people with 3 or more kids - which camp are you in?

[warthog]

i'm thinking about no. 3 although not really keen. dh is very keen. i've chatted to a lot of people with 3 or more kids and there seem to be 4 camps:

a) barely noticed no. 3 - they slotted right in.
b) no. 3 was a breeze because the other two entertained each other while i could get on with baby.
c) total complete f*ing nightmare. only just getting head above quagmire 10 years on.
d) none of the above.

which camp are you?

A.

I hope dc4 is the same!!

d)

no.3 was by far the easiest baby, easy-going in the day, didn't cry much, didn't need to be held all the time, slept OK, ate well. Basically he was put in his pram in the kitchen for 5 months and ignored.

However, no.3 was the tipping point in that we felt totally outnumbered, spread very thinly... DH referred to it as 'extreme parenting'.

That said, it was probably exacerbated by the fact that the other two were 2.7 and 16 months when no.3 was born. Maybe with a bigger gap it wouldn't have been such a shocker.

A but very busy wit 3 (still time to mn though)

DD1 is 3.7, SN.
DD2 is 23 months, NT
DD3 is 13 weeks.

I would think it would be D for us. She does fit right in, but the other two are both at very high-needs places. If DD1 didn't have SN, it might be easier, but it is generally fine. She is scrummy, though

none

dc3 was prem but not particularly difficult behaviour wise

dc4 has been easy peasy

d.
dc3 has brain damage from birth hypoxia, which didn't really feature in our family planning lol.

so these days i think you just take a punt on life and see what happens

over-analysis will kill spontaneity lol.

c for at least the first two years! But then no. 3 turned out to be twins and no 2 has sn.

c) but ds1 is severely disabled so needs a lot of attention and 3 left us with not enough hands for a baby (ds3) plus toddler (ds2). It's only getting a little easier now ds3 is about to start school and that much older and more independent.

good grief are there any of us with 3 kids without a disabled child

poor old warthog

it's not a great sample, is it? i'm not sure it is statistically accurate for the population as a whole lol...

saintly
I'm blessed and have it easy. DD was 3 months early but is now fine. We have four and though don't know about if dc4 will have any sn theres nothing obvious now.

a) for me - ages are 8, 6 and 2. Going from 1 to 2 was the hardest, 2 to 3 is fairly easy depending on age gaps, obviously.

Also, as a parent you're a lot more relaxed as by the time you get to no. 3. You've worked out that babies don't break if you let them cry for more than 2 minutes and that a stout nappy is a godsend. And you have also gained enough cunning to have some pretty good strategies up your sleeve to keep numbers 1 and 2 occupied while you do essential maintenance and fun stuff with no. 3.

mrsturnip

Initially b) then moved to a) and finally hit the doldrums of c) when we had DS3 (DC4). Possibly because there was a bigger age gap (3 1/2 yrs) between DS2(DC3) & DS3 so felt like I was going back to 2 yrs of nappies, no nursery etc.etc. We loved 3 it really felt like a full family without being overwhelming. 4yrs between DD1 & DS3 was a good distance.

Now DS3 is 5 & at school it's great and I feel lucky to have them all.

Hello

A for me, very lucky!!!

I wonder if it is the bigger gap in ages that made it easy.
ours are 12,9 and 5, but, we decided not to go for four!

ps - this is my first real post and very scary!! the etiquete rules look complicated, hope i've done it all right.

A for dc3,

But dc4, definitely c.

It all depends on the personality of the child, and my dc4 is a proper devil child. dc3 is very easy, and I feel constantly guilty that she is ignored because she is so undemanding.

I should say though, my labour with no 3 was by far the worst of the lot, and I have heard that from quite a few other people.

I was c for us but that was because she had undiagnosed silent reflux so screamed nearly every waking minute and didn't sleep much, and they kept telling me it was colic

dc4 just slotted in didn't really notice her until recently.

Mine are 21 yrs, 18 yrs and 8 yrs... and even with the big gap it was a lot more than 2 kids.. Driving teenagers here and there with baby in tow all the time was tough. Big gap makes it harder..putting on teenager head then toddler head etc. Cant wait for Sept when 18 yr old off to Uni, and only 8 yr old at home.....HOORAY !

wow, I though 4 years (or so) was a big gap!!

I think the thought of having an older one with a car is fab.
can you buy the teenage versions now?

and how do you make sure they all have the same hobbies or sports on the same nights?

Most of days 1 and 2.

Sometimes d: i have to travel a lot sometimes on my own and a 3nd child makes difference as i ve got only 2 hands . Costwise too, with airlines tickets.

D

No. 3 was the easiest baby I've ever come across, and is a very placid easy three year old. The two elder ones however, have developed since No. 3 was born into more than I often feel I can cope with. I think I would be struggling with them regardless of whether no. 3 had come along though. They are aged 8, 5 and 3.