Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

How would you feel if your son/daughter was gay?

110 replies

morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:08

How would you feel if your son or daughter was gay?

I've had several friends make comments which imply that this would devastate them, which I find really odd. Why would people feel like that, in this day and age? Is it just homophobia?

It has also devastated a family I know who have found out that their 20 year-old daughter is gay.

Personally if dd was a lesbian, the only thing that comes to mind is 'thank goodness she won't get pregnant by mistake.'

How would you feel and why?

OP posts:
velcrobott · 31/03/2005 21:10

I would be happy if they are happy... which gender they have a relationship with is their business.... but I would hope they are good/decent relationship

helsi · 31/03/2005 21:10

It wouldn't bother me as long as he/she were "safe" and responsible - as I would also expect if they were "straight". I think it is better to be able to have loved in your life than never to have experienced it at all.

blueteddy · 31/03/2005 21:10

I would be fine if one of my ds's were gay.
Most gay blokes I know are jolly nice chaps!

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:10

I think the only thing that might make me uncomfortable with my daughters is the idea of sexual activity of any kind. And in fact teenage boys make me a lot leerier than the prospect of a nice Suitable Girl. But then I've known so many very lovely lesbians that I'm hardly likely to run shrieking away in horror.

lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:10

i would feel a little sad at 1st to think prob no grandkids, ut wouldnt say that out loud to dd/ds! then i would e happy..if they were happy

th i think its more that men couldnt stand their son to be gay, i think that is more of a problem

Hulababy · 31/03/2005 21:11

The fact that they were gay would not be an issue. I do think I would feel concerned/worried though, especially about the amount of discrimination they may suffer as a result. But I would love them and support them through whatever arose.

I think ignorance is one reason why many people feel like your friends. And there is still alot of homophobia around, even these days. I work in a prison and the level of homophobia I hear about daily is immense.

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:11

Why no grandkids? There are loads of lesbian mums around, some of them on Mumsnet!

WideWebWitch · 31/03/2005 21:12

It wouldn't bother me at all. The only thing that would worry me would be homophobia and the possible consequences of it - I remember being horrified when a gay bloke told me how often he'd been beaten up, in London too.

sansouci · 31/03/2005 21:12

I'd worry about dh having a stroke on the spot! . I think I'd be fine about it, actually. Hard to say. I'm probably too old to look forward to grandchildren anyway.

lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:12

before you all lynch me...the "no grankids" comment is selfish of me, but honest which is all i can be

expatinscotland · 31/03/2005 21:12

It wouldn't bother me in the least. It's her life, and I don't have to live it.

As to people not having kids b/c they are gay, well, there are now plenty of gay couples having children. And plenty of heterosexual couples choosing not to.

pupuce · 31/03/2005 21:13

Helsi - off topic - have you seen my reply to your post here

lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:13

very true motherinferior, sorry

mancmum · 31/03/2005 21:15

my kids can be what they want as long as they are happy I love my kids unconditionally and without restriction...

Caligula · 31/03/2005 21:15

I would feel sad that they would have a harder life than if they were straight; that they would have to experience homophobia and possibly violence against them; and that I might not have grandchildren, or that if I did it might be in quite painful and peculiar circumstances for my DS or DD. And I think I'd feel fiercely protective of them against other people - possibly friends and/or family - who would denigrate my lovely child just because of his or her sexuality.

Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:16

Lil I think that's a reasonable point to make. I think the no-grandkids thing would come to mind - the traditional 'hope' for your children I suppose is for a nice marriage, nice kids, nice Christmas get togethers in matching jumpers etc. And that is harder if you are gay.

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:17

I think I worry more about 'straight' violence against women i.e. domestic.

OP posts:
lilsmum · 31/03/2005 21:17

thanks MP, was thinking of hiding then, thought i had put my foot in it

Caligula · 31/03/2005 21:19

Yes, but I'm not expecting my DD to be beaten up by her husband - I'm talking about the random violence of strangers who just happen to be homophobes.

unicorn · 31/03/2005 21:21

not an issue for me... as long as they were safe, not doing anything damaging, harmful or illegal...
what's the problem?

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:21

But WHY no grandkids? I know LOADS of lesbian mothers. Rather zippy, trendy women with nice jobs and fabulous shoes.

Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:22

mi: harder for BOYS though...

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 31/03/2005 21:23

It's also not that easy to find donors - I've had a couple of women I know who never found anyone suitable.

OP posts:
Dior · 31/03/2005 21:23

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 31/03/2005 21:24

I take your point, but I also know several straight women - I was very nearly one of them - who never find anyone suitable either.