The Zoo!

[WinomoreTheFruitbat]

Is it feeding time yet?

pull up a rock or patch of grass and get comfy in our new enclosure!

Thanks Buddha - x posts

But you know what, we're ok. And we've been ok for a long time now. I can think of DS now without feeling sad. I haven't forgotten, but life has to move on and DD has been a huge part of that. If we hadn't lost him, we wouldn't have her, and that's inconceivable.

Nemo I have just emailed your posts to DP - I really hope he takes as much comfort and insight as I did.

It is so good to know that you are doing fine now - I am pretty sure that when the delivery is over we'll be ok - just want the experience to be over and done with and be able to move on.

Thankyou again for so generously giving up your time (esp when I know you are busy planning your mum's birthday) and sharing such a personal experience with me and my DP. You were the very first person to reply to me on MN and you have always been just the lovliest, lovliest lady - much love to you and your DH xxxx

Ah bless you. I'm not doing anything any of you wouldn't do if things were different. I've only just seen your fb message sorry, have just replied xxx

PS not busy planning my mum's bday, just had to go next door to eat all the cakes my sister had brought and drink tea, definitely don't deserve any credit for that one! xx

Just checking in [appropriate emoticon - not sure what that is...]

I'm around too x

thinking of you today mibbes {{{{{{{massive hugs}}}}}}}} loads of love and support xx

Been thinking of you all day x

Anyone heard anything from Mibbes? Haven't checked fb for messages yet, if I do hear will let you all know asap.

Hope everyone else is ok xxx

Just catching up with the thread and although I know you may not be checking in for a while I wanted to leave a message for you Mibbes. I am so so sorry to hear your sad news. There are no words. I'm so glad that Nemo has had some wisdom to help.
I just hope that the thread opening up again is a help of some kind & please know that we are hear for you with whatever you need.

Thinking of you all xxx

Just had a text from Mibbes:

Baby delivered finally. Just glad that is finally over with.

The hospital had warned her it couldtake a few days (?!) so am extremely glad for her that that proved not to be the case. Have told her that everyone on here has been thinking of her.

xx

A few days thank goodness it didn't! one day is bad enough. Be strong mibbes

Mibbes am so very very sorry for your loss :( Thoughts are with you and your family xxx

Thinking of you, Mibbes. Xxxxxxxxxx

My computer is broken but I'm watching through my mobile.

Just found the mobile version which has made it easier to post today. Lovely to see so many of us here.

Ladies, thank you all so much for kind your wishes. Well following 24 hours in hospital we are back home with our boy and all in one piece.

It was pretty upsetting but the MWs were all lovely and treated us so kindly and sensitively, there is really not much at all I could complain about.
As soon as I started getting pains (after about 5-6 hours) they started the pain relief - paracetomol (why bother !), although they did also give me this to lower my temp as they were concered I had an infection as temp kept creeping up - thankfully this was not the case. A couple of hours later I was given cocodomol which took the edge off for a while but it soon ramped up so I asked for the diamorphine shot - when the MW eventually got to me and gave me the shot (my only real complaint was that it was a good 45 mins after telling her I was a lot of discomfort that I was given the shot). Anyway, wthin 30 mins I was quite spaced out and sleepy with no pain. Some time after 8pm when MW was taking BP I suddenly felt 'something' down below, then a few minutes later a sudden urge to wee - I got Scott to ask the MW to take me to the loo as after reading Kate's experience I had an inclination what may be about to happen. And indeed, a few mintues later when I finally managed to 'let go' and giving the MW a huge terrified cuddle the baby was delivered on the loo into a bedpan (like Kate I was asked to wee into bedpans to check nothing had come away - plus I knew from Kate's story that what they also meant was 'in case you deliver into the toilet').
I had managed to get myself into a complete panic about the placenta getting stuck as on top of Kate's story I had read plenty of similar stories online of the same thing happening at this stage - the consultant confirmed that it is quite common so I was terrified that this would happen and I'd end up with surgery after delivering naturally which just seemed such a waste. Anyway, my concern was in vain as thankfully I delivered the baby in the sac and placenta all at once so no need for any more intervention. I had no pain whatsoever at delivery, none afterwards and limited bleeding so have been so, so lucky. Obviously the situation sucks but it was the best possible outcome to a terrible situation. We ended up staying overnight as I was too exhausted to even walk to the car and still spaced out on the drugs.
Kate, your story helped so much - obviously your advice to take all pain relief, your info about feeling 'something' down below that was different then the fact that you also delivered when you thought you needed a wee meant that I was far better prepared for what happened and therefore felt in control (as much as I possibly could).
We stuck with our decision and did not see/hold the baby. We took a blanket which my grannie had crocheted for Evan (but I never used as it was tiny) - esp fitting as grannie died a few weeks ago. We also left a photo of the 3 of us with a message on it for the baby. The hospital provded a memory box with hospital bands, cot card, footprints and handprints (none of which I have been able to look at yet). they also wrapped the baby in a 'blanket of love' which they provide and then gave us the blanket to keep which I thought was a lovely touch. Although we said we did not want photos they told us that they always take them and keep them in case people change their minds - which again I thought was a really good idea - so we have the memory stick just in case we ever want to see him/her. We were not told the sex but will probably find out at the post-mortem results in 6 weeks.
Anyway, that is our story - somehow we got through it and now the rest of our lives starts.
Thanks again for 'listening' ladies, especially you Kate, you made a huge difference, thankyou xx

I'm so sorry, Mibbes.

I hope being able to post here enables you to organise your thoughts.

You've been incredibly brave. Be kind to yourself and rest all you can.

We're all here xxxxx

Oh mibbes
I'm sat here tears streaming I'm so so sorry you had to go through such a sad and traumatic experience xx we are here for all of what you are feeling/have yet to feel xx you have been incredibly brave and strong

mibbes you are sounding so brave x

How are you doubt today, lovely mibbes? Xx

Doing!!

Mibbes, having splurged forth about 2000 words over the weekend, I seem to have talked myself dry, and I find myself with no idea what to say to you... the next days, weeks and months will be tough, but I am there will be moments of joy, doubtless thanks in no small part to your gorgeous boy (who either has a birthday coming up or has recently had one I think?) Enjoy the happy bits and take the sad bits for what they are, taking time to grieve is not the same as wallowing. It's funny, I really have no memories of this period after we lost Thomas, which I suspect is as a result of the trauma. Though I seem to remember alcohol helped. And shopping, I'm pretty sure I bought myself an entire new summer wardrobe bcause everything I owned was either too big or too small and I was buggered if I was going to go around looking as crap as I felt! Frivolous yes, but helpful for me none the less

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but we REALLY need a new thread or this one will be full and there won't be any way of signposting a new one so people don't get lost.... Don't imagine any of us are feeling particularly witty at the moment, but this will be message 998 so needs must... how about "Back in the Zoo for New Adventures with Old Friends"? Seems a bit lighthearted for our current circumstances, but is the current thread is anything to go by we could be stuck with it for a couple of years! Will start it with that title, then if anyone can think of anything better they can use the final 2 posts on this thread to link to it!

Ok animals, here it is!

Please don't leave me in there by myself like a saddo for too long....

Nemo