Letting a four year old go to the shops unaccompanied?

[wonderingwondering]

DS is 4.5, starts Reception in September. We live 200 yards from our local shop, where they know DS. Today, I thought about letting him go to the shop on his own. We live on a busy road, but there's a wide pavement, and he wouldn't have to cross the road. He's quite sensible.

He seems very young, but he's quite capable of going in to a shop and buying things on his own - he's done that, while I wait outside or in the car, for a year or so now. Is he too young to walk there and back on his own?

No no no no no.
Fair enough wait outside and let him go in alone. That is enough.

I am famous for letting my children do all sorts of things that other people think dangerous, but I wouldn't do this. 4 year olds are creatures of impulse and he could easily decide to cross the road to look in a window or something. And he is far too young to cross the road on his own.

I think this is a first for me - I have never said that anyone is too young to do something like this before!!!

NO! HE IS TOO YOUNG! And yes I know that I am "shouting"!

Too young.

At 4y they are so easily distracted from their key purpose and have no real sense of danger, nor time, nor purpose. Also at 4y it is unlikely that he has good money sense so wouldn't really know what he was paying or for what.

I think this is different to going into a local shop to buy something while you wait outside. The time frame is very different and the supervision is there in terms of him wandering off, the road, etc. Although I still think 3y is young to go shopping on his own - the whole dealing with the money thing alone would be enough for me to question it.

I also wonder why? Why do you need him or want him to go to the shops on his own at 4y?

Aaah but you said earlier he would be out of sight for 50 yards. It's not relevant imo that the shopkeeper could in theory see hime for the last 50 yards, as the shopkeeper won't know that your ds is on his way will he/she?

No way! I let dd wander a bit, but ONLY where i can physically see her ALL the time. She gets the illusion of freedom, but I never let her out of my sight. And if there were roads involved.....definitely not!

He has the rest of his life to be independent.

Some of us are born so independent it's almost a fault.

I would watch him pretty much all the way. But I'm getting a pretty unanimous response! Not attention seeking, just genuinely wondered at what age people do let them out unaccompanied.

Seemed like a good first step. He would not run into the road or attempt to cross it. And a car mounting the pavement could happen at any time, with me there or not.

So, even with me watching him, the view is he's too young.

I am struggling to work out what he is nipping into the shops to buy all these times. Is it sweets? Are you really saying he can handle money and understand what change is due him? I still stand over my 9 year old to make sure she doesn't forget her change, and when I taught junior school children, loads of them did not remember to wait for change in shops when we were on educational trips etc.

Why do you want a 4y to be independent? 4y is still a baby really. I don;t understand why there is a rush to make our little ones grow up so quickly.

He is far too young to be out on his own.
Also he will look very vulnerable walking about like that.

I am stunned at your confidence that he would not run into the road TBH, of a 4yo I find that hard to get my head round.

But if you're watching him, he's not actually going unaccompanied is he? In which case I'd say this was OK.

I would say too young at 4 on a busy road alone otherwise though.

He buys bread and milk while I'm outside. He gets the whole paying/change/receipt thing, but that's not really the concern!

I used to walk to the corner shop from when I started school.

I agree, Hula.

Never got that, either.

I've seen plenty of 4-year-olds running about (in the car park of the dodgy block of flats we'll probably be living in soon), but it's because Mum can't be arsed, not 'Oh, I'm giving them independence.'

4 is too young, no matter how sensible.

It's one thing waiting outside, a completely different matter letting him walk to the shops alone.

4 yr olds are easy to scoop up and run off with

If sometihng happens to make him panic you don't know what he might do.

What if he falls over and hurts himself and you are not there to comfort him?

Wait a few years, what is the rush?

Independent?At 4?You are there to ptotect him and guide him until he gets a sense of danger/reality for himself.He hasn't even started school yet you are rushing things a bit!

No, you can't rely on the shopkeepers being responsible for him 'cos they're not. They will probably be too busy working.

What if he sees a cat/dog the other side of the road and dashes over, a shopkeeper isn't going to get to him in time. If you lived on a quiet close maybe it would be different.

But hopefully when you walk with him you are on the road side, so if a car did mount the pavement you would be able to push him out of the way. On his own he would have no chance.

" He would not run into the road or attempt to cross it."

How do you know?

Think of scenarios that coud distract a 4y boy.

Ice cream van
Ball kicked from other side
A squirrel running up a tree the other side
He drops his money and it rolls into the road/gutter
He sees a friend at the other side
A shiny tractor trundles across and it looks exciting to him
A person he knows gives him a wave, and he just thinks "I could go and say hello"

etc.
etc.
etc.

I have bever yet met any 4 year old child who is not capable of becoming distracted at the sight of anything vaguely interesting to them.

FAR too young.
I havbe a 4 year old DS and am quite easy going but I wouldn't dream of letting him do this.

Why would he need to anyway?
I agree if he were 7 or 8 it would be ok, but not when he is only 4.

Both of mine loved going into the shop alone at this age for an ice cream or a comic or some sweets - I would wait outside. Can't see a problem with that. I would rely on the shop lady to help if there was a problem with change or anything like that. But not anywhere near roads. And you just CAN"T say that a 4 year old wouldn't cross the road - what if he saw a friend on the other side and the friend called "Come and see my new Hotwheels car"?

What is wrong with just letting him go in alone while you wait outside? Surely that is enough independance for a 4 yr old?

I've only just started to allow my ds(9) to walk 200yds to the local shop by himself! Even then, I watch him walk all the way there and back from my bedroom window

My dd is four and there is no way in the world I would let her walk alone. I won't even let her walk to the shop with ds. Children of that age are just too unpredictable imo.