DD age 8 has told all her class mates Father Christmas doesn't exist

[KatieDD]

And another mother in DD's class has asked me to ask her not to say it again because they were hoping for another year of magic (her daughter is 9).
Now I am having the day from hell anyway but what would you do ?
DD has sussed it now so I cannot say he is real without looking an idiot and I always said I wouldn't lie so when she outright asked I replied that she was right but she mustn't tell her younger sisters.

I asked my kids about this a couple of years ago (similarish thread), and they both looked surprised at the idea that they would be talking about Father Christmas at school. I was brought up with a Christian Christmas and also don't remember ever talking at school about Father Christmas (Catholic primary school, I don't think FC was part of the package). Christmas was always a very special time for me, and still is. I think it is a little sad to set things up so that the magic of being together and giving gifts is not enough to survive the death of a little bit of make believe. But then I've never met a family who did more than sticking up a stocking and pretending that presents were not from the giver who chose them. I guess there is more than that going on for those who think FC is very important?

I see no reason to stop doing father christmas just because a child has sussed it. They know its a game, just like when my son pretends his towel is his superman cape.

You can still have make believe and concept of reality. Pre school children do it all the time. Our washing basket has been a boat, a turtle shell, a treasure chest and a car. My son knows its a washing basket, but he still has fun using his imagination.

My feeling is that as times go on my son will want one big present rather than lots of little presents. When he is older I will be able to ask him which he wants: a stocking or hypothetically a nintendo Wii instead of his stocking and presents from family? I suspect that he will let me know when he no longer wants his stocking.

I agree reallytired - I offered it as a possible reason to give a child for not telling other children the truth about santa (as the OP asked what reason she could give her dd for not talking about it to similar aged friends) not as recommended practice.

Katie-DD: I can't believe everyone seems so against the idea!
DD is 6 & has a very vivid imagination
In our house we 'believe' in fairies, imaginary friends, Father Christmas, God & Playmobil People. That doesn't mean we actually believe in them, just that they are all fantastic stories & it is upto individual children & adults to work out which ones they really, really believe in .
Is it just me or is this not a difficult concept for children to understand? She knows that some children play fairies, others FC & they all play along with hymn practise even if they are not so sure!
Children are intelligent enough to understand the concept of stories & it's then upto them to work out which are fiction.
This mother has no right whatsoever to approach you in such a way. If she has lied to her DD all these years, then the probem is hers. Children can make up their own minds!

The children who are the most gutted by the truth about Santa are those who have been strung along by their parents for years.

tbh I think that KatieDD dd has done her friends a favour. It is about time they knew that Father Christmas does not actually exist.

Reallytired - that is such a 'sod everyone else attitude'. Fair enough - from MN I now understand that lots of people don't do FC at all, lots of people think it is a huge lie and were traumatised when they found out, others love it all and try to keep it going for as long as possible. No one 'strategy' is wrong. We are all different. 'It is about time they knew that Father Christmas does not actually exist.' - is such a selfish attitude. Your way is fine for your family and my way is fine for mine.

Katiedd, my 8 year old still believesish in FC, although she has told me that other children in her class do not. Did I go storming up to the school to find out which child had been destroying my dd's innocence? Of course not, how ridiculous!

I cannot believe that no other child has mentioned to the child in your dd's class that FC many not exist. I'm guessing we are talking about a year 4 class.

I'm afraid some people on MN do go a bit crazy about the Christmas thing. I always thought it was stress in the Christmas runup, but isn't November a bit early to be stressed. I am surprised that no-one has flamed you for mentioning that FC does not exist in a thread title in case their dc are reading it . I stand by my view that dc should not be reading MN, there are far more frightening things on this forum than whether FC exists.

Sorry I think that by year 4 children should be aware of what is real and what is legend. Its not as if we are talking about infant school children. Do you think that you should keep the myth going until secondary school?

KatieDD daughter has done nothing wrong. She has not been selfish and neither have I. I think expecting other people to go along with your hoax is far more selfish.

ffs Father Christmas does not exist? Hello...

Who are you to decide that he doesn't exist?

REallytired - no I don't think the myth as you call it should keep going until secondary school - but I do know some 10 year olds who still believe. What the hell is wrong with a bit of imagination and magic?

Also - all people are wanting is a bit of discretion. Not too much to ask I wouldn't have thought.

Nothing wrong with a bit of imagination and magic. We have lots in our household, but we all know we are playing along. I simply can't imagine saying to my eight and nine year old "now remember not to say anything about Father Christmas because some of your classmates might find it upsetting to find out he doesn't really bring all the presents". I would think it fairly bizarre, and I think they would too.

I have said to my son to be careful when it comes to religious beliefs, because his dad can be a little forthright, and I wouldn't want ds to get in trouble, but beyond that? I really wouldn't expect children of this age to be that concerned about the FC myth, and if they did I would imagine they were a little tougher as there is plenty of evidence out there that presents are bought by parents and other people who love you, not a big fat man who somehow breaks into your house at night.

"What the hell is wrong with a bit of imagination and magic?"

In order to have imagination you need to have a concept of reality. How can you pretend something if it is actually believe to be true. What is imaginative about believing a lie your parents have told?

The reality of Father Christmas is that its the imagination of coca cola marketing. If the family was being imaginative then they might think up something a bit more orginal.

" but I do know some 10 year olds who still believe. "

Either they are exceptionally stupid or more likely they are just pretending that they believe to please their parents. I hope its the latter for their sake otherwise they could be teased badly at school.

I give up.

This thread is completely bizarre. I'm with mabanana - some things kids have to sort out between themselves; I can't imagine why parents feel the need to involve themselves with this.

Hi Katie DD, I discovered to my cost a couple of years ago that posting about the truth about FC on Mumsnet leads to extreme FC rage, personal abuse, accusations of child abuse, etc, etc.

I suggest you walk away from the thread, have a nice hot bath and don't worry about it at all. Children hear all sorts of stuff in the playground and rightly disbelieve most of it. If they want to keep on believing in FC they will. If they have an enquiring mind they might ask their Mum and Dad some questions when they get home but I'd think it unreasonable of a parent not to expect questions about FC from an 8 year old.

It does occur to me that your daughter will be disbelieved by her classmates anyway so it might be a good idea to suggest she drops it now.