Nasty & spiteful Daughter in law

[Ifonlyihadknown79]

Please tell me I'm not alone in disliking Dil!

Your poor son, all these wicked women treating the poor little man so badly!

Your son is the problem.

@Ifonlyihadknown79

I am not difficult at all She didn't like it as i said the only side I am on is the kids as they didn't asked to be brought in to this mess. And her reply was ' your never seeing your grandchild, so say goodbye .

Is she pregnant?

If I was you and I've been in this situation
Be platonic on both sides

When you can make all welcome
Invite ex around with kids and say you are also horrified by his behaviour leave it at that and just love the kids
Both sides

Make it clear to your son you're not happy with his behaviour towards first children
After all it's not their fault....

And stick to that!

Keep saying the same thing they'll come round and m the end

You have to be the better person here
Amd do it for all the children

Never mind its just loaded she has had a baby

Those poor kids

*Is she pregnant?

She's had the baby.

Or the ex gf was horrible with the op's son, cheating and then walked out. At least she did it before the wedding.

And the OP is siding with the exGF?

Why aren't you more angry with the exGF?

@Ifonlyihadknown79

Son's ex partner left him after 8 years together and 2 children. Ex Dil and Son were perfectly fine getting on, all good. New girl comes along after a few months of them separating then all relationship starts to break down. Son doesn't see children. Ex and new g.f are at each other throats I'm stuck in the middle trying to keep the peace. New G.F clears the children's bedrooms out for her kids, this after a couple of months being together and moves in with him. New g.f does something horrendous to ex g.f which I was disgusted at but kept my mouth shut. Police have been called numerous times by both of them ex and N.G! N.G causes and starts all the problems then say it wasn't her! Grandkids not seeing there dad who they idolise and who idlosed them for over a year. New G.f told me I was ex G.F side, told her the only side I was on were my grandkids! Sorry waffling on a bit

Your son sounds like a total dick. You sound like you enjoy the drama - 'stuck in the middle'? Why? None of your business.

Why hasn’t your son been to court to secure access to his children?

You have a son problem, not a DIL problem.

Your son seems to be at least as much at fault as his present GF. He sounds weak, thoughtless, easily led (especially by his dick), a crap father, & a crap son if he allows his GF to speak to you so unpleasantly. Did you not bother to teach him anything? Did you even try?

The thought occurs, how well did you get on with his ex?

I could have written your post Plonque re. SIL.

Your son is scum. All of this is on him. What kind if man stands by and quietly lets a new shag clear out his children’s bedrooms? Ridiculous. Stop blaming her and start blaming him.

I hate drama!!! Don't think I have explained myself very well.. only posted twice before on other stuff not family related.
#Not happy with Son at all and he has been told- now he's not talking to me this us the first time we have ever fell out
#Ex G.F did whats she did and I wasn't happy it happened at all but it her life not mine.
#New G.F is rude,angry,jealous, spiteful I could go on and on and on.

yeah echoing others here, sounds like your sons girlfriend is being used as a scapegoat here.

her behaviour is actually not as bad as your sons or his ex girlfriend so I think it's odd you have so much hostility towards her - ex gf cheated and your son doesnt see his children yet you're on here questioning his current partners personality..

Your son is the problem.

You raised him, so you’re probably at least part of the problem too.

It's a DS problem.

God people love to stick the boot in don't they!

Op they all sound terrible, but I'm not sure there is much you can do apart from be there for your grandkids and keep trying to encourage your son to see his children. I can't see the relationship lasting between your son and his gf but by that time the damage may already be done between him and his children. Just keep talking to him and remind him what he is throwing away, hopefully he will see sense before it's too late, but I honestly wouldn't hold your breath.

To all the posters blaming op because she raised him, fuck off with your judgement, my ex h did exactly this to our daughter, my ex mil was a wonderful lady who raised 5 other children that managed to not drop their kids the second a new woman comes on the scene, this is not ops fault at all. Some men are just spineless cowards.

N.G causes and starts all the problems then say it wasn't her! Grandkids not seeing there dad who they idolise and who idlosed them for over a year.

Sounds as if your son is one of those spineless men who enjoys seeing two women fighting over him and doesn't give a shiny shite about his children.

Then whines to his mum about his miserable life so that she is also sucked into the melee.

Your son clearly has poor taste in women, low standards, or possibly just very low self esteem & is consequently willing to put up with any level of crap just to keep a woman in his life. What do you think it is, OP - you know him? Both his previous partners sound less than ideal.

@Ifonlyihadknown79

Son's ex partner left him after 8 years together and 2 children. Ex Dil and Son were perfectly fine getting on, all good. New girl comes along after a few months of them separating then all relationship starts to break down. Son doesn't see children. Ex and new g.f are at each other throats I'm stuck in the middle trying to keep the peace. New G.F clears the children's bedrooms out for her kids, this after a couple of months being together and moves in with him. New g.f does something horrendous to ex g.f which I was disgusted at but kept my mouth shut. Police have been called numerous times by both of them ex and N.G! N.G causes and starts all the problems then say it wasn't her! Grandkids not seeing there dad who they idolise and who idlosed them for over a year. New G.f told me I was ex G.F side, told her the only side I was on were my grandkids! Sorry waffling on a bit

Why do you not mention the responsibility of your 'dear' son in all this? Why are you even involved trying to keep the peace. He's the one to blame, and after all, he's the one who chose her in the first place, and is continuing to the relationship with her.

Or is it always the fault of a woman?

Sounds a nightmare @Ifonlyihadknown79 but you cannot fix his shabby life for him.

I would take a step back, for now, and concentrate on yourself. Bypass the madness.

If you're still on ok terms with your x DIL, offer to babysit for her so that you can bypass the madness.

21:17purpleboy Thank you for your wise words. I thought Mumsnet was a place for advice and wisdom of other Mums. Good job I don't take what has has been said to heart!

@Ifonlyihadknown79 No reply then?

21:22LemonSquirtInTheEyeOfLife the ex was his first G.F got together way to young. She wanted to ne be single he was totally broken even after she had an affair he took her back and wanted to make it work with her. Then the new G.F came alone made him happy and everything went to shit.

20:20Nicknacky yes I do and I have made it clear to him... but it seems like I don't even know him anymore. Definitely not been brought up to behave the way he has. I even said to him that he needs to stop thinking with his dick and start using his head.. Not words that would normally come from my mouth