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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you leave your toddler for two weeks?

106 replies

pirin · 11/02/2009 14:19

I am travelling in march for two weeks without my son who is only 20 months old. He will be staying with his father and his grandmother will be with him during day time. I am sure he will be very well taken care of.

But I still don't want to leave him. You see, I've grown very fond of him in the past 20 months and we are a team, we do everything together. I know I am being a total wuss but I can't help it.

Did you leave your babies before? how was it? a total disaster or a guilty pleasure?

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BlueCowWondersSomeMore · 11/02/2009 14:20

Would I leave mine? No. But if your circumstances say you have to, then you're leaving him with a great team!

IAteMakkaPakka · 11/02/2009 14:22

I wouldn't leave mine, but he's a PFB and I am ultra-precious, so don't take any heed of that!

If I do leave him, I leave him with his dad and his granny though

MrsJoeMcIntyre · 11/02/2009 14:24

I have only ever left dd overnight, and have been yearning to get back to her every time, so no, I wouldn't. But I wouldn't judge anyone else for doing it!

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VinegarTits · 11/02/2009 14:24

I just left mine with his dad and grandma for 4 days the weekend just gone, i dont think i could do it for 2 weeks though, but i do have a clingon, who is practically welded to my ankle when i am near to him

If he wasnt so clingy i could defo leave him for 2 weeks

Dropdeadfred · 11/02/2009 14:25

No I would never leave mine. I haven't even left my 3.9 yr old overnight yet!!

Tamarto · 11/02/2009 14:25

Only if i really had too.

They are slightly older now and i'd have no issue leaving them for a month

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 11/02/2009 14:26

I wouldn't but I haven't been in the position where I had to.

Dh has and I don't think it should be any different, you are leaving him in good hands.

mrsruffallo · 11/02/2009 14:26

I think two weeks may prove heavy going for you to be honset

KERALA1 · 11/02/2009 14:28

My mother left us for 3 weeks when I was 3 and my sister 1. We had a fabulous time with gps. My mother (now over 60) is still traumatised!

Personally too much of a softie have only ever gone away for a weekend but if it feels right for you and DC will be well looked after go for it.

compo · 11/02/2009 14:28

if it was a must for work then I would
if it was a holiday with the girls for 2 weeks then I would rearrange to a long weekend

Frasersmum123 · 11/02/2009 14:29

If I had to, I would feel very aprehensive about it, but it depends on the reasons.

IAteMakkaPakka · 11/02/2009 14:31

I meant to say "wouldn't leave mine for that period of time", sorry. But I think if you feel he will be OK with it then you should try to enjoy it. Now that DS is older and I know he is OK with others, I can leave him for a while much more comfortably. But because he still BFs a lot when he is tired/ill etc I feel conscious that he might be unhappy when I am not around IYSWIM. Bearing in mind I am often out of the house for 11, 12, 13 hours a day.

Hebble · 11/02/2009 14:43

We left my 18 month old with my Mum for 10 days as I was staffing a summer camp for teenagers. She was great - thoroughly spoilt and seemed settled during the whole time. It was a wrench for us and worried she wouldn't remember us but all fears were dispelled when she ran straight to us when we got home. We've left her for odd nights here and there and it's really helped grandparents bond.

Breizhette · 11/02/2009 14:44

I left my 13 months old DD for 5 days as I had to go away for work. I was also still BFeeding at the time. I was so worried about it, and I missed her so much when I was away, but it all went very well. She really bonded with her dad during that time.

BonsoirAnna · 11/02/2009 14:46

This is OK. I left my DD when aged 16 months with my parents for 11 days. We were all fine.

Divineintervention · 11/02/2009 14:47

Why do you have to go?

cory · 11/02/2009 14:48

I never felt leaving dcs with dh was really leaving them iyswim. Dh is a sort of extension of me. No worse for me than it was for him when I took them abroad to stay with my parents in the summer hols.

Leaving thems with somebody else would have been totally different.

Blu · 11/02/2009 14:50

In truth, I would have done all i could to avoid two weeks away.

I know lots of people who have done it, and it has been fine. REALLY - FINE.

But I left DS for about 5 days when he was just 3 and he missed me v badly - to the extent that he pretended to be another child for the whole time I was gone - said 'DS' had gone to stay in Australia.

And he was well used to me being away overnight, and working late when DP would put him to bed etc.

Can you come home in the middle w/e, or compress the trip - oe even take his grandmother with you to look after him wherever you will be?

Original poster

pirin · 11/02/2009 14:51

thank you so much for your replies. I have been thinking about this for a while now it feels good to get some advice.
my husband had to leave him a couple of times because I wanted to travel so he has no pity for me, somehow he cannot see we are always equal but sometimes mothers are more equal than fathers

i am travelling for work but do i have to go? no. i am not going to save lives, it would be good career move though. i am a researcher and it is a good opportunity as I have been away for a while now.

i think it might be too much for him, I work from home so we are always together.

OP posts:

spicemonster · 11/02/2009 14:53

My dad wanted me to go skiing with him for a week this year but I couldn't leave my DS for a week. Bless my dad, he thought I was worried about my DS but the truth of the matter is that I wouldn't have enjoyed myself without my DS

Fennel · 11/02/2009 14:54

I would probably take the toddler with me, plus dp to look after him. I've done that with a baby on work trips before.

I still don't really like leaving mine for more than a few days, even though the youngest is 4 now. I have fairly often left them for a few nights at a time, for work, but I do miss them and 2 weeks would be too long for me, unless it really was an opportunity you can't ever do again.

MrsTittleMouse · 11/02/2009 14:56

I've done it. We thought hard about it, decided that it was worth it, and I went. It was hard at times (for me, not her), but by golly I slept well! DD did a bit of a double take when I first walked through the door and hugged me for a while, but then was fine.

Acinonyx · 11/02/2009 15:31

I left dd for 6 days (conference overseas)when she was 25 months. She's a real daddy's girl and apparently didn't seem upset while I was away. Dh often travels for work, which she doesn't like, but she's used to it. TBH I was loving it for about 3 days then by the last day I actually cried at breakfast!

When I got back she would have absolutely nothing to do with me and screamed if I came near her. By lunch the next day she started to thaw and at bed time we had a long chat where she told me 'dd sad, dd miss mummy'.

I really miss going overseas but I don't look forward to going through that again! She seems to be OK with about 2-3 days but a week or more really upsets her. She is a top of the range velcro child in general though.

I'm not sure I could stand 2 weeks myself.

newgirl · 11/02/2009 15:45

2 weeks sounds tough - can one week be done? or can your partner fly out for middle weekend? then you can see how you go and your toddler is in his routine for most of the time so will be ok.

scrummymum · 11/02/2009 21:26

I haven't personally done this as I am a SAHM and would not leave my DC's for a couple of weeks to go on holiday.

This however is different. If it is going to be good for your career, then I say go for it. My DH has been away for a week with work and if it had been 2 then I wouldn't have told him not to go, even though me and the kids would have missed him and he would miss us. Why should it be any different for a woman.

You will find it tough but chances are that once you have gone down the street, DS will just be having a good time with him grandma and dad.

Just remember to bring a present back .

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