Those June/July babies

[motherinferior]

Just wondered how everyone's getting on, having actually produced?

I'm absolutely knackered, and have very nasty tear which is giving me grief (I ripped into the muscle a bit) but am in much MUCH better shape than with dd2 - and dd1 is thoroughly enthusiastic. Mind you, dd2 is still asleep most of the time. I'm aware that the next few weeks and months are going to be, ahem, not the easiest, which is why I thought it might be worth keeping in touch...?

Dd1 has bogged off (apparently not back till tomorrow afternoon!) and I'm firmly napping dd2 as she has dreadful tendency not to nap enough in the afternoon and get quite horribly tired and upset. I am, I have to say, rather bothered about the dummy, but as dp is completely laissez-faire about it will just have to roll with the re-dummying exercise every time she wakes up - if she's napping and I'm trying to get her to nap it seems stupid and also cruel to get into a row over the dummy.

Potty training, or rather loo-with-seat training, going remarkably well I have to say. Poo and all.

Have very stupidly invited a second friend over this evening when there's only enough food for two...

Wow, maternity leave is so restful! I have just had the most dreadful day...

Peaceful weekend, weirdly enough, with dp away at posho wedding and dd1 away from Sat afternoon at her mate's (after successfully using loo, big hugs all round, etc etc). Until he got back - shellshocked from Posho Overdose - after six hours' drive, and shortly afterwards dd1 got back wailing and weeping from her friend's and kept wailing for a few hours and wailed in the night shouting DADDYDADDYDADDY GOWAY MUMMY three times in the small hours. Needless to say poor old dp was shattered in the morning, especially since the babe woke up at 5 and I brought her into bed to feed and we then crashed out; he tried for a few minutes' extra kip and therefore got timing horribly wrong when he did get up. At 7.30 I was feeding dd2 again (trying for a set feed of 7.15 or a bit later, as that'll be her last feed before going to childminder's in five weeks' time) and heard dp sounding more and more irate with dd1 (he isn't very good at saying firmly RIGHT THAT'S IT) and I agreed to take her to childminder's...which meant finishing feeding, changing dd2, dressing her, dressing me, wee-ing and dressing dd1, getting us downstairs, grabbing something to eat for me (yogurt out of the carton, no time for essential life-restoring caffeine) and out of the door in TWENTY MINUTES.

Got back, grabbed caffeine and sarnie (using up the not very nice Bresse Bleu cheese in our fridge), said hello to Janis the cleaner, paid her, bogged off again to walk to Lewisham (a fair distance) to try and get kiddiclothes, somewhat hampered by the fact I'm not sure what we actually need (some clothes in attic, others have been returned to sis because of her new baby) but a nice walk in the park, fed her in park, got to shops and pootled round and bought stuff also for new nephew although it's technically a girl's top, walked back, pretty knackered by now, babe wailing hungrily, got to our doorstep and....no keys. I'd not had to check as I left because J was here, but no idea where they might be as they are usually always in my bag. Big panic. Sat on doorstep to feed baby in manner disturbingly reminiscent of someone begging on the London Underground. Phoned do on my mobile, with robot voice continually telling me YOUR CALLING CREDIT IS RUNNING LOW, he suggested tracking down J for spare pair, ended up in house of neighbour over the road who does have J's mobile number and texted her, and waited anxiously. By this time it was about 3pm and I'd had no lunch apart from my/Miriam's emergency organic cereal bars. Also realised we were due a Sainsbury's delivery so dashed back to leave note on our door.

Finally J arrived, I got into house closely followed by Sainsbury's delivery, unpacked it noting that dp had bought lots of things we already have AND more sodding Bresse Bleu cheese, managed to eat something myself before going completely doolally, finally started to write this very same post, realised had to feed baby and get back to childminder's....

... Oh, and finished the day by breaking my watchstrap.

Am now going to have shower, and watch video of Waking the Dead over large glass of red and some chocolate.

