How do you maintain an enthusiastic demeanor about your child's school play, when inwardly you HATE that it is nativity?

[nevergoogledragonbutter]

Ok, so i'm not religious. I'm personally somewhere halfway between atheism and humanism depending on whether i can see a difference between the two, a moment that comes and goes.

But, I have come to accept that we live in a country that teaches a 'broadly christian' approach after being initially a bit wtf to find that him going to a non-faith school actually doesn't mean we can avoid the subject.

I don't feel that taking him out of assembly would make any difference other than to make him feel different about something he's too young to understand.

But, it irritates me highly that he is taught bible stories at a non-faith school and it irritates me even more that he will be expected to re-enact the nativity story and spend the next 6 weeks learning his songs and lines.

And while i would dearly love to see my 5 year old sing and dance or say some lines, the experience is marred by the play being religious. i have to somehow look past the religious aspect.

I don't want my own beliefs to ruin what could be a very enjoyable thing for him to do with his friends.

Is it possible to keep my feelings hidden? Is that the appropriate way to deal with it?
Why can't they do something else that would be entertaining for everyone?

Maybe choose to focus on the love rather than the hate?

Works for me

I think you and your children don't have to believe it is any more than a story. You won't find a more staunch atheist than me but I, ahem, "enjoy" the nativity play.

Agree with SGB and others - nativity play is quaint infant custom.

I can live with the juniors doing a carol service too - it is part of a shared culture. If you don't learn the carols, you can't do the irreverant parodies . And in truth the main thing I miss from being a Christian is a good bit of community singing so I have decided to enjoy it for what its worth. I won't bow my head in the prayers they seem to feel obliged to tack on, and so can see that lots of the other parents don't either.

No hate here Saintmaybe, just a desire to not have my children indoctrinated in a belief system which I do not believe in.

NGDB, get used to it. . Just get yourself ready for easter!

so your top tips are:

remember it's just a story
smile and nod
think of the positives

what no bunfight?

how very civilised.

i asked him if he would be dressing up and he said 'yes, i'm going to be a power ranger'.

'sadly the dds school is very much white, british with a v small sprinkling of other faiths, so I think it is why it tends to be a bit biased.'

People never have the understanding that state schools are broadly Christian, a non faith school merely means that a non denominational school-there is no such thing as a secular school in England. They have, by law, to have collective worship of a broadly Christian nature and to teach RE. The nativity play is a good way to deliver that. Anyone celebrating Christmas needs to know where it comes from IMO. If you don't believe it, all you need to do is explain that that is why Christians celebrate Christmas and do it in a historic, traditional way.

I would be sad to see it go. I get tearful watching other people's small DCs doing a nativity! I think they are lovely.

How would you feel if in the future, despite all your intentions your son finds faith in Christ?

butter (I always think of you that way since the thread where the phrase was explained...) I think the infant school nativity play is a rite of passage. And all the little ones look so cute with towels on their heads or dressed as a donkey. Even back in the days when I was a pagan, I wouldn't have objected to it - think the top tip about seeing it as a story is the way to go.

(At ds's first nativity, two of the three kings were Muslim - I was tempted to ask whether this was typecasting but thought better of it. And the parents didn't object.)

There is no reason why your DC should end up with the same beliefs as you! I am astounded to think that just because my mother gave birth to me she is allowed to tell me what I should think!! There is many a vicar with atheist parents, and many vicars DCs that are atheists.

Very true

Then I look forward to many interesting debates on the subject.

In the same way that i respect my mother's catholicism enough to avoid argument, I would do the same for him.
Or the way i'll go to church weddings of friends.
I'm no militant. I even squeezed out a lords prayer for my mum at my grandad's funeral.

I don't have to believe to do that for them.

But you did use the word HATE in your op....

Surely its best to remain neutral and that way your not pushing your child either way

You know how it is with kids if you say Nooooo

He will end up being a priest!!

If your mothers RC are you?

LOL at the people wishing Christianity on your son just to teach you a lesson.

I don't mind about religion, as long as it's not scientology or any branch of any faith that treats women as second-class citizens, but I do shudder at the idea that ds might one day grow up and vote Tory. eek.

LOL

i am rc AND a tory!!!!

(or regards gay people as possessed by demons or summat - actually I am restricting the number of religions ds could join without me objecting quite seriously here. )

Obviously you are going to bring up the DC with your belief system, but I don't see any harm in them hearing other beliefs from an early age. Ultimately they are free to make up their own mind.
I get totally amazed by the attitude-'it is my DC-if mummy says there is a God-there is a God'or vice versa.
My mother saying that sort of thing was guaranteed to send me in the opposite direction!
It is far healthier to have a range of opinions .
I rather smile at the idea that a few words from a vicar is going to immediately get an evangelical Christian-I would guess that the cases of that happening are extremely rare!
A nativity play is a wonderful tradition-a terrible shame to see it go IMO.

mmmmm i cant watch tom cruise or john travolta anymore

weirdos

chocolate, my father was a cradle Catholic, my grandmother was VERY big in the Mother's Union - Madam Chairman for the whole of Wales at one point - yet he grew up atheist and I was raised agnostic with CofE cultural leanings from my Mum.

years of therapy then.....

'sadly the dds school is very much white, british with a v small sprinkling of other faiths'

What's sadly about that? Being in a multicultural community/school whatever is not something to aspire to, it's just something that is. It's like being disappointed there aren't more Italians or Brazilians or vegetarians locally. Unless you live in densely populated ethnic areas then the mix of cultures and faiths is luck of the draw and no mix better than another unless you happen to be from the ethnic group in question (maybe you are, don't know). I don't get the sadly bit.

I would like my children to make an informed choice. Unlikely if one set of beliefs is being taught as factual rather than a minority belief system.

If the OP was of another faith rather than secular would the responses be different I wonder?

Sorry but I do just have to point out yet again that the midwinter festivals are not the exclusive property of Christians - early Christians bolted their bits of mythology onto older ones.

quite edam.

Er no, i'm not catholic.

my father's a tory and i'm not one of them either.

I'm quite willing to accept that my son will make him own mind up, just like I have done.

But right now he's my disciple .

If you read the OP, you'll see I'm looking for ways to not let my feelings become a problem for him, not ways of making sure he never believes in god.