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Original poster

I am the worst mum in the world - just sent ds2-2y 4mo to bed hungry

88 replies

BlueSmarties · 01/08/2009 19:21

I'm not fussy about food, never try to force feed or anything like that. we just have one rule in this house. If you don't eat your dinner there isn't anything else.

So ds1 [4] sat in front of his dinner sulking for approx 10 mins then tucked in heartily and had his after dinner treat.

ds2 [2] not interested even with gentle persuasion. So he went up for his bath,no fuss or anything. Came downstairs and said he was hungry but still wouldn't eat his dinner. I relented and gave him a banana but once he started asking for biscuits it was time for bed.

I feel like such a b1tch. he's never seen it all the way through to bed time before. Last time he did this was at my mum's and he sat and watched everyone eat an ice cream but he didn't get one coz not eating dinner - went up for his bath then came down and ate his v.cold roast dinner - then had an ice cream. Thought he'd learnt his lesson then.

Anyone else out there that mean. Only want to hear from those that are - not anyone looking to bash me and make me feel worse than i do already.

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LuluMaman · 01/08/2009 19:24

he is 2.4 and he won;t have 'learnt his lesson'

food should not be punishemnent/reward

of course he'd want an ice cream if everyone else eating one

maybe he was hungry after his bath, but genuinely not hungry before

if you feel bad about it and feel mean, why do it?

i agree that not giving biscuits is fine, but most children of a young age need supper, whether they eat dinner or not

banana and a glass of milk or some toast is accpetable for supper

nickytwotimes · 01/08/2009 19:25

Ach, give yourself a break missus.
He will be fine.
You carried out the action you told him about (with the exception of the banana, but I understand!). You have done him NO HARM WHATSOEVER.

Bet he eats his dinner tomorrow.

FlamongoBongo · 01/08/2009 19:26

He's 2. He'll find it difficult to get to sleep with an empty tummy and difficult to sleep in the night. You're not the worst mum in the world, but definitely not the best if you're using food as a punishment.

Children are the best people to know when their body needs food - how would you like it if someone said 'eat now or you don't eat at all, even if you're not hungry'?

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nickytwotimes · 01/08/2009 19:27

Dear God, Lulu, I think this is the first time I have ever disagreed with you!

geordieminx · 01/08/2009 19:27

My son is 2 years 3 months, and although very bright I dont think he is old enough to get this yet. And would probably wake up at 3am hungry, at which point I would have to get up, go down stairs and get him a bottle of milk.

I do agree with the principle though, and you are right that if you dont eat your tea there should be nothing else, but 2 is still very little.

Having said that you gave him a banana so its not like he's had nothing. Ds eats like a sparrow though so I tend to give in and give him any food rather than nothing ((((soft mother emoticon)))))

nickytwotimes · 01/08/2009 19:28

I'll get my coat...

PrincessToadstool · 01/08/2009 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuluMaman · 01/08/2009 19:29

i;ll forgive you , nicky..just this once, mind!

allaboutme · 01/08/2009 19:30

god thats FINE
if he was hungry he would have eaten his dinner!
my ds (3) fell asleep before his dinner so has gone to bed with nothing
some days they are more hungry than others, he wont starve

nickytwotimes · 01/08/2009 19:30

Phew!

cheekster · 01/08/2009 19:33

I personally wouldnt be able to do this, but I wish I was strong enough to.

What you have done is perfectly fine IMO - Im sure that you will reap rewards for doing so. I hate fussy eaters!

Like others have said - he wont starve!

But Im such a soppy, soft mummy - totally the opposite of what I thought I would be.

bronze · 01/08/2009 19:36

He had a banana, what else could you do? If you gave him biscuits then hes just got what he wants and will do it again.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 01/08/2009 19:36

My son was 2yr 4 months when his sister was born and imo it is too young to expect them to go without. Fine, don't make him another meal but after a period of time I think some milk and toast would be to everyones benefit.

But you are not the worst mum in the world, mine is.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 01/08/2009 19:37

I agree with Lulu, I'd make him some toast so he's not waking up crying at 2 am. There are alot worse things to worry about.

K999 · 01/08/2009 19:39

I think 2 is too young to get that concept. I couldnt care less whether my dds ate their dinner. If they are hungry they will eat. Dd2 is 2 also and most times eats pretty well. If she doesnt eat her dinner then thats fine and if she asks for something later then thats not a problem either. Making any kind of deal about food imo is pointless.

And also at this age I think they do still have days when they are hungrier than others. Dd2 has eaten like a little monster today. I have been in the kitchen all day (apart from when on here ) and she is again asking for more strawberries!!

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention · 01/08/2009 19:42

he isn't hungry he had a banana
I think supper after your bath or just before bed is fine whether tea is eaten or not

craxy to start punishing wiht food

and he wont have 'learnt his lesson'

sheesh I cant stand all this

MsSparkle · 01/08/2009 19:44

I don't think you did anything wrong. If he was that hungry he would have eaten his dinner. Of coarse, no one wants their child to go to bed hungry BUT i feel that by giving him toast would have sent him the message that it's ok to refuse his dinner that you have made for him because he will get toast instead.

You did the right thing imo.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 01/08/2009 19:46

I don't buy this if he was hungry he would have eaten. He might have liked what was offered, couldn't manage it, just didn't want it. How many of you eat food you don't like/want?

juuule · 01/08/2009 20:01

I agree with Lulu.

And I can't believe that you left a 2yo out when everyone was having ice-cream and then made him eat a cold roast dinner before he could have one.

I'd have given milk and biscuits before bed (as well as the banana).

Out of interest what was his dinner? And how appetising would it have been after his bath?

"I'm not fussy about food, never try to force feed or anything like that. "

Not sure that statement is completely true.

nannyL · 01/08/2009 20:10

My charges have gone to bed hungry a few times (a few rare times far between 3 year old once ever, 6 year old about 2 or 3 times ever)

if they dont eat their meal their is nothing else til next meal. (except water) period. Im sure this is why they are great un-fussy children who eat absolutely anything put in front of them

K999 · 01/08/2009 20:12

Or perhaps they just dont want to starve??? My kids arent fussy eaters either and I have never sent them to bed hungry....

dizzymare · 01/08/2009 20:14

How many times have you not fancied or not finished all of your meal, but then gone on to have a bit of something else later on

He's 2 fgs

rubyslippers · 01/08/2009 20:17

if you feel mean then you aren't comfortable with what you have done

a 2.4 year old has no concept of what you have done or learning a lesson

i wouldn't eat a cold roast dinner - yuck

toast and a glass of milk or fruit is fine

K999 · 01/08/2009 20:18

NannyL...I doubt they would eat dog shit if you 'put it down in front of them'...therefore your logic is flawed....

Tocky · 01/08/2009 20:18

I would have refused to give biscuits too. Maybe would have offered a weetabix or something as well as the banana.

But tbh when ds has done this ( very raraely now he's 3) he usually refuses everything on offer but does ask for puddings like biscuits or ice cream. And I reckon that's not hunger at all, so I say no to those! He's never woken up hungry on these occasions, so I think I'm doing the right thing, and I guess you will find out if he is actually hungry or not...

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