Ah, Motherinferior you do make me laugh. I have been sitting here giggling away at a mental image of you on your doorstep. So glad you got in eventually!
I am sitting here with a scarf wrapped round my neck as I cannot move my head due to muscle going into spasm at back of neck - very painful but will go by tomorrow thanks to pills I have just got from doc - thank god it didn't happen on Sunday - christening was fabulous - we had great weather, the vicar was a hoot and had everyone collapsing with hysterical laughter, dd2 was angelic and people were nearly crying at how gorgeous she looked, and the do afterwards was lovely, and most people were very complimentary about my outfit - shatty sil wore a black outfit would you flipping believe? It was slightly patterned though.
Oh, and yesterday I got a job!!! Its a lovely admin post at a day centre for people with disabilities and its 3 days a week in school hours. Perfect.
Is anyone weaning yet? How is it going?

Dahlia, congrats on the job! Wow, how interesting. You must tell me more about it when I'm back working next month. Do you start now? What are you doing about childcare?

And no, no weaning here, mummymilk only for the foreseeable future. Next big step for me is expressing, but at least I've found a teat the little wossname will take...

Dahlia - congrats on your new job and your christening sounded magical.

DS2 is 4 months today - last couple of nights we have done late 12ish feeds and he has slept till 7am without rousing. Its amazing what a couple of good nights sleep does to you - I even thought today that maybe another baby mighty be ok.

DS1 is really back on track, he is behaving really well and things do have appeared to settled back to normal - well as normal as they ever get. I think you are really brave MI putting your girls in the same bedroom - not ready to face that one yet. Ås DS1 bedroom is also his playroom - not really sure how that will work.

DS2 is a delight, he is different to his big brother - though just as happy as him he has a different laugh - a sort of high pitched squeal. Now he has got really in to the rolling over thing - he rolls over, lifts his head and grins at you and then rolls back over again. Got the inflatable ring out of storage as he loves to sit up.

Now he is 4 months it is time to think about weaning - but not going to start yet. i remember with DS1 trying desperately getting him to eat so am going to leave it a lot longer, especially as i don't think that DS2 is ready yet.

I am feeling a lot better as well - been to the gym two nights in a role and DP and I are talking about lots of stuff to do with our plans over the next few years.

Back to work mid December and the lads full time nanny starts on October 13th - a bit of overkill really, but I didn't want to employ a different part time help and then get someone new and also i wanted some time to get my head around returning to work as it will not be a pleasant experience, but thats another story.

Kaz, how do you manage the timing of going to the gym? I'm really trying to work out how to go swimming again - do make my pilates class, and swimming isn't urgent at the moment anyway (still have SPD) but I do want to suss out how to get both girls to bed and then get myself out AND have had something to eat.

I start work again in November. Will post anon on this as babe is whimpering!

Ah, well got DP on guilt and he has been coming home from work and dealing with bed time while I go to the gym for an hour!!! Not sure that they have been bathed but hey, not a problem.

Saying that DS2 was settling round - he was fed at 11pm and then woke at 3am and then 5.30am, finally being fed at 6.15am.

Oops - DP has just read this last message and is not happy re the reference to guilt.

So for the record and for the next time he reads this thread....

DP is being very supportive allowing me to get to the gym as he knows how unhappy I am with my weight at the moment. He is great with both our boys, shares the childcare equally at night and at the weekend - is a great dad, funny, kind and gentle. And he's looking kinda sexy at the moment - which I can appreciate even through my knackered state.

Apology accepted ?

KAZ and MI, I have found a gym with a creche and it's fantastic!
Don't have to ask dh to look after ds in the evening for the gym anymore, which in turn means I can ask him to look after ds when I go out with my girlfriends at least once a week.

I'm going to start swimming again after Christmas, I think - ie after the SPD's had six months to recover. Seems stupid to play it up before then. Until then, the pilates...

