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Original poster

How would you feel if your son/daughter was gay?

110 replies

morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:08

How would you feel if your son or daughter was gay?

I've had several friends make comments which imply that this would devastate them, which I find really odd. Why would people feel like that, in this day and age? Is it just homophobia?

It has also devastated a family I know who have found out that their 20 year-old daughter is gay.

Personally if dd was a lesbian, the only thing that comes to mind is 'thank goodness she won't get pregnant by mistake.'

How would you feel and why?

OP posts:
velcrobott · 31/03/2005 21:10

I would be happy if they are happy... which gender they have a relationship with is their business.... but I would hope they are good/decent relationship

helsi · 31/03/2005 21:10

It wouldn't bother me as long as he/she were "safe" and responsible - as I would also expect if they were "straight". I think it is better to be able to have loved in your life than never to have experienced it at all.

blueteddy · 31/03/2005 21:10

I would be fine if one of my ds's were gay.
Most gay blokes I know are jolly nice chaps!

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:10

I think the only thing that might make me uncomfortable with my daughters is the idea of sexual activity of any kind. And in fact teenage boys make me a lot leerier than the prospect of a nice Suitable Girl. But then I've known so many very lovely lesbians that I'm hardly likely to run shrieking away in horror.

lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:10

i would feel a little sad at 1st to think prob no grandkids, ut wouldnt say that out loud to dd/ds! then i would e happy..if they were happy

th i think its more that men couldnt stand their son to be gay, i think that is more of a problem

Hulababy · 31/03/2005 21:11

The fact that they were gay would not be an issue. I do think I would feel concerned/worried though, especially about the amount of discrimination they may suffer as a result. But I would love them and support them through whatever arose.

I think ignorance is one reason why many people feel like your friends. And there is still alot of homophobia around, even these days. I work in a prison and the level of homophobia I hear about daily is immense.

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:11

Why no grandkids? There are loads of lesbian mums around, some of them on Mumsnet!

WideWebWitch · 31/03/2005 21:12

It wouldn't bother me at all. The only thing that would worry me would be homophobia and the possible consequences of it - I remember being horrified when a gay bloke told me how often he'd been beaten up, in London too.

sansouci · 31/03/2005 21:12

I'd worry about dh having a stroke on the spot! . I think I'd be fine about it, actually. Hard to say. I'm probably too old to look forward to grandchildren anyway.

lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:12

before you all lynch me...the "no grankids" comment is selfish of me, but honest which is all i can be

expatinscotland · 31/03/2005 21:12

It wouldn't bother me in the least. It's her life, and I don't have to live it.

As to people not having kids b/c they are gay, well, there are now plenty of gay couples having children. And plenty of heterosexual couples choosing not to.

pupuce · 31/03/2005 21:13

Helsi - off topic - have you seen my reply to your post here

lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:13

very true motherinferior, sorry

mancmum · 31/03/2005 21:15

my kids can be what they want as long as they are happy I love my kids unconditionally and without restriction...

Caligula · 31/03/2005 21:15

I would feel sad that they would have a harder life than if they were straight; that they would have to experience homophobia and possibly violence against them; and that I might not have grandchildren, or that if I did it might be in quite painful and peculiar circumstances for my DS or DD. And I think I'd feel fiercely protective of them against other people - possibly friends and/or family - who would denigrate my lovely child just because of his or her sexuality.

Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:16

Lil I think that's a reasonable point to make. I think the no-grandkids thing would come to mind - the traditional 'hope' for your children I suppose is for a nice marriage, nice kids, nice Christmas get togethers in matching jumpers etc. And that is harder if you are gay.

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:17

I think I worry more about 'straight' violence against women i.e. domestic.

OP posts:
lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:17

thanks MP, was thinking of hiding then, thought i had put my foot in it

Caligula · 31/03/2005 21:19

Yes, but I'm not expecting my DD to be beaten up by her husband - I'm talking about the random violence of strangers who just happen to be homophobes.

unicorn · 31/03/2005 21:21

not an issue for me... as long as they were safe, not doing anything damaging, harmful or illegal...
what's the problem?

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:21

But WHY no grandkids? I know LOADS of lesbian mothers. Rather zippy, trendy women with nice jobs and fabulous shoes.

Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:22

mi: harder for BOYS though...

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:23

It's also not that easy to find donors - I've had a couple of women I know who never found anyone suitable.

OP posts:
Dior · 31/03/2005 21:23

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:24

I take your point, but I also know several straight women - I was very nearly one of them - who never find anyone suitable either.

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