS and his g/f are going to have to do, although they may not yet have come to that realisation.

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