Happyspider was wondering where you had gone. By the sounds of it you have this mothering thing under control. Is he is sleeping throught the night ? Anyone else got a baby sleeping through - Dahlia, Jessi etc...
MI I know yours isn;t from the other thread

Our gym also has a creche - DS1 won't go in it, but DS2 is obviously fine so they look after DS2 while I take DS1 swimming. We have started swimming lessons - still trying to get him to try on the arm bands !!

Thinking of having a personal trainer once a week. Have justified the cost, as if I don't lose the weight will have to buy new suits for work which is obviously expensive. If I lose the weight then I will be saving the money. Does that make sense ? Ok, i could just eat less but thats no fun.

Kaz, go for it with the personal trainer - I would if I could afford one - but I do go swimming 4 or 5 days a week so that is enough exercise methinks. Still have a stone and a half to go so I understand how you feel. DD2 is a very good sleeper, she goes from 9.30pm til 7am, and during the day has a good 3 hour sleep, then a teatime one of about 2 hours. I know, we are extremely lucky! Have just been to meet the childminder today - she seems really lovely so that's sorted, I should hopefully start work after oct half term - its wed, thur and fri - ideal really. I am totally dreading leaving her though, I just love her so much, how will she cope without me? We're going to have a trial run before hand to make sure I can cope with it.

You will cope, but ring me any time you need to. I'm dreading November in the same way. Even though I love and respect and trust my childminder, and full-time parenting would drive me mad, I am so much less willing to leave dd2 than I was dd2 at the same age.

I am so so SO impressed by your collective dedication to exercise. And to making the time to do it. My one consolation is that weird fact that this time the weight didn't really go on and came off afterwards, and I'm a slightly fatter version of my normal self. Thank heavens, as I realise I shouldn't stress out my pelvis too much; life's too long to risk damaging myself badly at this stage.

I would DEFINITELY go for a trainer, especially as you're post-pregnancy and need someone who understands.

Dahlia - not jealous of your sleeping baby - you must doing something right My little blighter had about an hour and a halfs sleep all day, though did go done well at 7pm with a huge yawn.

Went to the gym tonight and weighed myself only about 10 llbs and I should be able to fit into my pre DS2 suits - HURRAH. However, about another half /three quarters of a stone before I can fit into my pre DS1 suits. I have kept them in a vain hope...

Work - dreading it, I am returning full time - I hate the job I do, hate both my bosses and have totally lost any interest in it. Choices are limited - if I leave before a year I will have to pay a proportion of my maternity leave money, we can't afford for me not to work as I am the main breadwinner - though DP is coming up fast on the rails. Getting another job in the same field which paid the same would be hard and in any event I DON"T WANT TO. So in order to change our lives we have to move - DP can work from home so we could move out of London. Maybe I should start a thread - feel trapped by the whole situation. Still hope that I will get made redundant and the decision will be made for me

Oh, Kaz, you poor love. I do at least really, really like my work; tbh I much prefer it to childcare, much as I love my two girls. I sent out an email today to remind potential clients that I'd be back in November, and started thinking workily, and realised how important it is to me. But then I work from home, I finish at 4.30 (after starting by 8am!) and I'm not too far from the childminder.

In sharp contrast to all those days when I worked in the centre of London, and did horrific days, and never had any time or life at all!

Hi!

Back again - so interesting to see how all your June babies are doing - my DD is now 16 weeks and am now also facing the dreaded return to work - was going to be full time from December but boss has bribed me into go back pt from November, so like Kaz, I have just joined a gym and taken on a personal trainer to prevent me having to face up to the prospect of buying Size 16 work suits - could not face humiliation of going back to work in my maternity suits, although thought has crossed my mind! Dahlia, like you, I need to lose about 1.5 stone - maybe we should try and encourage each other - I am trying to lose it by Xmas - just over 1lb week - although I do readjust this every week as it was meant to be off by my return to work!! I am completly gutted at thought of going back depsite fact that DH is looking after DS And DD - would like to stay off longer but not sure building society would waive their mortage repayments in lieu of a happy home! Hoping that a personal trainer and several pilates sessions will sort out the havoc wreaked on body after 2nd baby - feel quite depressed that at this stage after DS I was lighter than before I got PG - need to lose weight now otherwise am looking at being enormous at 40 - a bit of a family trait. Went to the new Harvey Nicks in Manchester recently and thought I was going to be asked to leave as did not look like the kind of person they wanted - got momentarily very wistful for my younger days of beign well paid slim girl about London in trendy gear - would never swap that for what I have now, although do miss the weekly facials I used to treat myself to as I used to think I deserved them with all the stress of being single and over worked - if only I knew then what being busy meant!!

