Letting a four year old go to the shops unaccompanied?

[wonderingwondering]

DS is 4.5, starts Reception in September. We live 200 yards from our local shop, where they know DS. Today, I thought about letting him go to the shop on his own. We live on a busy road, but there's a wide pavement, and he wouldn't have to cross the road. He's quite sensible.

He seems very young, but he's quite capable of going in to a shop and buying things on his own - he's done that, while I wait outside or in the car, for a year or so now. Is he too young to walk there and back on his own?

Fennel, you really think that is the same as letting them go to the shop alone?

When my dc were each 4 I would not be holding their hands - I also have more than one dc! However, I was close enough to them to be aware of where they were and bring their attention back if they seemed to be straying or distracted, which you would not be able to do if you couldn't even see your dc!

"very, very wide with cars parked between the pavement and the active road, so he couldn't run in the road from there"

A small child here was killed in exactly this situation, running out from the wide pavement between the parked cars & being hit by a car within the 30mph limit

WW, you don't think young children run out between parked cars? Never? Or do the cars near you park close enough together that there is not a big enough gap for a 4yo to fit through?

Stranger danger doesn't cross my mind. Random 4 year old thoughts causing him to try to cross the road would.

do you really think a 4 year old needs to go to the shop alone?

all it takes is for him to see , say, a dog or someone he knows and for him to run across the road without checking

4 year olds have no road sense and limited sense of danger

No I wasn't saying it was the same, but some posters seemed to be saying it was problematic because the OP wouldn't be between the dc and the road, and that you coulnd't trust a 4yo not to just sprint into the road if you weren't holding them, and I was just saying that those aspects could be the same even if you were there.

I know with about 98% certanty that my DD would not run out onto the road. She has played out on the pavement (with the front door open) for about 6mths now and I just know she would not run out. Maybe WW just KNOWS her DS would not run out into the road

My 4yr old has road sense

"But I think the deciding factor for me is that someone might approach him to see if he is OK, and I think he might struggle with that. "

If there is any aspect of the journey he might struggle with then the answer must definitely be no surely?

"very, very wide with cars parked between the pavement and the active road, so he couldn't run in the road from there"

TBH that scenario makes it worse. Cars travelling in the road wouldn't be able to see him so if he did decide to cross, even if walking, they'd have no warning.

You can't ever know that your child won't run into the road at this sort of age - just because they haven't done it yet doesn't mean they never will

Am genuinely shocked at the question in the first place to be quite honest.

why would you send your 4 yr old to the shop? Just so wrong.

He might decide to run, trip and fall into the road, anything.

Blimey why am I even getting involved, just no way.

He absolutely would not run in to the road. Absolutely not. I can't say any more on that point.

I've not had to hold his hand for years, and he always stops at the road, no matter how far ahead of me he is. The only reason I let him go ahead is that he does stop at the road.

my 7-yr-old, normally sensible, got in a scrap with a local tough aged 8 or so, & when the other boy ran at him he just legged it home including crossing a side-street headlong without a glance when there was a car coming

luckily it stopped but, you know...

I hadn't noticed the "between child and road" thing, I thought it was more "near child whislt near road" thing but, yes, children can run out when you are there, it is just easier for you to do something if you are there!

agree ponders

i don't believe anyone can be 100 % confident their 4 year old would not run across the road

"I've not had to hold his hand for years, and he always stops at the road, no matter how far ahead of me he is. The only reason I let him go ahead is that he does stop at the road"

"for years"??????? He is 4!

And how he behaves when he knows you are right there is not at all how he will necessarily behave when you aren't there.

Are you really serious?

We have the traffic police come into schoola nd do road safety awarenes with children throughout the infant school I work at, and also they visit the juniors. It is their opinion, from what I have gathered, that children do not develop proper awareness of distances and speed of vehicles until much older than 4/5y. They may know the idea of the green cross code, but would not be able to judge when they could cross, esp where moving vehicles were involved. Parked cars makes matters worse.

And every 4y surely acts on impulse and by nature they forget instructions when excited r interested ins omething. Their priority is to see the fun exciting thing, not on rememebing some dull road safety rules. As TBH it should be at 4y, as there should IMO bre a responsible adult there to do that for them, and to remind them.

I did, when I was 4

tbh, if I lived near enough to a shop, I think I would let my 4 yo go. She is sensible, she gets roads.

There is auch a risk to cotton-wooling our kids, and we never seem to consider that.

what if a group of teenagers were in the shop buying ciggies and bacardi breezers and they ask him if he wants to go with them to kick a footie about?
would you be a 100% sure he wouldnt go with them? because i know my five year old would

WW, "I have not had to hold his had for years". Years? he is only 4 so, assuming you had to hold his hand occasionally at 2yo then years is a bit of a stretch isn't it?

You seem to be overstating a bit. As to running out - well, you may be right but I would be prepared to bet that, at some point between the age of, say, 3yo and 7yo you will have to call him back from the road at least one time.

In fact this is one of those photgraph moments! Take a photo pf the situation a it is now and look back on it in, ooh, 5 years time and see how things have panned out.

Anyway. Road sense aside, the consensus is he's too young. I agree. I wondered whether anyone else let their child walk unaccompanied at that age, and it seems not. I don't agree that all the reasons given are valid, but there are enough that I'll continue as I am, waiting outside while he goes in to the local shops.

Thanks for all your thoughts.

The mum of the 12y boy who drove his bike out without looking at the junction said "he'd never done it before" when comign to her son's memorial at the first school I worked at. He'd got distracted. His mind moved onto what he wanted to achieve rather than the road safety.

It is can happen to arelatively mature and sensible 12y are you seriouly telling me you cn 10% guarantee that a little 4y couldn;t be distracted and momentarily forget?

Far too young.