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Parenting

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Staying for the children's sake

163 replies

thehappyparent · 11/01/2010 12:41

There are many valid reasons why some parents have no option but to leave the family home. But for those who are simply unhappy with their marriage, leaving may not be necessary in order for them to find happiness. Indeed, leaving is not even a guarantee of finding happiness.

Being a parent has been the most fulfilling aspect of my life. I cannot imagine any other experience bringing me more happiness.

Having decided to stay in my bad marriage in order to provide my children with the best upbringing I could provide them with, I found that my happiness in life came from seeing them grow into two wonderful, well-adjusted adults.

Staying may not be the right solution for everyone, but it can be for many who feel 'stuck' in their unhappy marriage.

If you can love your child more than you love yourself you can find fulfilment that only comes from being a parent. That's not to say that only those parents who stay are good or loving parents. Or that those who leave are unloving or bad parents. I'm not saying that at all.

What I am saying is that in many cases, staying in the family home really can work for both parents and the children. And that true happiness can still be found, regardless of the marriage not being perfect or very fulfilling.

My children are both glad that I stayed.

So am I.

OP posts:
MaggieMnaSneachta · 11/01/2010 18:41

I don't care how shitty you were to live with. You called time on the relationship at a time that suited you. It was all about you. Access to the children, you didn't have to pay maintenance. And you have turned your selfishness into a virtue??? you are evangelical about presenting your selfishness as some kind of aspirational lifestyle!!!!

You tell us to 'be objective'. To have JUST your side of the story is subjective. DURRRRRRRR.

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion · 11/01/2010 18:42

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posieparker · 11/01/2010 18:50

OP, I am genuinely interested at what age it is 'good' for the children to see their parents existing and not 'being' together?
What model of good adult relationship do they follow?
how is the unhappy marriage manifest? Is it falling out of love? Resenting eachother? Do the unhappy couple have to be friends?
Does each parent exist without love and affection? After all you can't sleep with your children!
How many years can this go on?

Interested in this thread?

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MaggieMnaSneachta · 11/01/2010 18:54

posie, i guess they would need to have equal indifference to each other!!! how often does that happen?

BitOfFun · 11/01/2010 18:57

I thought you had a girlfriend in Florida, Steve? At least you do on Twitter. And she's in a really dramatic battle to save her children from the evil government evicting her because she can't pay her utility bill or something? It all sounds a bit trollish to me. I don't think we can actually believe a word you say. But you carry on being "creative"- it obviously helps keep you busy.

StayFrosty · 11/01/2010 18:58

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MaggieMnaSneachta · 11/01/2010 19:01

You'll never penetrate his forcefield of narcissism!!

I prefer Creepy MacPompous de slough

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion · 11/01/2010 19:02

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TrollyMcWankingman · 11/01/2010 19:07

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RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion · 11/01/2010 19:11

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RumourOfAHurricane · 11/01/2010 19:12

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WhoIsAsking · 11/01/2010 19:12

Have you read the quotes on his web page advertising his book?

"This book it great" - Elaine.

hahahahaa

posieparker · 11/01/2010 19:13

i tried to register the domain name twatter as a no holds barred slagging people off site....it was alreadt taken.

caramelwaffle · 11/01/2010 19:29

Yep. Stevie boy is back.

Steve. On your previous threads you said that you did not wish to put forward anything that your wife may have had to say on the situation - any viewpoints or direct quotes - so as not to "denigrate her.. or "to respect her privacy" and yet, and yet, you air all your dirty linen etc etc

I am afraid you did NOT stay for the sake of the children; you walked away when they were rather young.

It would have been better in my mind for you to have left when they far younger (and worked at successfully co-parenting whilst you and your wife lived apart) or much, much older perhaps.

posieparker · 11/01/2010 19:36

On MN I always read gf as Gina Ford...doh!

LadyBiscuit · 11/01/2010 19:44

posie. I thought gf was SWMNBN?

I am annoyed this bloke is back. I reported him, his threads got pulled (several of them) and here he is again. He's like reflux

AnyFucker · 11/01/2010 19:48

no, he's like thrush

MaggieMnaSneachta · 11/01/2010 19:51

thrush with an ego

posieparker · 11/01/2010 19:51

I've heard Or Herpes, I've heard that that never goes away, just lies dormant and then reappears.

posieparker · 11/01/2010 19:52

where did the 'Or' come from?

LadyBiscuit · 11/01/2010 19:54

Or genital warts

posieparker · 11/01/2010 19:59

LB, I've tried really hard but don't understand SWMNBN...

[stupid emoticon]

MaggieMnaSneachta · 11/01/2010 20:01

God bless him, he's a poor eejit.

Has anybody bought his wee book at all!?

Remember last time his sock puppet friend turned up to tell us he was a really nice guy!! lol

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion · 11/01/2010 20:02

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MaggieMnaSneachta · 11/01/2010 20:02

ps I was channelling the voice of my grandma there, that is how she talks about people when she can't stand them.

she who must not be spoken??

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