Weaning is not going too well - DD is a big baby (18lb and stretching her 6-9 month clothes to the limit) and I thought she would love food but seems to either not be interested yet or already have refined tastes as the look on her face when I gave her Baby Rice was one of complete 'How could you do this to me, Mother?' She did like banana but not enough to stop her from diving onto my boobs and refusing to lift her head up. Hate to say this but she is a very good sleeper - been doing 9- 13 hours since she was 6 weeks old - must be something in the Manchester air as I think Dahlia must live near me.

Could do with some advice on what you do with your bubs to entertain them - my DD is now just getting into her baby gym and will sit in her chair for 30 minutes and watch CBeebies but besides that I worry I am boring her as the rest of the time she is awake I just sit her on my knee and stare at her adoringly, telling her how much I love her and kissing her - she always smiles back and seems OK but there must be more to do? Any ideas? Took her 'swimming' with DS a few times and that has been fun but not sure what else to do - want to make the most of the end of my mat leave with her.

Really interesting to read about you all - take care

Sharon

Dahlia,

Forgot to add, I went thru the same thing when I left my DS with childminder when I went back to work. It is hard and you need to make sure that when you do the settling in sessions, that you have something very distracting to do so that you can not dwell on it and rush back to drag DD away (as I did with DS on day 1).

On the 2nd day, my friend booked me in for a facial, knowing my addiction to them, and it really did help me relax and chill out for an hour and made me feel in a different place from my ususal child centred routine. Try and sort out things to do that you might not have had time for since DDs arrival to help - lunches with non Mum friends, exercise, manicures, eating cake, anything really nice and indulgent helps and remember that your DD will almost defintely be fine - I was amazed how quickly my DS settled in and how he enjoyed being with other kids his age and how it helped his development. He made friends at the childminder that 3 years later he still talks about and I think it was a positive experience for him, if not me!!

Hope it goes well,

Sharon

SHaronE - DS2 is now 18 weeks and I haven't started weaning yet. He is also a big lad and is in 6-9 months clothes but mostly because he is sooo long. I remembered getting stressed out trying to feed DS1 at 4 month so had decided to leave it for a bit.

He is definitely teething and pushing the bottle away - this morning we managed about 4oz at breakfast and since then about 3oz - DP presently trying to feed him and I can hear the screaming - OOOPs

SharonE, thanks so much for your words of support re childminders, weight etc - yes, we should definitely encourage each other! That said, I am waiting for dh to return with takeaway curry, rice and garlic nan as a special treat (haven't had one since the day I went into labour) and I am actually dribbling. How disgusting is that? I am so excited I can hardly sit still. And next week we are away so I am going to enjoy myself and go back on the diet when I get back. (We live in Sale, where are you?)
Kaz, I really sympathise about your job situation. In my last job I had a boss I couldn't stand and I just hated going into work. I hope its not playing on your mind too much, at least you've got a while yet before you have to go back.
We had a photo session today at a lovely posh photographers and dh, dd1 and I were all ready and dd2 was dressed in a beautiful outfit and fed and sitting in her chair all mellow and chilled, and we had 2 minutes before we needed to leave the house and dh told me he hadn't changed her nappy when he fed her, so I thought oh, I'll just do it quickly now before we go - went to lift her out of her chair, slid my hand under her, and oh-my-god the plop had well and truly landed - it had seeped through her lovely pristine outfit, was all over her chair, oh, it was horrendous - I grabbed her and sprinted across the lounge into the kitchen, screaming at dh to help me - dd1 got a fit of hysterical giggles while we attempted to peel off the pooey outfit and wash her down with 400 baby wipes, while poo just went everywhere, all over us, the changing mat, (which is on the kitchen table) the kitchen table, the floor, and eventually I lost it and just started laughing like a demented hyena while chaos reigned all around me.
Needless to say we were late to the photo session......

