would you say something if you saw a baby without a hat in this weather in the park?

[Turtle35]

not sure if it was the baby's mother maybe it was a nanny but the baby was crawling in the park without clothes on and NO hat it was probably 30 degrees today in London, I was so cross I left. Should I have said something? I know it's none of my business but...

I know how you feel turtle. I get so upset sometimes. Like the woman I saw slapping her baby on the bus. I had tears in my eyes and felt so distressed.
Actually the other day sometime came up to tell me that my baby's head was now in the sun because of the way the hood on the pram was fastened (I was playing with ds and dd was asleep). I was very pleased she told me, said thank you politely and adjusted the hood. Was she a busybody who should have been told to f** off? I thought she had my child's welfare at heart.

Serah, what's a 'protect a bub?'

aloha - at woman slapping baby! re the lady letting oyu know that your childs head was in the sun surely it was to do with her approach etc..

'she was suntanning with her girlfriend and had a rather nasty dog running around trying to bite people, they were near a tree but it wasn't shading the baby, she was drinking beer and seemed rather unconcerned'

and

'it really pisses me off when I see people neglecting their children, she really didnt look the type to be putting sun screen on'

would suggest that turtle had at that point made up her mind about what type of mother this woman was. imho i think it is perfectly ok how you were approached as it sounds like it was helpful and non-judgemental etc..

I know i am not explaining myself well but you can tell alot about a persons views by their tone and non verbal signals and if the woman agressively said that your chjilds head was in the sun and shouldnt you put a hat on etc perhaps your reaction wouldnt have been different.

In relation tho to the baby being slapped - this is clearly abuse and i would have felt compelled to say something in a very clear voice.

Not seen all comments but the other day it was very hot and sunny. DS + DD were lathered in factor 50 but I got some real hard stares because I had neither a shade or a hat for them. Parents are the most judgemental peopleand I include myself in that. It's hard not to be, but unless it's something hugely obviously wrong, we should mind our own business else try to consider all the facts.

totally agree with eidsvold.
It is easy to assess a situation and jump to totally the wrong conclusion iyswim. You cant always tell what 'type' of person somebody is and to be honest it is none of my business what other people do / dont do with their children.

It is sweet that you were concerned, but to be honest ds has never wore a sunhat (he wont) - but is smothered in sun cream. If somebody commented to me I would be really annoyed.

Funnily enough, I was fiddling with my ds's hat on a very hot day, trying to get the strap under his chin to keep it on, and he was fussing because he didn't want to wear it.

An elderly lady came up to me and quite agressively said "If he doesn't want to wear the hat don't make him wear it!"

I was so shocked I actually didn't say anything (but wanted to say mind your own bloody business!)

a protect a bub is a uv protective canopy that fits on pushchairs with canopies (but obviously it is much bigger than the puschairs canopy).

They are brill

www.practicalpushchairs.co.uk/pages/accessories.htm

scroll down the page and you will see one fitted on a twin - described as a sunshade attachment. They pull much further forward than the one shown too, and fold down to the size of a paper plate!

I don't have shares in the company btw! Just love mine!

sorry i have sat under a tree drinking beer with my dog running around with my kids who may or may not have been wearing hats

Well, yes, she may have misread the circs, but to be fair to Turtle, she didn't actually say anything and she can't help her feelings of sadness about a child who she was concerned about. I think many of feel far to frightened to say anything for fear of being abused. I think the woman who told me about dd's head (in my defence, the sun had moved) was very nervous but I'm glad she did otherwise she may have been burned. As for the woman slapping her baby - I am ashamed to say, I was scared of her and frightened of making things worse.

pmsl at 'she really didnt look the type to be putting sun screen on'

No - but then I've had one who would never keep a hat on for more than 2 seconds.

I agree with Turtle. Seems to me that we're all so busy minding our own business and not questioning anyone else's right to parent as they see fit (although some practices are clearly abusive) that children end up the losers. If we all remembered that children are not our personal possessions and tried to look out for each other's kids don't you think the world might be a safer and more child-friendly place?

There is a difference between seeing a child being shouted at and abused (slapped, etc.) and seeing a child rolling around in the sun.

Having said that I think most people can be very hypocritical about this kind of thing, I am including myself in the word hypocritical. We make judgements about relatively innocous things, but don't shout and scream when we should.

Have you heard of children being starved, tortured, abused until they die ? Several recent cases on the news. Social Workers HV's, GP's the whole lot of them failed to care enough to save those poor little children.

Those are the cases we should take an interest in not what factor sun cream a child is wearing.

Unless your witnesses child abuse, it doesn't help. I have been lectured so many times about a lack of hat on my kids and everyone one of them takes it off, and throws it on the ground to the point I leave it off and moniter them for heat or we will spend our whole walk, baby throws hat, mom picks it up, baby throws hat, mom picks it up, you get the idea and it's faster and quicker out of hte heat to just get there. I hate being lectured ( usually contains a judgement )but appreciate helpful comments/advice or a smile even). Once I saw a women losing it with her baby, yelling, threaten to smack, I just put my hand on her shoulder, smiled and said we all feel like that sometimes. It gave her a pause, she smiled and the situation cooled a bit. Sometimes moms just need a time out not a lecture!

Well, as the mad foreigner who used to take her children out without shoes - people making comments does occasionally wind me up, usually when I am having a bad day, anyway. However, I must be honest, I prefer living here where people do say this sort of thing to your face.
I do think it is sad we are afraid to talk to one another. Yet, Turtle, given what you have described, I would have felt bad but not said anything.

Just came back from the nursey shop and saw a young mum trying desparately to keep her baby's head covered.
She had her hand over it's head making some shade, then a letter........the thing was if she'd moved about 4 metres either way they would have been sitting in the shade of a tree.

Very odd.

child abuse for not making a child wear a hat in hot weather???????

some of you have led very sheltered lives. HONESTLY!

hoiw about the dog? are you reporting that the rspca? what kind of dog was it? how was it trying to bite people? did it succeed?

turtles in the park. In some regions they would eat you

Fio2 - Not another flippant accusation of child abuse????

Surely its not as cruel as feeding them MacDs?!?!

And of course you're right Fio2.

.... my DD (11 mths) WON'T wear a hat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take me away Social Services!

love the commment re MacD's tootchache - but that is a whole other 'supre sized' thread

Not take ds there since seeing that programme.

mine have often gone out without hats on, they are a PITA my kids, but I dont abuse them ffs!

anyway off the slug beer under tree at park with yorksghire terriers and unhatted children

Slightly off topic, but yesterday in 30 degrees heat I saw a baby in its pushchair in its cosytoes!

No. I wouldn't have said anything. Mine wouldn't keep hats on till around age 3. My friend once got berated by a furious Ozzie for leaving her baby's legs bare on a mild May morning and she was not impressed...

I don't think anyone was saying it's child abuse for a child not wearing a hat.

Fio2 you are not very funny anymore.

I am not trying to be funny, i think some people have over reacted on this thread by comparing it to abuse

honestly though turtle why do you think you should have said something? and what do you think that would have proved?