SAHM vs Working Mum - debate here please!

[jackstarbright]

O.k go for it! You know you want to...

I think it is a shame as I have seen DP on loads of threads during my time and in the main she has been a very funny, friendly MNer.

But to be honest after some of the more inflammatory threads recently I wonder what the hell she gets out of MN. I never see her on just the normal, trivial crappy threads, just on the threads which descend into rucks.

The sad thing now if that so many people have seen DP's more controversial views, that even if she did rock up on a thread talking about sequin leggings or whatever, i think people would be a bit at her.

DP - I know you are within your rights to post what the hell you like, but sometimes I wonder why you do when you know the response you will get.

Aitch do you have a forum etc. for BLW? If so can I have the link?

ApologisesForSlightThreadHijackCarryOnTiggaxx

I remember MD, that you once volunteered to be chained to DP ...

did I now? I must have had a very good reason!

I think DP is being bullied.
Someone said 99% of people on here do not agree with her views on the BNP.
I don't think that's correct because hardly anyone is going to post in agreenment having witnessed the abuse she gets.

The same with the SAHM debate, I'm sure there are lots of women on here who think there should be a SAHM but daren't post in fear of being flamed.

I was a SAHM.

Then DH lost his job and we sold the house and moved to somewhere cheaper.

I now work full time, because my children require one parent at least to have an income.

Should i just not bother? Would that make me a better mother? Who do you think should provide their shoes, their school uniforms, their food even?

i am sorry if mentioning your political idealogies is upsetting.. although i don't think i mentioned the BNP.. your political views that you are outspoken about elsewhere on teh board have become part of your oersona, and it is hard to disentangle them from what you post.

same as my idealogies about birth no doubt contribute to what people on here think about me

No, it wasn't you Lulu, it was another poster. Who only posted once. Which counts as hounding in my book.

I think we are all driven by conscious and unconscious scripts. Frequently we want to give our children the childhood we never had, and so we have an emotional investment in our stance.

DPs views are not restricted to people who agree with her opinions on other matters. I know there are plenty of lentil weavers who believe exactly the same thing about mothering, and plenty of research backing one viewpoint or the other.

Its an opinion. DPs version of a good mother, in her mind, is not going to work in the early years. Its a widespread view.

I agree that we should tackle the inequality of our society that makes being a mother so hard, whether sahm or wohm.

here you go dawntigga

dp is the construct of an advertising creative researching what makes modern mums tick, didn't you know that?

"There was absolutely no need to bring up DPs political views on this thread."

So here's the thing Mme D. BNP voters one and all think that women should be kept at home. Just as they all universally think that immigration is a Very Bad Thing. So that particular political belief is relevant to a sahm/wohm debate. The other political parties are all much broader churches with much broader ranges of opinions.

Well indeed. But many other people of different political persuasions believe exactly the same thing. So to mention can only have been done with intent to prejudice other posters against DP.

Believing mothers should be sahm in the early years does not make one a member of the BNP.

It was an irrelevance with intent of malice.

I am on a post and dash,

Daftpunk I am sorry, I can now see that you did apologise for attention seeking and when booted off the thread you did as you were told and came here.

I don't think people are being silenced for thinking that being a SAHM is a good idea. I have myself said that if possible I think children benefit from having a parent at home, that is how my family works. I disagree that it has to be a woman though.

I don't think her BNP support was relevant at all. Lots of people I go to church with think that a mother's place is in the home ( I am of the same faith as daftpunk) they are not members of the BNP.

I don't however think that daftpunk is being bullied, people are just disagreeing with her. I also think she loves the attention.

Do you all mean my post? I think my comment was entirely relevant. I'm not prepared to be lectured about what's best for my children by a racist bigot.

Wastwinsetandpearls;

Apology accepted.

SIgh. No Georgiamama, it was Anniebean or whoever's post.

And I don't think DP was lecturing. She was stating her belief.

And bigot or not, she has very right to do so on MN.

I Don't see any lecturing from DP, but an awful lot of self-righteous stone-throwing.

Yes, DPs support of the BNP is abhorrant to many people. But fight that fight when its the topic of conversation.

She absolutely has every right to post whatever she likes. And I have every right to say I have absolutely no interest in taking on board her views on whether or not I am a good mother because her viewpoint on that is coloured by a political creed which is racist, bigoted and sexist (and therefore it is relevant to the conversation).

If that makes me "self righteous" fine. Make me a badge, I'll wear it.

GM, I do actually agree with you in regard to DPs views, and she knows it.

But unlike some other posters on MN with utterly repellent stances who remain supremely unmoved by the opinions of others, DP at least engages and gives it a go.

Oh no, I adore Xenia.

Georgimama;

I don't expect you to take anything I say onboard, not because of my political views, but because I'm an internet stranger and anonymous people really shouldn't matter to you.

But like MD says, there are 1000's of people who think women should stay at home when their children are young, and most of those people wouldn't vote BNP if their life depended on it.

There are worse things a mum can do than work and show her children independence and equality and DP you do plenty of them!

Actually I have a problem with anyone who says "people should do x" no matter which people are saying it, who they are saying it about and what x is. I am irritated people who extrapolate general principles from personal experience.

I have no problem with anyone saying "staying at home was best for me and my family and so I do" but they have no right to take that further and make a case for the view "and therefore it is best for all families and is what all women should do."

I agree georgi I stayed home but its not teh best choice it was just mine and I was freelance for part of it and ill for teh reast so although i seemed like a sahm i worked too

oh god this keyboard is getting worse sorry!