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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

people with 3 or more kids - which camp are you in?

61 replies

warthog · 16/07/2009 14:46

i'm thinking about no. 3 although not really keen. dh is very keen. i've chatted to a lot of people with 3 or more kids and there seem to be 4 camps:

a) barely noticed no. 3 - they slotted right in.
b) no. 3 was a breeze because the other two entertained each other while i could get on with baby.
c) total complete f*ing nightmare. only just getting head above quagmire 10 years on.
d) none of the above.

which camp are you?

OP posts:

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ilove · 16/07/2009 18:00

A for number 3

Number 4, however, was a bloody nightmare!

jellybeans · 16/07/2009 18:02

Our 3rd was twins! Found going from 2 to 4 very very hard!!

juuule · 16/07/2009 18:05

d) I suppose.

Was a bit c) for a while.

Dc3 came 16m after dc2 so that might be why it was a bit hectic for a while. But then dc4 arrived 15m after dc3 and wasn't so bad once the initial weeks of 2hrly feeds ended so I don't know. Dh and I think that it was the change to us being outnumbered for the first time.
Dc3 was a screamer so that didn't help either. I was in the throes of deciding whether to sah too so a bit under pressure in other areas too which added to things.

Apart from that we did move to a) before dc4 was born. I loved having them all close together.

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Ohforfoxsake · 16/07/2009 18:06

b) but oldest 2 are Dss and only 14 months apart, which helps I think.

3 & 4 are both DDs and quite loud, but being girls are quite self-contained (i.e. do lots of sitting down based activities rather than running around bashing things activities).

love it, but it is VERY full-on.

3 was absolutely perfect and very managable. It definately stepped up a gear having 4 - but not in a bad way, only in a busy way.

mankyscotslass · 16/07/2009 18:10

C) I thought I had it cracked with number 3 after two fairly straightforward babies.

How wrong I was.

He is now nearly four and I am learningg all sorts of things about myself and my lack of parenting skills.

I have even just gone and bought "how to talk...." to try and deal with them all!

In saying that I love them all and number three was an unexpected blessing that I am very grateful for.

geekgirl · 16/07/2009 18:10

d)
but then dd2 is disabled

sorry warthog, bet you wish you hadn't asked now!

BlueKangerooWonders · 16/07/2009 18:38

more like c than any other, but also v much like Manky - except that no 3 was our answer to the saying that you should never be outnumbered by your children.

Warthog - our no 3 is not disabled! (but did have v bad colic for first 3 months, and spend the rest of the first year just miserable.)

popsycal · 16/07/2009 18:39

combination of a and b

BintOfBohemia · 16/07/2009 18:43

so - what would you say the most sensible age gap is for the third? Cram 'em in and get it over with or wait until the oldest is of some practical use?

TheProfiteroleThief · 16/07/2009 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowdays · 16/07/2009 19:14

dc3 now 15 months old, and definitely A.

Lancelottie · 16/07/2009 19:40

Combination of a and c... so d, I suppose.

And yep, we have a disabled one as well (DS1)!

Fennel · 16/07/2009 19:44

It was c) for a bit, maybe a year or two, but we did have all 3 in 4 years so they were all very young. But it got easier all the time.

It's a breeze now, youngest is 5.

scienceteacher · 16/07/2009 19:45

a and b.

We did notice dd because she was a girl after two boys. But she knew her station in life.

Once you have a 3 or 4 year old, they can run all sorts of errands while you sit breastfeeding (they will fetch nappies, glasses of wine water, bring you the remote control, phone etc.}

And you can blame the mess on two boisterous toddlers when DH arrives home to chaos.

OrmIrian · 16/07/2009 19:48

That is not to say we wish he wasn't here. Now he is, we love him of course. But he's really hard work and I do think the other 2 have missed out on our time and attention because of him.

popsycal · 16/07/2009 19:55

our gap when ds3 was born were
ds1 just turned 6 starting year 2
ds2 3.5 just starting nursery
I can't wait ti sept when ds2 is in school!

My friend who has 3 would vote c) - her gaps were 3.5 and 16 months when her dc3 was born

mankyscotslass · 16/07/2009 20:01

Possibly the age gap made mine worse, the eldest was 3 1/2 when the youngest arrived, so things were mad busy for a while!

Original poster

warthog · 17/07/2009 10:03

oh god. i don't know what to think now...

OP posts:

Lancelottie · 17/07/2009 10:16

...but Warthog, our third child is bloody lovely, and has a much better relationship with the oldest (our token disabled child) than his nearer sibling.

She also seems to be bringing herself up (heavily policed by her sibs) in a way that just doesn't happen with two.

And it does take the edge off any urge to competitive parenting (though I can recommend the Disability Getout Clause for that too): 'Nah, she can't do Karate/Kumon maths/extra reading/Ballet, because we're already going to Scouts/psychiatrist/nuts that day...'

Lancelottie · 17/07/2009 10:17

In fact, my advice would be to skip the older child bit and go straight to number three.

Original poster

warthog · 17/07/2009 10:41

heh

it's worth it just for the competitive parenting bit!

OP posts:

FigmentOfYourImagination · 17/07/2009 10:42

No3 came when DS1 was 10 & DS2 was 8, so they were at school all day and were able to entertain themselves when I needed them to.

gardeningmum05 · 17/07/2009 10:55

b
have 4 and the older 2 love playing with the toddlers, its great to see them. the older 2 are 11 and 9 and are a great help with the 1 and 2 year old

l39 · 17/07/2009 11:15

Older 2 were 8 and 5 when 3rd and 4th were born (twins, obviously.)

Apart from the first night out of hospital, with husband out partying and oldest two with MIL (she meant well, but they were actually old enough to be some help, so I wish she'd left them with me) which was a bit of a nightmare - the jump from 2 to 4 went very well. (The third labour was much easier than either of the first 2 - right up to the point after dc3 was born when dc4 poked out a hand and a foot, leading to CS under GA)

Having a fifth soon with the older ones 17, 14, 8 and 8.

Third is our only naturally tidy child, and was ridiculously easy as a new baby (luckily so as her identical twin took a few weeks to get over the attempted internal version and was rather demanding during that time.) They've all been wonderful children though.

ErnestTheBavarian · 17/07/2009 11:33

baby 3 b.
baby 4 b/a

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