I Don't love my Daughter!

[LouLou80]

hi, my names Louise, i am 29 and i have a husband who i have been with for over 10 years. i have a 9 year old Son and 3 years ago i had twins, a boy and a girl. I have a situation that i often feel guilty about and i wonder if its normal for this to happen. Basically i love my boys to bits but i do not love my daughter, i never have done. I do care about her and i don't wish any harm towards her but its always been about my boys. When the twins were born I immediately bonded with my second Son but had trouble bonding with my daughter. I totally focused on my newborn son and resented having her around. It got so bad that after 6 months i took her to my mums and left her there. I would see her quite often either when i visited my mum or my mum came to me and i made sure that the boys got to see their sister. i would give my mum money towards her food and clothes and i would make sure everything was ok. I even enjoyed seeing her at times but was always glad to leave her behind afterwards. Earlier this year my mum sat down with me and said that as much as she loved having her live with her she felt that it was time for me to try and bond with her more and suggested that it was time to have her live with me again, i agreed to this so she came to live with me in April. Three months later she went back to live with her nan because it wasn't working at all. Perhaps we didn't give it much time but she missed her nan, her nan missed her, the boys were not used to having a girl around 24/7 and as for me? well i really tried but i just don't love her like i love the boys. So now things are back as they were. She is part of the family and always has been treated as such and i make sure that she sees plenty of her twin brother as its important for them to have a relationship, he sometimes goes and stays over at his nans and they get to spend plenty of time together. So i don't have any concerns there. But its the fact that i don't love my daughter that does sometimes bother me and i do feel bad that i rejected her the way i did and that i took her and left her with my mum. As it happens my mum loves having her and she is a fit and active woman so its not a problem. But why don't i love my daughter like i love my boys? any thoughts/advice? i'm not a bad person am i?

[StefCWS]

You are very brave admitting this

I agree with people when they say to get help as when she grows up she will resent you for this and it may give her some emotional issues that she feels she wasn't good enough

What has your partner said about this? Its hard to comment when I cant relate at all, my little girl is my world.

[Letdownbackthen]

This is a zombie trolls thread

[Thisjustinno]

Zombie AND a troll. It's got it all!

[HeyRoly]

I really don't understand why MN don't delete troll threads. If a story is fabricated and massively disturbing/controversial (as this one is) it'll only keep coming up in Google searches from people seeking real help, and getting bumped again and again...

[yana32]

Hi there umm i didnt get the date on this post but i still would like to post up a bit in relation to it. I had a daughter 9 years ago i dont love her and i dont know how. I leave her with my mom or her inlaws because i cant look after her. Mostly due to not being a moralistic as a young woman i was a whore at a very young age with the habits in alcohol and drugs from time to time. I feel that i wasnt suppose to have her. it was unplanned and her father was evil. ummm i still cant love her as she looks a little like her dad and that annoys me alot. i dont like visiting her or being around her. i am happy to leave her alone. i read in the bible as well that this is the way between moms and daughters including mom inlaws and daughter inlaws but it is not that way between grandmas and granddaughters. So umm i think its okay for me to be this way. `i dont feel guilty about that. the biblical reference may only refer to those who believe that.

[CalmItKermitt]

Well umm you should feel guilty.

[ViveMontand]

To answer your parting question yes. Yes you are.
You're feeling the way you do &, moreso ACTING on it because you are a malignant narcissist who's looking to raise 3 Son Husbands
You do realize that what you're doing (shirking your parental responsibility) goes against nature & that this is not some "uncontrollable phenomenon" that's occurring. This us a CHOICE you are making to soothe the angst you have over not wanting to share the spotlight with another female. This is blatantly obvious.

You don't want a girl because you see her as competition.

