How do you maintain an enthusiastic demeanor about your child's school play, when inwardly you HATE that it is nativity?

[nevergoogledragonbutter]

Ok, so i'm not religious. I'm personally somewhere halfway between atheism and humanism depending on whether i can see a difference between the two, a moment that comes and goes.

But, I have come to accept that we live in a country that teaches a 'broadly christian' approach after being initially a bit wtf to find that him going to a non-faith school actually doesn't mean we can avoid the subject.

I don't feel that taking him out of assembly would make any difference other than to make him feel different about something he's too young to understand.

But, it irritates me highly that he is taught bible stories at a non-faith school and it irritates me even more that he will be expected to re-enact the nativity story and spend the next 6 weeks learning his songs and lines.

And while i would dearly love to see my 5 year old sing and dance or say some lines, the experience is marred by the play being religious. i have to somehow look past the religious aspect.

I don't want my own beliefs to ruin what could be a very enjoyable thing for him to do with his friends.

Is it possible to keep my feelings hidden? Is that the appropriate way to deal with it?
Why can't they do something else that would be entertaining for everyone?

Can you think of the Nativity as a sort of tradition - a bit like dancing round the maypole? That's how I did it.

IMHO I think you should just accept that this is the way of things in schools and just because it doesn't fit with your beliefs or lack of them, doesn't mean that your ds isn't still getting something out of it in terms of working with his classmates at this project, enjoying a sing-a-long and the excitement of performing in front of you on the day itself.
They could do something non-religious but seeing as Christmas is a religious event, it would seem strange if the play at that time of year didn't reflect that.

Lighten up. Look at it as a fairy story. That's the way the kid see it.. and it IS a cool story.

Do you object to celebrating Christmas? Because like it or not, that's what it's all about.

I'm guessing that you don't celebrate Christmas then.

If it is a non faith school they are not making him believe, they are just teaching him about a story.

if your child is involved is that not cause alone for enthusiasm?

I am a really hardline atheist, but didn't actually object to DS nursery doing a 'nativity' last year - it's only a fairy story after all. And the cuteness factor of kids with towels on their heads picking their noses and singing out of tune is quite endearing, really, whether the story they perform is a christian nativity, Snow White or an apisode of Bob The Builder.

I am with you NGDB. I object to the whole delivery as if it is fact rather than some people believe.

Midwinter, winter solstice, yuletide, st nicholas. There is nothing, christian about Xmas in our house, we celebrate Santa!

FFS - It's a play based on a book - no different to them putting on Goldilocks IMO

Do you celebrate Christmas?

isn't it the very nature of performances that they are delivered as if it is fact?? Whether it's the nativity or the 39 Steps, it will be performed to make the audience believe in it. It's entertainment, it's enjoyable, see it for what it is - chance for the kids to show their mum and dad they can do well and be proud of playing the donkey in the manger!

This do "you celebrate xmas" is a total red herring and a weak argument imo. There have always been celebrations midwinter. I don't actually believe that everyone who exchanges gifts in december is doing it to celebrate the birth of christ.

Did you celebrate Halloween? All saints day? or Samhain? Or do you not let your children join in because you don't celebrate the specifics of the festival.

We do christmas, for all the same reasons i'm ok with him going along with the nativity theme. I'm irked, but don't want to spoil it for him.

In principle i think that it's great to have a festival/holiday/whatever in the winter as it would be long and boring without it. I also think that once a year it's great to get together with family and friends and to feel all festive. It makes sense that we do this at the same time as everyone else appears to be doing christmas as that's when we all get the time off work etc.

Plus I don't want my kids to be ostricised from a major part of growing up in the UK.

I think you are right seeker and display, he will get lots out of being part of something and learning about a tradition. That's the sort of approach i need so I can sit on my hands and grin and bear it.

And you don't need to be religious to have cried at the cuteness of the kids that used to do the nativity on richard and judy and they weren't even mine. (although that might have been the pregnancy hormones) .

It's a good yarn. STop taking it so seriously.

Seeker we went for the seeing it as a tradional christmas time story, along with the night before christmas! We have been in to complain about the factual delivery of the resurrection story and found we had to be a bit firm about our beliefs being respected as a choice not as a lack of belief.

We have found announcing we are Humanist seems to get a bit more respect in these little school hiccups rather than an Atheist.

(slap) Not seeker NGDB

well you better learn now. because as a parent you will have to sit through lots of performances that you don't like/ enjoy/agree with.

i hate school shows and dancing performances. i dont celebrate eid or hallowe'en or diwali. i celebrate easter and christmas but not in the way they do at my children school

but i sit and smile politely and applaud at the end. i comment to all the other parenst about how great it was. i thank the teachers for all their hard work and tell my kids how much i enjoyed it.

because its good manners and its part of being a parent.

so get over yourself and practice your fake smile.

I don't care what religion they are discussing lockets, but I have found that every other religion apart from christianity is delivered as "some people beleive" where christian stuff is delivered without that discliamer.

My church school is doing the Mr Men and Little Miss

They are singing Alice The Camel so I suppose that's slightly on-theme

I am quite at this thread

Whats so wrong in letting a child take part in a nativity? Uts the story of the birth of Christ which is the reason we have CHRISTMAS!!!

At some point your child will decide if its real or it its just a story. Same goes with lots of things in life.But whether they choose to believe it or not, the story along with the other stories from the bible have a good message. I think there are far too many other things to worry about.

Anyhow I think all children should get to wear a teatowel on thier head at least once

There is something nice about almost everyone in the country performing in the same play at least once in there lives. I love nativity plays. I was Mary

Good for you lockets. That is what I would like in all non-faith schools. sadly the dds school is very much white, british with a v small sprinkling of other faiths, so I think it is why it tends to be a bit biased.

He came home last week talking about how when he and all his classmates were babies they went to a castle and had water put on their heads.

I told him christening was for babies of parents who believed in god and that because mum and dad don't then he wasn't christened. I threw in a 'not everybody believes in god you know'.

Metatron, i really don't want to be marching up to the school to complain, but it seems i have to keep check on what he is being taught and giving him an alternative viewpoint. Seems a shame, as I really would rather not discuss religion with him at all until he's old enough to get it.

Would i be as irked if the play was from another religion? Possibly not as bothered as it's the majority leaning towards christianity that annoys me mostly. I really don't think religion should form as much of the primary school curriculum, especially primary 1. But i'd be happier if it was a bit more balanced. Do they teach them about atheism or humanism? Isn't Hannukah around the same time as Christmas?