Dahlia, I was laughing out loud at your story about the poo with the photo session - we had a similar one with my DS at our wedding last year - we decided he did not need a nappy for the day as he had been out of them during the day for a couple of weeks quite successfully and left him with the MIL to bring to wedding. About 2 minutes before they were due to leave, DS sat on MIL knee, both dressed in all their wedding finary and, you guessed it, he peed all over her and she had to attend the wedding with a distintive wet patch!

You are right about the encouragement - sounds like we both need it - I have just made a huge cake for lunch with friends tomorrow (I think it would be rude to give them fruit salad!!) and am 1/2 thru v. nice bottle of white wine - when you get back from holiday, we really need to start with a weekly check - no cheating!! I live in Didsbury - which does not help when feeling large as it is far too full of young slim students and also has far too many cafes that it is too easy to pop into for cake!!

Kaz, it was reassuring to hear that your baby is big and not being weaned yet - like you, I found it quite stressful and I like the ease of b/fing - no paranoia about allergy, sterlisation and leaving house with full feeding kit. Will try again this week - todays atempt to create pureed organic pear ended with burnt pan when I forgot about it for over 2 hours!! Note to self, don't drink wine when creating DD baby food!

Off to tackle second half of wine bottle - will pay for this tomorrow but hell, feeling wreckless!!

Sharon

I'm definitely not going to start weaning yet, if that's any help. Mind you, my dd2 is obviously minute compared to yours - we're just getting into 0-3 month clothes!

IKWYM about the amusing them - I always feel terribly guilty when other people wave toys entertainingly at dd2. I honestly think she rather likes sitting on my lap being adored and/or watching the world go by. She has this gaze which is exactly like Gromit off Wallace and Gromit. And, of course, there's always her big sister to come and make a VERY LOUD fuss of her

Dahlia, what did dd2 wear to the session in the end? LOL!

She wore a boring plain pinafore dress because I am trying to keep all her nice things clean for going away tomorrow - but it didn't really matter what she wore as he took black and whites, and had us in such bizarre poses that no-one will even notice what we are wearing. Can't wait to see them!
Curry was amazingly delicious last night, I made very obscene noises whilst eating it...

For the record, I don't particularly "play" with dd2 - like you say MI she loves people watching, and just being held and chatted to, or we watch tv together which is really nice. She only really plays with her babygym and that is for about 15 minutes then she has had enough. DD1 likes making a tent in the lounge with loads of chairs, umbrellas, a rug over the top etc, very cosy, and the two of them lie in their side by side cooing at each other. Extremely cute...

I meant "there", not "their". God, I'm slipping fast.

kaz, I wish I could agree with you re me entering motherhood graciously...
I confess I have been posting elsewhere about my problems with messy house as I still feel I am at the early stages of motherhood and don't want to sound like I am always looking for sympathy.

You lot all sound great and have 2 children, I am really impressed.

I have been lucky because ds is a wonderful baby, he's quite big, sleeps through the night and feeds without a fuss, however he's been hungrier and hungrier lately and (hope Mears is not reading theis )I have been giving him the bottle more and more often and he's now nearly exclusevely bottlefed. I feel a bit bad about it, but it was either that or my sanity, as he had started waking up again at night, crying himself to sleep and increasing the amount of formula seemed the only way to calm him down. He's 4 months old now and a whopper, and I know that I could start him on solids, but if he's happy with the bottle I will wait until 5-6 months before I start weaning him.