You also don't care that what you're doing is going to basically destroy this poor child's life. Unloved. Rejected because of her plumbing. Her life & self esteem...because of YOU: Shattered.
You have Zero empathy.
(Malignant narcissists never do.)
I challenge you to send this letter you wrote in to be assessed to Ollie Mathews at The Narcissistic Resistance on YouTube & have your situation assessed.
ollie_mathews(at)yahoo.(com)
In the meantime, either HIDE that you don't love her & go through the motions of treating her equally or give her up fir adoption to a loving home or...brace yourself to one day be confronted by this rage filled young lady you basically throw out and prepare to be exposed to the world because that is what she & the community are going to do.
Shame on you.
You cannot cherry-pick based on plumbing of the child & throw A HUMAN BEING away & expect there to be no consequences.
You are a horrible person.
I feel sorry for your Sons because news flash...your husband is complicit in this with his cobert enabling. What a p-ssy whipped cuck to passively remain idle & permit you to do this.
Neither of you deserve to have ANY children. These are not PETS you can ship off to the pound. Of COURSE the girl wants to be with grandma because you are loveless.
Your boys will be damaged too.
These are human beings.
Smarten up!

[ViveMontand]

By the way, I am the 54 year old adult Daughter of such a Mom(ster) & enabling Father & 3 Golden Children Son Husbands...(which is what your boys are being groomed to be)
So I'll give the readers a glimpse into what happens to this unwanted, unloved daughter if the Malignant Narcissist Momster & her enabling, complicit covert Malignant Narcissist passive cu-k of a husband. I developed an autoimmune disorder ...primary progressive multiple schlerosis from the stress this inflicted on me & now, a former model & dancer, I am CRIPPLED & confined to a mobility scooter. Mothers like this, Audience...they go on to give everything to the boys their entire lives & make no secret about it as they deny the girl any compassion, guidance, dignity, any nice gifts or necessities in life. In fact, they go out of their way to ensure that daughter knows she is unloved.
ALL of this is fuelled by 3 factors:

1. Pathological envy by the narcissistic mother.
   
2. Passive compliance by the inert abuse-enabling cu-k husband.
   
3. Sociopathy & sadism.
   So do not call this woman writing in about not loving her daughter & acting on it BRAVE.
   She is a selfish, pathological malignant narcissistic SOCIOPATH with zero empathy.
   Despicable.

[Here2helpguys]

just so you know LouLou , you are an absolute bitch. Women are too kind to say it how it really is on this app. I know of an account that went by the fake name Lulu and it caused complete controversy across the workplace. I don't know, the name lulu has kind of stuck with me since. anyway i hope she will inherit or nans money and is at the forefront of the will. have a good night x

[mummyhelper]

when my child came out as transgender and bisexul/non binary I had the same concerns, my natural instinct was also to ship her off to another family member (in Spain).

I haven't seen her since... she will be 42 this March.

[Snog]

This thread is ten years old guys

[lovely36]

I think you might need to see a psychologist or a therapist to address some of these feelings of resentment that you have towards dd. Poor baby girl.

[minipie]

ZOmBIE ThREAd

[Lipsticktraces]

This threads been resurrected that many tines it could audition for The Walking Dead

[SurvivetheCrazy]

Wow, here my daughter met a boy at 15 (turns out he was a psychopath) and separated her from our family as is textbook behavior. He chooses to hurt us using her to perform the deeds and manipulates the grandchildren, forbidding us to see them now. Our hearts are broken, the grandchildren are both in therapy and the only ones happy in the dark chaos are my daughter and her husband who only care about themselves. Selfishness breeds pain but only for those who feel compassion. My daughter and her husband are very disturbed people with deep character flaws that have hurt so many others. Such loss when the inability to love is not there. She used to be such a loving person and now just validates his lies and phoniness. It's not always the parents who change and effect someone's personality. It took years but he ruined our family and their own children in doing so.

[Novae]

I can see that you are concerned with this situation and you know that something is amiss. I would say what others are saying and you need to talk to a professional about the length of time this has been going on.

[wheresthehope]

PEOPLE THIS IS A ZOMBIE TROLL THREAD!!!!
The OP is long gone!